Beyonce Mines Familiar Territory In "Best Thing I Never Had"
Friday, July 8, 2011 at 11:26AM
Beyonce. Still totally over you. Throwing that shit in your face.
Hey Beyonce! Haven't talked about her in a while. Is she still making records? Wait? She is? I hadn't noticed! (Except for the constant TV commercials, video premieres, award show appearances, magazine articles and covers, and surprising school children in a Target store Beyonce dance-a-thon.) I didn't write about "Girls (Who Run the World)" because, unlike most Beyonce music that either I love or fill me with violent lyrical hate, I had no real opinion about it. (The beat was OK. I guess.) But hey! It's a ballad! And she has a voice for ballads! This might not be so bad.
When it comes to Beyonce's ability to produce ballads, I'm usually somewhat disappointed because she never seems interested in showing any vulnerability despite the high technical quality of her voice. Like, she'll belt out Prince's "Beautiful Ones" in concert, but on her own resume, she seems to shy away from songs that don't present her as an invincible super woman who despite being awesome in every way, according to her lyrics, is always dating some awful guy she doesn't miss after she dumps him, showing him that she never needed him anyway. If she weren't Beyonce and just some lady person you knew from church, you'd probably accuse her of "overcompensating," "doth protest too much" and "thinking her shit doesn't stink." But it's Beyonce. With all her money, she's probably figured out a way to make her poop pastel colored with the scent of lavender and House of Deron.
That said, when it comes to her ballad singing ability I still greatly prefer "Halo" over the Kelly Clarkson song that is the exact same song with different lyrics. But, "The Best Thing I Never Had" still suffers from the "OMG, these are terrible lyrics" that many of her ballads suffer from. (Where is Diane Warren, can't they just have her write all the treacly ballads? She's so good at it! Beyonce had her write one song on her album. But they could have had her write a few more. For serious.) Plus, the song's piano theme that repeats under it sounds so much like Bruce Hornsby I keep waiting for him to pop up and start going "That's just the way it is, some things they never change. Beyonce's never going to sing a break up song where she actually misses the guy and feels sad about it."
So, this song is basically "Irreplaceable, Pt. 2" where after throwing the guy out all those years go she met a new guy who was so much better than the old guy and even though it's her wedding to new guy and he's everything old guy wasn't she still wants to sing a pretty ballad to the asshole from "Irreplaceable" who she had to throw out of her house.
I like to believe that all of Beyonce's songs are really a meta-narrative describing the life of an alternative universe Beyonce who instead of being an international superstar, remained in the American South and lived the life of a very pious, highly judgmental Creole debutante who eventually marries the associate pastor of her dreams who eventually becomes head pastor and likes to throw that marriage in the face of the closeted homosexual church music minister who she dumped for the associate pastor during her second year at Spelman. She also likes to flaunt this marriage in front of her ex-best friend and soror who's married to the music minister after the two of them fell out in a power struggle over who would sing lead in the choir. Little does she know that there was that one time at Morehouse between the music minister and the former associate pastor and ... well. You know ... It's complicated.
So, on Beyonce's next album she's TOTALLY going to do a song about dumping the guy she married in this song. It'll be subtly called, "You Were Gay (But I Never Wanted You Anyway)." In that song, somehow, she'll totally be over that guy too and it never really mattered because, secretly, she's a sociopath incapable of love and just likes to collect boyfriends, torture them, sometimes marry them, dump them, then throw the next relationship with the new guy in their faces.
That said, I like the song if you just imagine better lyrics while thinking of my alternative universe storyline. Also, she looks super pretty. And the gold nails are hot. I had my nails painted the same color earlier this summer and fell IN LOVE with how metallics look against my skin. For some reason, metallics just always seem to pop, yet blend so wonderfully on brown skin. If you're any shade of brown you should try it at least once. You may be surprised.
