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General Snobbery

Sunday
Aug102008

Ten Real Photos of the Obamas Better Than the Tyra's Obama Fantasy In Harper's Bazaar

Looking at Tyra Banks' bizarro fashion spread for Harper's Bazaar I thought of how it would be far cooler to dress Michelle in Oscar de la Renta dresses and Cartier earrings and to see Barack decked out in Ermenegildo Zegna. But, goodness, if he and the missus took time out for a lush fashion shoot, as much as I or you would enjoy it, the ribbing they would get from the opposition would enormous.

But that would be somewhat out of jealousy as we all know that you can dress Cindy up and photograph her quite nicely there's not enough Silly Puddy in the world to make John McCain look like the young, stripper-loving, hard-drinking fighter pilot he was a billion years ago. Even Hillary Clinton got an offer from Vogue to go glam. But she declined out of the same concern that would keep the Obamas from going that next step into celebrity. They're already getting lumped in with celebrity succubae Paris Hilton and Britney Spears. And Barack has an army of celebrity stans, from Oprah to George Clooney to Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie to Scarlett Johansson to will.i.am to Chris Rock to Tyra herself.

They just don't need the drama. But this hasn't stopped them from racking up the magazine covers. Barack and Michelle have graced numerous covers solo, together and with their children. They're not suffering from a lack of glossy magazine coverage. But it's not their fault they're so interesting, magnetic and photogenic. But until things ease up enough so I can see Michelle in Jimmy Choos traipsing around in Balenciaga, here are ten pictures out of my collection of Barack and Michelle that are fashion spread ready.

Friday
Aug082008

John Edwards Admits Affair

And I'm not surprised. He says, Rielle Hunter was not his lover, she's just a girl he screwed a few times who thinks he is the one, but the kid is not his son! He claims another married guy, an Edwards campaign staffer, is the father.

Oh, OK. Way to make yourself look like a complete tool, considering your wife has incurable cancer and all. No big!

Guess that eliminates one Obama veep possibility!

I have to say I'm not really surprised. I realize that a lot of people liked Edwards this go round, but for me he was still Mr. Perfect-Hair-McSmiley-Face from 2004 who couldn't win his home state. I liked that he was running on a populist theme and all. Goodness knows folks just act like America doesn't have poor people, but I have to say ... not a fan. And I thought people were on crack when he was suggested for veep as I doubted the second time would be a charm.

That said, Gawker and a host of other blogs have been bitching for months about the Washington press, among others, who were ignoring this story, but again, it's about a sexual affair involving a dude not running for president who currently holds no public office. At the end of the day, this is a story of famous, rich douche cheats on wife, hurts family, annoys millions, joins the political branch of the "Can't Keep It In the Pants" club.

Current and past members include: current Republican Presidential candidate John McCain, former New York Gov. Elliot Spitzer, 42nd president of the United States Bill Clinton, Senator Larry Craig of Idaho, Senator David Vitter of Louisiana, Rep. Mark Foley of Florida, current New York Gov. David L. Paterson, Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick, New Jersey Gov. Jim McGreevey, former Democratic Presidential Primary candidate Gary Hart, former Democratic Presidential Primary candidate Jesse Jackson, three US presidents known by their initials: JFK, FDR and LBJ, Third President of the United States Thomas Jefferson, etc., etc., etc. ...

Engrave another name on the wall!

Friday
Aug082008

Kwame Kilpatrick Goes To Jail; Continues to Embarass Self and Detroit

Some people don't know when to leave the party.

And by "people," I mean Detroit's Thug-4-Life mayor, Mr. Kwame Kilpatrick. As you may have heard on a TV set or read in a blog or news site near you, Kilpatrick violated the terms of his bond recently by attending to some city business in nearby Canada. He didn't notify the authorities that he was stepping out of the country for a bit, so the judge treated him like any other criminal and sent him to jail.

It was while watching this unfold it occurred to me that this man was still the acting mayor of Detroit.

In a brazen act that would make Bill Clinton blush, he still continues to rule the roost while fighting a legal battle that could slam him with a decades long prison sentence. I've seen politicians stay in power in all sorts of hinky situations, but Kilpatrick's woes are so overwhelming, so distracting that if he cared about Detroit and its citizens he'd step down.

