The chickens have come home to roost! But since right wingers don't really understand what that phrase means, the chickens actually showed up at their coop talking about, "Really? Reverend Jeremiah Wright? Again? Are you going to bring back Glenn Beck's show again so he can do another 12-part series on Black Liberation Theology?"
Then they went cluck-cluck-cluck and pooped all over everything just like chickens do.
This latest failed plot to finally get that wily Metrosexual Abe Lincoln Barack Obama involves something called "The Plan," proving to me once and for all that all GOP operatives are secretly Cylons. "The Plan" is to "do exactly what John McCain would not let us do." Which was what? Make yourselves look like bigger fools than you already are?
From The New York Times:
“The world is about to see Jeremiah Wright and understand his influence on Barack Obama for the first time in a big, attention-arresting way,” says the proposal, which was overseen by Fred Davis and commissioned by Joe Ricketts, the founder of the brokerage firm TD Ameritrade. Mr. Ricketts is increasingly putting his fortune to work in conservative politics.
The $10 million plan, one of several being studied by Mr. Ricketts, includes preparations for how to respond to the charges of race-baiting it envisions if it highlights Mr. Obama’s former ties to Mr. Wright, who espouses what is known as “black liberation theology.”
The group suggested hiring as a spokesman an “extremely literate conservative African-American” who can argue that Mr. Obama misled the nation by presenting himself as what the proposal calls a “metrosexual, black Abe Lincoln.”
Well, of course, since the plan is about rehashing the Rev. Jeremiah Wright Jr. drama of 2008 where you got a lot of "The President sat in that church and listened to the words 'Goddamn, America,'" and ignored the entire history of everything and just sat on the floor screaming "Reverse Racism Vampire" until then Senator Barack Obama gave his big ol speech on "RACE" and reminded folks that it's not that rare for a man of Wright's age, who's been through segregation and seen the absolute worse of racism, to be jaded and not all that cheery about his place of birth -- even though he still lives here, pays taxes and hopes for the best. And also that the President was raised by white people, of whom he loved and loved him, and who like all Americans, had some prejudices.
So there was a lot of clapping. At one point Wright got to do a George Jefferson-style ho-down on national television that my parents found hilariously delightful. And then he mash potatoed on into semi-obscurity.
But for whatever reason, there's this whole conservative meme that this story wasn't "investigated" enough, even though the No. 1 cable news network in all the land, FOX News, was the first to break the story and rode that pony well into the election season, building up all that attention and scrutiny and hype that lead to Wright's showing out and Obama having to denounce the whole thing.
But THAT WASN'T ENOUGH! MOAR! MOAR!
The 54-page proposal was professionally bound and illustrated with color photographs, indicating that it is far beyond a mere discussion. The strategists have already contacted Larry Elder, a black conservative radio host in Los Angeles, about serving as a spokesman, and the plan calls for a group of black business leaders to endorse the effort. The strategists have also registered a domain name, Character Matters.
The proposal suggests that Mr. Ricketts believes the 2008 campaign of Senator John McCain erred in not using images of Mr. Wright against Mr. Obama, who has said that the pastor helped him find Jesus but that he was never present for Mr. Wright’s politically charged sermons. Mr. Obama left the church during the campaign.
Apparently referring to a Wright ad that was produced for the McCain campaign by Mr. Davis’s firm but never used, the proposal opens with a quote from Mr. Ricketts: “If the nation had seen that ad, they’d never have elected Barack Obama.”
I said it in 2008 and I'll say it again: C'mon, RNC! Put out some new tracks! I'm tired of the remixes!
Since the news broke, the Chicago Cubs co-owner and AmeriTrade founder footing the bill Joe Ricketts and the SuperPac behind it were inundated with the "Giant Public Wagging Finger of Shame" and Ricketts side-stepped the whole thing with a response of What proposal? That proposal! OMG, we're so offended too! How could someone send me that thing! Wait? You think I was going to use that thing? OMG! *clutches baseball bats*
“I was immediately troubled by the proposal. It surprised me,” Brian Baker, president of Ending Spending Action Fund, funded by billionaire Joe Ricketts, said on MSNBC’s “Morning Joe.” “We run an organization based on fiscal responsibility. They know we asked for a document based on ending spending, fiscal responsibility and jobs in the economy. This is far afield from that.”
Baker said it was “deeply troubling and unfair” for their organization — and Ricketts, the TD Ameritrade billionaire who funds the super PAC — to be associated with the proposal, since they had never approved anything in it and didn’t commission such a proposal.
“The world is full of bad ideas. This is one of them,” the super PAC president said. “This wasn’t a proposal we requested at all. We never funded it … We had nothing to do with the suggestion of Reverend Wright.”
Baker explained that their organization had requested a general proposal but neither approved or condoned what was submitted.
Well, that settles it! Nothing to see here! Let's just dust our hands and declare it a slow news day at The Times, eh?
That said, if the best dig anyone can come up with is that the president is some "Metrosexual black Abe Lincoln" that actually sounds kind of awesome. (Even if the president is really more like Tuvok in dad jeans.) I mean, metrosexual implies he's well-groomed and well-dressed, probably smells nice and looks good. Abraham Lincoln is one of America's greatest and most legendary presidents who has two movies coming out about him. (In one he kills Vampires!) He also has one more popular presidential monuments in Washington, D.C. and kids actually get to learn about in history class because -- usually -- they'll at least get up to the Civil War before they go back to making them memorize multiplication time tables.
Also, he once ethered Chuck Norris in a really epic rap battle.
And I'm sure Obama's been called far worse things. Far worse.