Your thoughts? I mean. It's better than "California King Bed," a song that makes me want to murder people as it has, somehow, even WORSE lyrics. Again, Diane Warren, people. She's not dead. You can totally hire her. Or Babyface*. What's he doing? Tony Rich if you can't afford Babyface. Linda Perry. They're called songwriters for a reason!
UPDATE! Just learned that Babyface was among the seven (!) people who took a stab at writing "You showed your ass and showed me the real you." Since I refuse to believe Babyface wrote that line, I'm going to go with he did his best to make this sound nice despite the fact it was written by committee.
Reader Comments (35)
I couldn't get over my shock seeing Beyonce is the skimpy lingerie to notice the lyrics. Why did she stop wearing clothes?
Funny post. But you know Babyface actually wrote this song, right.
@ Cle
I didn't know Babyface was among the six or seven cooks in the kitchen responsible for this mush. What the hell happened? Did he just produce the melody and everyone played wack-a-mole with the lyrics?
Sayeth Wikipedia: "Best Thing I Never Had" was written by Patrick "J. Que" Smith and co-written and produced by Kenneth "Babyface" Edmonds, Symbolyc One, Caleb McCambell, Atonio Dixon, Knowles and Shea Taylor.
Yeah. I'm going to go with this wasn't Babyface's fault. He was probably doing clean up on a nightmare written by seven people.
Lol, many say he was the main writer, but hey I wasn't in the studio. But you know Babyface writing hasn't been the same since he divorced Tracy!
@ Cle
I refuse to believe! At no point in the song was there a breakdown with some variation of "now there comes a time" or "any time and place" or just the word "time." That can't be a Babyface song! I shant believe it!
Horrible hair...elementary song....the amount of money it took to pay these song writers could have fed a small african country..lol
As a graduate of Spelman and a member of a BGLO, your scenario describing the imbroglio involving the associate pastor, music minister, scorned Creole, and her soror killed me. Thank you for a Friday laugh!
That scenario with the passa, minista of music and sawrars.....lol! sounded like an unpublished E. Lynn Harris book ( may he rest in peace)
Just learned that Babyface was among the seven (!) people who took a stab at writing "You showed your ass and showed me the real you."
I can't. I CAN'T.
I'm usually somewhat disappointed because she never seems interested in showing any vulnerability despite the high technical quality of her voice.
This so much, hence the disconnect I sometimes feel with her ballads.
Thank you for the laugh. That scenario with the pastor and deacon board and choir minister and debutante, lawd, have me chuckling at my desk. Also, that Bruce Hornsby tune is stuck in my head. THANK YOU -_-
How in the world do 7 ppl write a song...just how? I don't believe...there is no way. Here is the real truth...That Patrick baby actually wrote the song and Babyface produced it.....the rest are just members of a production team and well we all know how Beyonce doesn't except a song unless she can change one word to get a writer's credit.
You know all this just speaks to how simple out society is becoming...remember when lyrics had so much meaning to them when there was an actual art to writing a song. Hence why you can listen to a song written back in the day and just be transported to a place and time. Where is that now??? Yes, Danielle I completely agree someone go dust off Diane Warren...hell someone go get Ashford and Simpson now those were some lyrics LOL
Beyonce looks like she's been seeing Michael Jackson's dermatologist.
First off, she looks great in the video and her body is sick. Thats not photoshopped. Anyways, beyonce's attempt to separate her self from herself is really getting in her way. Sasha fierce needs to be killed and she needs to just accept the fact that she is who she is and going to such lengths to preserve a "private-life" are actually hurting the strength of her music. The most powerful songs are the ones where an artist just puts it on the line. If she would work with Linda Perry like Christina Aguilera did she would probably die because I don't think Linda would put up with her detachment and she aint ready to put it all out there. That was the best thing Christina ever did but untill Beyonce just lets go and stops trying to play a role and be in control, The Dream and Ester Dean will continue to churn out the shit.