I'd falsely assumed he'd abdicated his throne by now. With the controversies and the firings and the affairs and the embarrassment and the whole cover-up, perjury, breakin' the law thing. You know? That stuff. And now he's going to jail. The mayor of Detroit. Jail for breaking his bond. How can you execute as Detroit's top executive if you are in the clink? How exactly does this work? Slipping city legislation through hollowed out Bibles? Engraving the daily itinerary on the prison walls?

And what I don't understand are the people who still doggedly defend Kilpatrick. Blackness is not an immunity amulet to shield corrupt politicians from criticism from the same community they are embarrassing and victimizing. I'm for defending the defenseless and the wrongly accused, but Kilpatrick has done nothing to warrant such loyalty. He chose to do the things he did in a sloppy effort to hide his affair. It would have served him better to just admit he was screwing around that break the law and commit perjury to conceal it. Did he learn nothing from Bill and Barry Bonds and countless others who lie to federal grand juries?

Screwing around and taking steroids (which aren't illegal, mind you) doesn't get you in trouble. Lying about it to a federal judge does. Lying about it to Congress does. Lying about it to a prosecutor while under questioning does.

Now if you're not stupid enough to figure that out, you don't deserve to be dog catcher, let alone mayor of anything. If former New York Governor Elliot Spitzer knew to back down after screwing call girls, and he's successor David Paterson knew to own up to his past extramarital dibbling and dabbling from jump, what is Kilpatrick's excuse ... other than he is too stubborn, too self-involved, too vain, too obtuse, too hood to step down?

Kilpatrick was cut by his own overplayed hand. There's really only one question left to ponder:

Who's going down as the worst black American mayor? Kilpatrick or reigning king former Washington, D.C. Mayor Marion Berry?

Busted in an FBI sting while smoking crack cocaine in a hotel room with an ex-girlfriend, Barry ended up serving a six month sentence, but remained part of the D.C. political scene and returned to be mayor again four years later. Berry's had a history of drug problems and as recently as 2005 tested positive for cocaine in the midst of an IRS investigation, but he's still kicking around, currently as city councilman. At one time he ran for office under the slogan "He may not be perfect, but he's perfect for D.C."

Nice.

But what's worst or who's worst? And why? Did either do things that helped their respective cities while the mayors were in-between controversies? Is there something to be salvaged from these tarred and tattered legacies?

Friday
Aug082008

Obamas Going On Vacation, Heading to Hawaii

Nothing like a little break before the convention. And don't the all just look adorable per usual? These pictures were taken by The Associated Press at O'Hare International Airport in Chicago. Hawaii's going to throw a little welcome home bash for their quasi native son.

I'll keep my eye out for additional pictures of the Obamas in Hawaii and post them as I find 'em. If you find any, send them my way!

This is a good time for a breather. It's August. It's dull. The cable news and its punditocracy are so bored they're back to getting a woody over every fart and gurgle coming out of the Clintons' mouths.

Honestly, I just don't find what Hillary says to a small group of her most hardcore supporters captured on a cell phone news, especially since we all know she isn't going to do jack crap. This "Showdown at the OK Corral" speculation is just that -- speculation. I didn't even find Bill's inability to be all "rah, rah, sis cum bah" for Barack in that ABC interview very relevant either. Mostly because their passive-aggressive moaning means absolutely nothing.

Unless the two plan to immolate themselves in front of Invesco Field during Obama's acceptance speech I just don't give a fahrvergnügen. MSNBC's Chuck Todd just can't make me care just because Mike Barnicle is chanting "Fight! Fight!" while they guestimate what Bill is thinking based on facial ticks and voodoo.

But they have nothing to say when no one actually fights. When the Clintons throw out some faint praise. When Obama plays it all down and dismisses it all, pundits balk. Surely this is trickery! The media wants a repeat of the primaries, agitation for the sake of agitation. But no one will give it to them therefore the hype must be manufactured.

Everyone speculates that Obama will squeeze out the Clintons' roles at the convention and then news leaks that Bill Clinton will speak in the Wednesday slot. As if the last two term, popularly elected Democratic president, no matter how big of a douche he's been lately, was going to be boxed out of the convention. What? And give these morons MORE to speculate about?

At the end of the day, they'll still be up there, skinnin' and grinnin', because they both are party people ... Democratic Party people. And no one's throwing a party where they're not invited. All those cameras and pomp and circumstance. Bright lights. Big city. And he's a former president for Jeebus sake! Why was it ever a debate whether or not he'll be there? George W. is toxic and he'll be at the RNC convention. Probably not near McCain, but he'll be there.

