Hey, I'm back! And it's 2012, today's the Iowa Caucus, and it's time for the Race for the White House to officially begin! It our great national fight of who gets to be the person in charge as we slide further and further into Thunderdome territory here in the states. I orderd my chain mail pantsuit off of Amazon and everything, I'm so ready.
Are you ready, Iowa?
Of course you are.
We have at least a month more of the media pretending like any of the GOP candidates not named Mitt Romney are sane, viable, reasonable choices to run for president of the United States. Not that Mitt Romney is that great. To the contrary, he's inauthentic and uncomfortable looking and reminds everyone of the guy who fired their dad at the old plant. But he at least makes sense as someone who could run for president. The rest of these clowns? Puh-shaw, I say.
I know the press feels a lot of pressure to treat like both parties like they are the same, but what the hell is going on with the GOP right now where this batch of also-rans, performance artists and "True Believer" fundies are presidential material?
Everyone keeps saying that the Democrats have their own "lefty extremists" they're listening to, but ... wait, what? Who's the kingmaker equivalent of Rush Limbaugh on the left? I like Ed Schultz as much as the next guy, but I don't see any Lefties who are afraid of Ed or his "Ed Heads." Can't be Rachel Maddow. She's all reasonable and polite and seriously discussing things. It can't be Lawrence O'Donnell. He's trying to get some damn desks for some kids in Malawi.
It's not that the left doesn't have "kooks," but no one on the left worries about passing any of their litmus tests and kisses none of their rings. In fact, Democrats pretty much fall all over themselves having "Sister Souljah" moments, taking a crap on the same "extreme" lefties the GOP crows about. But these same individuals never reach the same levels of prestige and influence their right wing equivalents do.
When was the last time Rosie O'Donnell and Michael Moore made out on the main stage of the Democratic National Convention for two hours while Keith Olbermann filmed it? When was that last time Louis Farrakhan got to visit the White House? What office was Noam Chomsky and Bill Ayers elected to? What tax pledge did Ralph Nader get anyone to sign and adhere to religiously?
Oh, right. None of that shit happened. The one time so-called "lefty radical group" ACORN got in trouble because of some trumped up garbage, the Democrats let the place get trashed and destroyed rather than counter the GOP's "war" on a group that helps poor people find housing. I can't wait to hear FOX News dig up that New Black Panther Party thing again.
The Democratic Party is essentially the Republican Party from fifty years ago -- the one that tepidly opposed segregation while practicing some form of "liberal" conservatism, a la President Richard Nixon or President Dwight Eisenhower. That's how successful conservatives have been in pushing things ever more to the right, working to undo pretty much everything that started during the presidency of Franklin Delano Roosevelt, of which they are also still at war with, arguing that the man did nothing to help America, even though he was elected four times by large majorities.
But you can't dismantle the popular programs, presidents and ideals of the day unless you convince history adverse Americans to revise the past with a new skewed, pessimistic view that the Civil Rights and Voting Rights Act "hurt" people's "freedom" (to be "racist") or that the government can do or resolve nothing when all the government is is people. People chosen and elected by other people. We get the government we vote for.
And if you vote for a bunch of anti-government, conservative demagogues with no interest in actually governing -- just a gaggle of deficit hawks and religious extremists -- you get the non-functioning, cynical, dysfunctional government you deserve.
America elected the Hopey Changey guy and they'll probably re-elect him again. But it'll be for nothing if he still has to govern with a bunch of anti-government fundamentalists who think the only way to save America is by turning it into an economic Thunderdome where everyone is so poor that Aunty Entity won't have to go overseas for workers because they'll finally be able to get someone in the states to stitch her metal dresses in a warehouse with a bucket for a toilet and no job protection for less than $20 a day.
I'm not saying there shouldn't be a GOP. Good Lord knows there needs to be more than one political party. But a party that has given up on government while simultaneously wanting to be in charge of it makes no damn sense. People keep acting like we have choices, but I don't see how anyone has any if this is the best alternative to Obama the opposition party can come up with -- Robot Snow "Mittens" White and the Five Dwarves of the Apocolypse.
Good luck, Iowa.