@Nicole
I'm sure the lyrics mean something to somebody, just not Beyonce, hence the disconnect. Historically a lot of the songs that are believed to be written by one person were actually group efforts but 6 out of 7 were "ghost writers" who sold their claims. Still happens today. However now lables fund writing camps where songwriters are put into groups and brainstorm songs for a specific artist. The number of people listed does not mean that each person contributed that much, coul be just switching a few words around but thats enough for credit. I suppose its neccessary for an artist like Beyonce who really has had very little life experience seeing as she has been sheltered in "pop-star" bootcamp for the first half of her life, and sheltered in popstardom for the second...But she has to have something to say about her daddy and his infant love child...
@somethingsup
Really. The girl is lightskinned, get over it. It is possible to be lightskinned without bleaching. Must every conversation involving a black woman sink down into the abyss of allegations of skin bleaching and booty implants? Thats how you look when you wash off the bronzer and have good lighting...
@novanova
I swear I did not know that was Beyonce in the picture until I started reading the article. I thought it was some random white chick. For real.
Y'all remember how folks used to look at the Off the Wall album and then the Bad album and then the Off the Wall album again and shake their heads? Yeah, I'm looking at the cover of Survivor and then the cover of 4 and then the cover of Survivor again. Somebody used to be brown like Solange but now they're yellow like Tina.
It's getting obvious now, Beyonce. You might wanna chill with that mess. SMH
@ MommieDearest
&
@Kelly
one word....Wireimage
1. Type "Beyonce" in the search
2."sort by" "earliest to latest"
3. Stop playin ya'selves.
4. LOL
@ Danielle Belton
Can I request a post with the many faces of Beyonce where you settle this once and for all so these fools can stop making fools out of them selves? SMH
uh.oh..........musta been novnova's turn to defend Bey's honor (such that it were)!
@Novanova.
YOU get over it. I am a fan of Beyonce and follow her closely. I know what she looks like. Her skin has gotten lighter and lighter. It's not just the lighting. This difference is depicted on TV and in various magazines.
No she did not just say "sucks to be you right now."
This sounds like a song I wrote. When I was 15.
@Danielle: love the story you came up with. I'm gonna go with that. lol
Let's be real, Nova. Beyonce has gotten a nose job and breast implants. That's two very dangerous elective surgeries. ISo it's not like she's all about natural beauty or isn't vain enough to feel the need to surgically change her body. So why wouldn't she doing whatever Diana Ross did to go from chocolate to caramel. I'm light skinned myself and I know all about being different colors depending on the season. But it's the height of summer and she's lighter than she was last winter. When I saw the cover of "4", I thought it was Britney's new album.
It's become obvious that she's lightening her skin.
No one wants to talk about the "husband" in the video. I didn't like him and he looks really young. Beyonce looks gorgeous and I bet if someone is getting over a break up this is their jam because I for one played "Irreplaceable" a whole helluva lot.
as I said...
smh @ novanova
"DE NILE" is a river in Egypt....
Her stans stay in denial. Beyonce has had one or possibly two nose jobs. She's got breast implants. She keeps a California blonde lace front glued to her head, even when she's frolicking on the beach or chilling on a yacht. And yet we're supposed to believe that this woman, who is now noticeably lighter than she was just a few years ago, doesn't have the kind of mindset to want to whiten up her skin? Ok, then.
I don't believe that Beyonce wants to be a white woman. But I do believe she's has a problem with her physical blackness. Obviously.
@ Kelly
The photos don't lie. She's thick redbone, with long hair. accept it. It Beez like that sometimes. Its make up and tanning that makes her look "darker" from time to time. And the hair color. She has a high yellow creole momma and a brown skinned father and she came out caramel, like most with that heritage. I have found that most "light-skinned" folks are not nearly as invested in being "light skinned" as darker skinned people would like to believe. If you bumped into her on the street she would look 2 shades darker in normal light. Its all about lighting. You'd look lighter too if you had photo/video quality lighting shining on you too. There is no need to "defend" her anyways because I am looking at pics from 2000 now where she looks lighter than she does in this video...Getty images. I ain't crazy.