Normally I try not to blame the messengers, but it seems like the messengers want to spin their way into some DNC disharmony hoping for any controversy during the convention when I doubt there will be any.

Why can't we just call the Clintons drama queens and move on? Why the over analyzation. It's not that complicated.

Thursday
Aug072008

Beyonce's Michael Jackson Syndrome

The L'Oreal Beyonce "paleface" ad, while getting a lot of attention on the Web, had a lot of Snob readers (among others) pointing out that Beyonce and her peeps had to be complicit in this act of stupidity. Being ever the nosy person I am, my curiosity was piqued at the implied depth of Bey's "Creole fever." After hearing from a commenter on Facebook that Beyonce actually looked close to this pale in a recent public appearance I fired up my WireImage account to see what she looked like in the most recent public shindig they shot of her on file.

I found these pics from May 6th at the 40/40 Club in NYC.

I want to talk about how horrid that outfit is with the shiny thick dance competition tights and black leather gloves and those disastrous shoes, but that's not what this entry is about. It's about the skin tone which is ... dramatically lighter.

Once again, with the blonde hair she's almost unrecognizable, although she is still not as light as the L'Oreal ad. Still, realistically she could have done some extra "brightening" between May and when that photo was taken. Heck, some lighting changes at the shoot could create the full-on "Casper" look.

Once again, not surprised, but it's disappointing when light brown celebrities become ever-more-lighter-brown celebrities. Mostly because a nose job is a dime-a-dozen and the Britney-Lindsay-Paris-Jessica Simpson celebrity industrial complex lives for orange fake bake and three-square-meals of cigarettes n' Starbucks per day, but outside of the Howard Hughes tragedy that is Michael Jackson, I don't know a lot of black celebrities who've done something this dramatic to their skin tone. (Wait ... just remembered Wendy Williams and Lil Kim, but Beyonce actually has a discernible talent so it seems unfair to lump her in with the Wicked Witches of the East Coast.) Perhaps they start using sunblock or carrying an umbrella everywhere, but there is only so much sunblock and umbrellas can do to fight the natural browning of your blackness.

This is a little silly, isn't it? Especially when you're a celeb as ubiquitous as she is, who everyone has seen ad nauseum and is expected to look familiar, not sickly pale, like your liver is failing. Pre-lightening she was already successful and accepted. This wasn't a Lisa Kudrow "needed nose job to get foot in door" situation. But Jackson, who was a millionaire by the time he was ten, was successful and accepted yet he looks like the world's least attractive, nose-less Johnny Depp impersonator.

Once you start freaking people out it's a sign that you're hitting the point-of-no-return, where folks begin to wonder if this is a black celebrity version of anorexia, but for skin tone. That you've become all "vitiligo" translucent not for success, but because you have serious mental problems. The kind where you think if you just become three shades paler all those Jay-Z/Rihanna rumors will go away. Where pigmentation equals improved acting quality. Where whiteness will make that tacky outfit she has on look better.

Nope. Still tacky.

Thursday
Aug072008

Man Makes Obama Assassination Threat

From The Associated Press:

MIAMI (AP) — A man who authorities said was keeping weapons and military-style gear in his hotel room and car appeared in court Thursday on charges he threatened to assassinate Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama.

Raymond Hunter Geisel, 22, was arrested by the Secret Service on Saturday in Miami and was ordered held at Miami's downtown detention center without bail Thursday by a federal magistrate.

A Secret Service affidavit charges that Geisel made the threat during a training class for bail bondsmen in Miami in late July. According to someone else in the 48-member class, Geisel allegedly referred to Obama with a racial epithet and continued, "If he gets elected, I'll assassinate him myself."

And this probably won't be the last person the Secret Service detains as Barack Obama continues his historic, attention grabbing, synergistic, popular campaign. Racists and whack jobs alike dig the notion of immortality by taking down something or someone bigger than them. Lik a presidential candidate. Or a movement. It's a guaranteed way to go down in the history books, turning relative nobodies (Lee Harvey Oswald, John Hinckley Jr., James Earl Ray, etc) into violent anti-hero Paul Bunyans. And it doesn't matter if they've gotten orders from the KKK or the little voices in their head, they're all potentially dangerous.

Let's hope they remain all talk and no action.

