Monday on Clutch Magazine Online I have not one, but two posts up about Sherri Shepherd being trolled by an abusive Twitter user and mega-church pastor Creflo Dollar getting arrested after his teen daughter dialed 911 on him. Apparently he hit and choked the child during a fight over whether or not she could attend a party. First up: Sherri. While I could understand and relate to her frustration -- never give a troll attention. Just quietly block them and report the offender for abuse.
Here's a snippet:
There are other tactics – like tracking and blocking IP addresses or trolling your troll in a bootleg Bourne Identity game of one-upmanship, but the problem with all those things is that it devotes a lot of time and attention to someone whose sole purpose is to suck up your time and attention.
Which, for me, was the biggest mistake Shepherd made. She made her fight so public that DaCloneKiller could relish in the attention. Shepherd should have quietly blocked the offending Twitter account from seeing hers, then contacted Twitter separately, flagging the user for being abusive.
If DaCloneKiller kept at it from there, like by changing accounts so he could continue to follow her and harass her, Shepherd would have a real, clear case for police involvement. And that the guy has gone from “Unsuccessful Troll” to “Grade A Internet Creep.” By forwarding it to her followers so they too would turn around and tweet, retweet and directly confront the user they all fed the troll. Which, as I stated before, is the worst thing ever as that is what the troll wants. Shepherd just made herself “troll bait” in the fact that she expects privacy, decency, even politeness in a crass public forum like Twitter. Meaning she is a great target for trolls because you’re almost promised to get a response out of her, every time.
DaCloneKiller was a successful as a troll because everyone stopped doing whatever else they could have been doing with their life to give over some time and attention to him. Time that could have been spent on better productivity at work, “liking” a Facebook status, taking a nap, deleting useless files from your computer or picking the lent out of your belly button was now sucked up by a phony crusade against a guy who likely wrote what he/she did simply to get this wondrous, well-meaning but misguided response.
When Creflo Dollar and his 15-year-old daughter got into a fight it ended with a call to the police. It's a emblematic of some sort of breakdown in the prosperity gospel minister's home. Either he's abusive or his child -- that he raised -- is out-of-control ... or, wait for it, it's all those things and more because Dollar might be like some of the parents I knew growing up who were still doling out spankings to teens, only to buy them crap after the abuse because they could never stand for their children to be upset with them. The kids didn't really get affection or structure or any kind of parental guidance, but they got whoopins ... and presents. Naturally, that might make you a little screwy and entitled.
Here's a snippet:
You can beat a kid and still raise a monster. Because beating your kid doesn’t get you respect – consistency, nurturing and structure does. A “whoopin’” is something you may resort to on an as need-be, case-by-case basis, based on your child’s temperament. It’s not the one-size-belt-beats-all parenting solution people preach it to be.
Whoopins can’t take the place from actual parenting.
Often with my peers who were still getting spankings well into their teen years there was a common theme – their parents had more affluence than they’d ever had growing up and wanted to share that with their kids to a certain extent, both parents worked long hours (meaning they often felt guilty for feeling like they were neglecting their children) and made up for the time lost in buying more stuff for their kids. When the children got out of line, the parents would either not really discipline them at all, or they would beat them … then take them out for ice cream because they couldn’t handle the kids they barely saw to be upset with them.
Unfortunately, children don’t get that mom and dad are serving up beatings topped with Sony Playstations out of middle class guilt. They just get that all hurt feelings come with a present at the end. That the word “no” is just a “pre-yes” if you throw enough fits or pit your parents against each other, playing on their guilt.
And what was once manageable, or even cute, when they were small, means you get a crazed, ego-monster for a teenager.