Clutch Magazine: Are You Addicted to Love?
Friday, May 11, 2012 at 12:19PM
In a Friday post for Clutch Magazine Online, The Snob talks about the more dysfunctional end of serial monogamy -- namely your person who fears being alone so much, they routinely settle for horrible relationships. Then want to tell you all about them. But no one wants to hear about, gurl. Lemme talking you down from making this mistake again.
From Clutch:
We’ve all had that one friend (you know her, she’s you) who just can’t be alone. She’s the one in a world where women of all nationalities are lamenting how hard it is to find a man who always has one. And she can’t live without him. And if for some reason he makes a break for it, she will just fall back into an old relationship that she already know the unhappy ending to (*cough, Reggie Bush, cough*) or cling on to dear life to some other guy who, deep down, she can just barely stand.
Kanye says, “I’m-a let you finish, but for the record, I’m the best boyfriend of all time. ALL TIME!”
That’s sweet.
But while this drama makes for great reality television and sells tabloids pushing the many loves and love maladies of Halle Berry, in real life – this blows.
No one likes to be alone. But if being alone gives you such a panic attack that you take back the ex who cheated on you with an escort service and half of the female population of the city of Philadelphia perhaps it’s time to reassess. You don’t want to be some love stoned puppet of serial monogamy with folks you pray to God you don’t get pregnant by and hence be stuck with permanently while you remain your vigil for “the one.”
Reader Comments (2)
Excellent article!! Unfortunately, it seems that women in general are also socialized to be serial monogamists - that we are only worth something if a man, any man, wants us and chooses us. We are not taught to be genuinely confident and how to validate ourself for just being the amazing people that we are (a whole other can of worms to be opened!). This affects all women, but especially women of color, and more so black women who are repeatedly told to settle for any man we can get (yet another can of worms to be open!), seeing that in any kind of confrontation the first insults thrown are usually regarded to looks, relationship statuses, and what not. I enjoy reading your blog and article... keep it up! A voice of sanity and sense among the market noise is greatly appreciated.
Co-sign your sentiments and Marie's are right on. I've always felt serial monogamy was geared to keep women in relationships, even unhealthy ones.
In fact I have my own rants on serial monogamy. http://blogs.scientificamerican.com/urban-scientist/2012/03/02/feministing-friday-serial-monogamy-is-bad-for-women/