Thursday
Aug072008

Morgan Freeman, out of the hospital and divorcing ... And L'Oreal sez Beyonce is au naturale in that picture. Riiiiiiiiiiiiight.

#1) Man, is Morgan Freeman having a sucky week or what? First you almost get killed in a car accident, have surgery, you've broken all kinds of bones and then the news breaks that you and the misses are splitsville. Fun times.

Freeman went home from the hospital today, while his press flack broke the news about the divorce.

Freeman's business partner and attorney Bill Luckett broke the news, telling the Memphis Commercial-Appeal newspaper there is a "divorce action pending," but refusing to give further details.

Luckett added that the actor and his wife, a costumer, has been separated for the better part of the past year.

"For legal and practical purposes, [Freeman and Colley-Lee] have been separated since December of 2007," he told Access Hollywood on Wednesday.

Freeman and Colley-Lee married in 1984. The actor was previously wed to Jeanette Adair Bradshaw from 1967 to 1979.

I'm glad Freeman is recovering though and is going to be OK as heals up over the next six months. He deserves a break. The man is in three movies this year. But I wonder how this will affect the film where he was supposed to play Nelson Mandela, Clint Eastwood's "The Human Factor?" Freeman is actually the star in that and how often does he get to headline?

But I can't see Clint shooting it without him. Those old coots really like working together.

#2) L'Oreal has pulled a "Shaggy" and is singing "it wasn't me," to the lightening act on Beyonce's face. They swear she simply showed up looking like Casper the Friendly Ghost.

E! Online has a less ashen copy of the ad on their site, but it's still pretty jarring.

Sayeth E!:

Today, the French cosmetics giant is adamantly denying that it gave its longtime spokeswoman a case of the Michael Jacksons.

"Beyoncé Knowles has been a spokesperson for the L'Oréal Paris brand since 2001," the company said in a statement to E! News, after coming under withering online attacks suggesting the ad (on right, above) lightened more than just the hair color of the brand's famous face.

"We highly value our relationship with Ms. Knowles. It is categorically untrue that L'Oréal Paris altered Ms. Knowles' features or skin-tone in the campaign for Feria's hair color."

A rep for the 27-year-old Knowles declined to comment beyond the L'Oréal statement.

Decline to comment, eh? The not-so-secret plot thickens.

Thursday
Aug072008

Must Read: "Is Obama The End of Black Politics"

Photo byNigel Parry for The New York Times. From left: Mayor Michael Nutter of Philadelphia; Representative James Clyburn of South Carolina; Representative John Lewis of Georgia; and Representative Artur Davis of Alabama.

Written for New York Times Magazine by Matt Bai and set to run in print on Sunday, "Is Obama The End of Black Politics" is about the concept of post-racial/civil rights politics and the divide between the old guard and the upstart young black politicians of today who feel the old methods and rules on race no longer apply. One story in particular from Elijah Cummings, the former chairman of the Congressional Black Caucus, really drew me into the article. (If you can't open the article, try this second link, here.)

For black Americans born in the 20th century, the chasms of experience that separate one generation from the next— those who came of age before the movement, those who lived it, those who came along after — have always been hard to traverse. Elijah Cummings, the former chairman of the Congressional Black Caucus and an early Obama supporter, told me a story about watching his father, a South Carolina sharecropper with a fourth-grade education, weep uncontrollably when Cummings was sworn in as a representative in 1996. Afterward, Cummings asked his dad if he had been crying tears of joy. “Oh, you know, I’m happy,” his father replied. “But now I realize, had I been given the opportunity, what I could have been. And I’m about to die.” In any community shadowed by oppression, pride and bitterness can be hard to untangle.

This made me think of my great-grandmother who saw her youngest daughter go to college and have a career that she could never have. See the pride my grandparents had in my mother, who made it out of poverty, out of rural Arkansas and also see what was denied to them because of segregation and discrimination. I thought of my parents who watched me live a content and normal childhood, where I never went hungry and everything was already paid for, including college.

My father often remarked that when he went off to college it was a step up because he got his own dresser and didn't have to share a bed with his brother anymore. But for me, a crazy roommate in a tiny room with a communal toilet for the dorm was a step down.

The lengthy article continued to get more and more intriguing with interviews with young black mayors and other politicians, like Mike Nutter, the mayor of Philadelphia who endorsed Hillary Clinton during the primaries and has a complex relationship with his black constituents. Gov. Deval Patrick of Massachusetts is also in the article, bristling at yet another question about Jesse Jackson's "nutcracker" comments.

