Clinton's Last Charge?

Barack Obama has gone 10-0 in wins since Super Tuesday and most recently slam dunked on Hillary Clinton in Wisconsin Tuesday, a state she was supposed to have a chance at winning. She's tried to shake it off. But it was nothing but net for Obama.

So now what?

I'll be highly surprised if Hillary phones it in the next couple of races then bows out. She's racked up over a thousand delegates (depending on who's doing the counting) and I don't think she will cede them without going down in flames, or at least melting into a puddle after you douse her in water while she screams, "Oh, what a world!"

And the TV pundits are ablaze with Clinton schadenfreude-laced glee today. I don't enjoy it considering that when the Wicked Witch of New York by the Way of Little Rock is gone they'll start tearing into my guy out of boredom. The pundits all agree Hillary will finally shrug her shoulders and say "fuck it" on the passive aggressive anger and move to full-on, balls-to-walls, aggressive-aggressive anger by going "negative" on Obama.

The veritable "nuclear option" of mutually assured Democratic Party destruction that has so far been avoided on both sides.

I don't see that working at all. But she doesn't really have a choice. She's a political warrior. She's not going to pack her bags and just go. This has turned in the Akira Kurosawa samurai yarn of political battles (or the Italian mob movie or western. This battle is a classic Greek motif). This is a fight of youth, vigor and beauty against the status quo. For the Clintons, this is going to be the Banzai charge of political campaigns, Hillary's own version of Pickett's charge (I'm mixing genres and metaphors here, but stick with me) as she leads adviser Mark Penn, her husband and the rest of her minions to run into the direct gunfire of the opposition.

See, Mike Huckabee keeps talking about his quixotic, Don Quixote-esque fantasy of taking the Republican nomination from John McCain out of pluck and pure heart. Right now on CNN he's comparing himself to the Alamo, which I guess is OK considering the Alamo was lost because the Texian army had been unsuccessful in rounding up some help. But the reality is he's not even the Alamo. Which at least had cannons and some bullets. He's fighting windmills singing "Dream the impossible dream." That's very different from what Hillary has to do - sack it up and go down fighting.

Huckabee has nothing to lose because he never had anything to begin with. For Hillary, she knows with certainty that the Democratic nomination would have been hers if Obama hadn't shown up, much like how the Japanese would have won the South Pacific handily if the US hadn't jumped into the fray after Pearl Harbor. Or how Confederate General Robert E. Lee might have won the battle of Gettysburg if the rebels had taken out the north's artillery better before having their men charge a hill to their deaths.

The point is, this is an "epic" (in a political sense) battle between two opponents where at one point one was much stronger and more powerful than the other, then the power shifted and now the once weaker of the two is on equal footing and ascending. Proud political warriors who love to win and are loathe to lose would rather get beat knowing they did all they could to win, rather than give up and wonder what could have been. She wants to go out with honor. She wants to take it at least to Ohio and Texas, or even to the convention if Howard Dean can't talk her down from the ledge. She won't stop until one of them has amassed the 2,025 delegates they need to win the nomination. She will cede not one delegate until she has to.

Now politics are not a Banzai charge or the Alamo or the battle of Gettysburg. It's not even "The Godfather," although this race does reminds me of the Godfather Part II with Barack Obama as Al Pacino kissing the cheek of Hillary saying, "I knew it was you," then later killing her in a boat.

No, all those situations were life or death situations. In Hillary Clinton's Banzai Pickett's Charge of the Alamo with Fredo Corleone the only thing that will die is a dream. She has to go down fighting because I don't think Hillary will run again. This year was her best shot. George W. Bush had weakened the presidency to such a point that the nation was solvent to accept anyone, especially outside of the status quo, as their savior from nearly eight years of incompetence. If she falls now, the only way she'll come back is if McCain wins.

Turning 72 this year, McCain would be 76 after his first term. Many speculate that he may not be a two-term president for this reason alone. And if goes with the "Four More Wars" platform he's been shilling, the Democrats might gain even more ground to mount another charge for the White House. Hillary, naturally, would want to lead that charge (unless Edwards decides to go "third times a charm." But even in that scenario she'd comeback.)

But if Barack Obama wins the White House it is unlikely that she would challenge him in the second term because of the pressure within the party to allow Obama a chance to retain the White House. So that means Hillary is waiting eight years to run again if Obama is a two term president. And in eight years she'll be 68 years old. Not too old to run for president again, but the same energy that was supposed to catapult her to the top this year will be behind Obama's Vice President or another Democrat who has caught the eye of the Republic. Her time will have officially passed. She will resign herself to being the senator from New York, a great achievement for a former First Lady, but a far, far fall form being President.

