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Mittens Sez: Corporations Are People Too (Video)

Oh, Mittens! Can we talk? Have I told you lately that I love you? Word on the street is that the Obama re-election campaign plans to smear you with the "weird" label. (Although Axelrod says he'll totally fire you if you say that mess outloud because that's not the strategy.) But if anyone has ever spent time with an insincere kajillionaire who's trying to figure out how to be down with the homies in the hood they would know that you're not "weird." You're just really far removed from how most peoples' lives are. But c'mon, Mittens. You're not the first insanely wealthy guy to run for Head Enchilada. Why is it so hard for you to not look like you don't want to wipe your hands on your jeans whenever you do grip n' grins with the hoi polloi?

I know, I know. Poor people are all smelly, plus it's summer, so they're extra smelly. And our fat, clammy hands kind of make you want to vomit a little, but that's what the little bottle of hand sanitizer in your pocket is for! Just rub a little in your palms and ... yes. Yes, that's it. Go ahead and rub it on your face a little, even in the nostrils to get the "destitute" out. There! Better now?

Now. Stop saying attack ad worthy stuff like "Corporations are people too." You're making it too easy.

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Reader Comments (5)

This man is stupid!

Until the American people realize that these rich corporations became rich because of US...That means that WE must be the ones with the money! We will continue to spin our wheels until we come to that realization!! Yes, I know that I will have to participate with them in some ways, but I can withhold it when possible. I will use and purchase from private individuals whenever possible. If we all started advertising and doing business with private people, believe me, they would take notice. So...I may not be able to aford 5 pairs of foreign made (by slavery and without tariffs) tennis shoes, but I can afford one or two pair made by people in this country. I know, I know...the others are so cute and we just love the idea of cutting our own throats and losing our own jobs on those cheap, poorly made, blood soaked foreign goods. Perhaps we can just eat those shoes when we become desperate or...perhaps we can convince those foreign companies (including American owned ones) to just make them out of something edible or....maybe out of the flesh of the people that they enslave in order to fulfill our pompus needs. Sounds like a great idea to me....How about you?

August 12, 2011 | Registered CommenterTena Whitlock-Burke

corporation bashing is always fun.

August 12, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLOL

mitt romney seems to have forgotten what happened in fall 2008 when the country had to stave off economic freefall due to corporations. That Mitt chooses to sell the noxious belief that corporations are people that do good for all should make middle class voters turn from him in droves. But they won't. They will hand him the shiv to slash their throats.

August 14, 2011 | Unregistered Commenter25thcenturygirl

....standing on a pile of hay... Anybody got a bow and a flaming arrow?

August 15, 2011 | Unregistered Commenternovnova

No but I have a cross-bow for recreational use. LOL
I think Mitt is funny pure comedy and that these elections are all pro-wrestling (fake). So I am just going to eat my popcorn and enjoy the show, while the “elite” pull the strings of these puppets. Mitt looks more like a hand /sock puppet though, because he walks like he is constipated. We live in interesting times.

August 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMary
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