The piece also gets into the similarity of now to political shifts of more than 20 years ago when Jackson ran for president and black politicians who didn't support him were eventually usurped by younger, more savvy talent. Bai wrote how there was a price to pay for stagnation and impeding the march of history.

This quote from black political pollster Cornell Belcher is particularly telling in the shift of attitude.

“Barack Obama is the sum of their struggle. He’s the sum of their tears, their fights, their marching, their pain. This opportunity is the sum of that.

“But it’s like watching something that you’ve been working on all your life sort of come together right before your eyes, and you can’t see it,” Belcher said. “It’s like you’ve been building the Great Wall of China, and you finally put that last stone in. And you can’t see it. You just can’t see the enormity of it.”

I have been reluctant to criticize my "elders" too harshly, specifically those who actually did sacrifice their bodies and lives for the movement. I've always been willing to be patient with them while at the same time frustrated with the inertia the movement has been in since desegregation. (The article addresses that issue to, specifically in relations to the NAACP.)

There are new problems, serious, dire problems, that aren't being adequately addressed. Too many times Civil Rights activists are wasting time trying to censure shock jocks with mock outrage and guilt-baiting rather than deal with the real outrage that is our high incarceration rate, our crumbling cities, our horrible schools, our lack of jobs, our lack of health care, our rising HIV infections, our low rate of marriage and our high number of children born out of wedlock.

These issues don't involve something obvious like a white person calling us "nigger." But it seems like outrage and action can only be amassed when the magic degrading code words of bigotry are uttered. At some point you have to see that it's time to stop fighting the last war and start developing techniques to fight the new one.

At the same time, I don't like it when people greip that the "old folks" need to step back and let youth take over. It's not that our elders don't need a kick in the pants. They most assuredly do. But it seems foolish to me to throw away our institutionalized knowledge, the representatives of our history. They still have a use. And traditionally, elders are valued for the knowledge when they yield it with skill and patience.

And others aren't trying to slay their grandpas. Sen. Robert Byrd of West Virginia -- former Klansman, Iraq War hater and, now, ironically, Obama supporter -- has been in the senate since Moses saw the burning bush. Despite his age and love of pork-filled earmarks, no one is trying to euthanize the man because they value what he has built (ironically with government pork). A culture needs it's elders, from Sen. Ted Kennedy to former President Jimmy Carter. Even old coots like Byrd serve a purpose.

Those black politicians who aren't doing a service to their constituency, who are not behaving in a manner that is forward thinking, deserve to be voted out. Voters should give the new man or woman on the block a chance because that is out our system thrives and improves. But I also don't think we should unilaterally throw away these dinosaurs of another era. Even the ones who sound nutters at times (like Jackson or Rep. Charles Rangel of Harlem or former Ambassador Andrew Young.) They still have a use, a purpose. I would hope that both sides would realize that they need one another to reach their goals.

And I would hope that the old generation would relent, celebrate the successes of these young leaders -- who are, after all, the fruits of their labor -- and open up their minds to change.

For more Jack and Jill Politics also wrote about this article.

Thursday
Aug072008

The Obamas' Paper Dolls: What Will They Think of Next?

I'm waiting out for the Barack and Michelle Obama action figures personally. And I say action figures, not dolls, because Barack and Michelle are all about action. I expect them to be dressed and ready to lead the nation. And I expect them to be fly and fierce like my pair of Venus and Serena Williams dolls action figures. And the Florence "Flo Jo" Griffin Joyner doll action figure I had as a kid.

Fierce. I want them to be FIERCE, Mattel. Whenever you start cranking them out. But if you can't wait for your own Barack with the Kung Fu grip, perhaps these paper dolls of the Obama clan Snob reader Nonie found will tide you over.

When I was a kid I used to draw my own paper dolls with my sisters. Mama Snob also purchased paper doll books for us as wee ones. I have fond memories of it. And, oddly enough, I actually own a British Royal Family paper doll set which includes young Harry and William and one solitary paper doll of their mother, the former Princess of Wales. Man, did she pretty up that bunch.

The book used to sit on my desk at work. It was a bit of a gag, because I'm not much of a royalist. I think monarchies are a little silly. But there is nothing silly about wanting your own set of paper dolls of your favorite future first family.

But seriously. I'm holding out for the action figures and Michelle's separately sold fashion line.

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