Then maybe she'll come out of her house once in a while to sing "Dream the Impossible Dream" with Huckabee for the fun of it.

But probably not.

Election night buzz words = buzz kill

Dude, I swear, if I have to hear a person say "experience" or "change" again I'm going to start killing super delegates until people will stop parroting what they're favorite candidates say. It's like the whole world swallowed a script of talking points. Just once, I wish that when some one jabs a mic in a person's face or hooks one up to a fellow for a live chat I wish the chatter could articulate their interest in their candidate of choice by not barfing up the word that candidate says the most.

I know that's asking a lot. But everyone's starting to sound like the cringe-worthy people in that really crappy Ron Paul ad that was released pre-Iowa.

Official Snob Statment to Media Over "Obamalagerism" Fake Scandal

Headline: Obama steals lines from friend, Mass. Governor Deval Patrick's speech when they've talked about and collaborated on speech related things before, and, oh, by the way, the Boston Globe reported on this in April of last year.

Ahem ... to CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Politico.com and the Clinton campaign:

Um ... nobody cares.

Sincerely,

Everyone in America not in the press corps or punditry or Clinton Camp

That is all. Nothing to see here. Move along.

Columnist implicates himself in Obamamania fear-mongering

Liberal Columnist Paul Krugman, who I used to enjoy reading, has been on an anti-Obama tear for a good minute. Huffington Post, though, is reporting that Krugman's greatest Obama fear now is of the inevitable "Obamamania backlash" that will result if Barack Obama does become the Democratic nominee.

My questions for Krugman are:

1. Didn't you help kick off this backlash, Paulie?

2. Would this backlash be any different from the "Anyone But Hillary" backlash?

You think that if your glass houses kept getting shattered by stones you'd stop snipping off your penis to spite your Cialis prescription. But never mind me. Just keep pimping that Obama cult thing. Yeah, that's about right.

First Spouse Campaign Sexism Watch

Michelle Obama is going to be on the cover of Newsweek. And Gawker does a round up of sorts of all the ways the media has described her as "blunt," "direct" and "edgy." Gawker sums up that all the mags are essentially saying she's "sarcastic." Which isn't necessarily a desired trait. It's kind of up there with "disaffected" and "jaded" in my book.

Or bitchy.

Which is my constant annoyance of how the media talks about the women running to be First Lady. Especially when there was a whole parcel of them. I mean, I get it, the American public is afraid of assertive, opinionated women (see Teresa Heinz-Kerry, Hillary Rodham Clinton). Everyone hates them. They want you to just talk about how much you love your kids and how much you support and love your husband. Bake cookies, "Say No to Drugs" and advocate for reading. Whooptie fucking doo.

Why is it that you just can't be yourself? I mean, as long as you're not undercutting your husband's message or getting drunk, flashing your va-jay-jay in public, let them complain about their husband's breath? Geez.

And I'm bipartisan in my annoyance about this. People will say things about a political spouse that they would never say about the man running. The man is always viewed through the desexualized panacea of the traditional dark suit and tie. He's meant to be judged by his substance. Hence why reporters judged Fred Thompson as "old" and "lackadaisical" on the stump. But his attractive ex-actress wife, Joe Scarborough of MSNBC opined that she looks like "she could work the pole."

How dare she be attractive? She obviously made him be a disgusting sexist leach by being not-ugly, not covered in a nice layer of chubby First Lady brand grandmotherly lard.

The only woman in politics who I see routinely spoken about in a near asexual manner (most of the time at least) is Condelezza Rice. I don't agree with almost anything she says, but I get just as irritated when people belittle her based on her gender. Like when my previous imaginary boyfriend Boondocks creator Aaron McGruder did a series of comic strips opining that if Condi found "love" maybe she wouldn't be hell bent on destroying the world.

Dick Cheney found love in Lynne Cheney yet he still wants to destroy the world. To quote Tina, what's love have to do with it?

Why? Why can't people be judged by their actions and their talents, not if they have boobs and whether those boobs are hot or not? Why can't Michelle Obama joke about her husband being "stinky?" A lot of people's husbands are stinky. Papa Snob, despite his refined tastes, gets a good chuckle from a well-placed fart every now and then. So he's kind of stinky.

Yes. Michelle's a pithy kind of "no fuss," intimidation artist. She recently slouched and "mm ... hmmed" her way through an interview with CBS' Katie Couric. Judging from her body language you could easily infer that either she was trying to intimidate Couric by using her height and voice or you could chalk it up to her not being trained to lose various verbal and physical habits when you're on TV. Everyone does the "mmm ... hmmm" to encourage the other person to keep talking, but if you do it a lot in a live interview it makes you come off as impatient, trying to undercut the interviewer.

But then maybe she likes to intimidate the press. I don't care. Although it's not that hard to strong arm Katie Couric.

I guess my response to the whole Michelle Obama = sarcastic meme is simply, "So what?" No one's running to be the next June Cleaver.

Mmm hmm ... Spread that kooky Obama love

Don't be afraid! Just let it all hang out ... crazy dude with the Illinois Obama license plate ...

And goofy hipsters selling "Barack Obama is my HOMEBOY" T-shirts.

Yeah, I don't get either. Everyone's all Beyonce, "Crazy in Love" for the Big O.

PS. I'm not a big Beyonce fan, but I swear, "Crazy in Love" was like the greatest thing to happen in pop crossover music. I never got tired of listening to the song. And Beyonce was fierce in the video, rocking the red pumps and dancing like a demon, but I'll never understand why Jay blows her up in the car. That's still is a "what the F#@k" moment for me.

Mmm ... Status Quo!

From Crooks and Liars: "No You Can't."

Oh, and to add to my non-stop "Hope is A Cult" coverage, here's an article from Slate.com on whether Obama has become too cool for his damn self. Then I found on Gawker a video of Obama reacting to people fainting at his campaign stumps. Make sure you're hydrated and bring some juice and graham crackers with you to the Obama speech. Don't scream too loud or strain yourself because if you pass out folks will start claiming he's the Antichrist.

(Smacks hand to your forehead) Be HEALED! Let the power of the Obama compel you!

fainting rallies
by krs601

Since I was too lazy to search the YouTube myself ...

Nonie hooked me up with the actual video from 1993 of "Paint the White House Black" by George Clinton, which I suggested a few posts back to be Obama's campaign anthem. The video was even better than I remembered. All the costumes are 90s-riffic with lots of combat boots and colorful booty shorts. And you get the pleasure of "Bill" and "Hillary" dancing to the Father of P-funk's groove while girlie girls dance wearing Madonna-esque cone bras. And at one point the shirtless Red Hot Chili Peppers pop in to join this Cross Colors orgy of saxophones, Dr. Dre and "do not inhale."

When Obama Love Gets Kooky

Courtesy of Snob regular Nonie3234:

It's kind of like seeing the Virgin Mary's face in a tortilla, but instead someone created a giant Jesus/Obama deity-to-man hybrid. Naturally, some folks didn't care for their religion and politics to be that cozy.

From the original ABC.com story from April 3, 2007:

"All of this is a response to what I've been witnessing and hearing, this idea that Barack is sort of a potential savior that might come and absolve the country of all its sins," (24-year-old artist David) Cordero said. "In a lot of ways it's about caution in assigning all these inflated expectations on one individual, and expecting them to change something that many hands have shaped."

Actually, that's kind of poignant. I like Obama a lot and I think he can be a transformative figure. But I'm a realist. He's going to have to deal with the same drama every president deals with only double worse because the higher he ascends the more criticism and heat he's going to receive. People are going to expect something magical and will find that the world is still largely the same divisive, nutso place it was before.

There's a limit to what any president can do when there are so many people to negotiate with and pacify. So I hope people in their Obamamania buzz don't forget the reality of American politics which have not changed since the Second President of the United States John Adams passed the Alien and Sedition Acts to stifle the press which was pro-Republican, the party of Vice President Thomas Jefferson. Adams thought Jefferson was in cahoots with the journalists in a effort to push a pro-French agenda ... and he totally was.

Now here's some lighter, less American forefathers death-matchy, creative Obama love fare. This was also found by Nonie3234. This is by Los Angeles based artist Kofie’One's who created an Obama wall mural at the LA headquarters for the Obama campaign. This was on LA Weekly's blog site.

And the last one is another piece of Obama-based art from "Go Tell Mama! I'm for Obama." This one is slightly less crazy, save the ABA style Obama 08 basketball. I don't know what that's about.