So Psychology Today finds me unattractive. Not that anyone asked their opinion. I'm not linking to the obvious link bait, trolling article that they've since apparently pulled down, but you've probably already had the link emailed, tweeted or Facebooked to you several times today. I realize the article is passing itself off as "science," but why-oh-why is everyone so interested in smacking around black women lately? For a group of women so universally unloved people sure can't seem to stop screwing with us -- both physically and metaphorically.
There are a lot of things wrong with the article, like how it acts like "attractiveness" is "science," and not completely subjective, based on years and years of cultural preferences and societal norms. What humans consider to be "attractive" is truly diverse depending on what ethnicity you are and what time period you're living in. For example, men in high heels and wigs was so hot for dudes in Europe for a very, very long time. Now? I dunno. Maybe if you're Prince.
For me, the only true arbiters of "attractiveness" are -- do you have a somewhat symmetrical face? Do you look healthy? Do you have clear skin? Well, then someone somewhere at sometime probably thought you were attractive. Bonus points if you're somewhat youthful in appearance and/or can afford to keep yourself healthy.
But nooooo. This study is based on people's "opinions." Like, it's my opinion that "The Gold Experience" was Prince's best album of the 1990s. You might like the Symbol Album. Or "Diamonds and Pearls." But there's no scientific way to prove that "Pussy Control" is a better song than "Thunder." And ignoring that we live in a Western society where the "ideal" of beauty for women is long hair, light eyes, light skin, thin noses, high cheekbones and big eyes, is rather ridiculous. People didn't decide they liked that because of "science." I could of swore that came from centuries of what Europeans thought was attractive. I'm sure that if the Chinese or Japanese had been the ones to invade everywhere and make slaves/concubines/colonies out of all of us our idea of what's attractive would be DRAMATICALLY different.
Usually, I find people who say "I just don't find black women attractive, ever. For serious." fall into one of two categories:
1. I am a self-loathing black person who can't stand to look at myself, let alone look at another black person. You remind me of myself or my mother or some other thing about blackness I hate. BE GONE WITH YOU!
2. I am not a black person, but hold certain prejudices about black people ranging from loathing to fear. Even if I was attracted to a black person, I could not admit it as it would force me to confront my prejudices. Also, I'm afraid that even if I DID admit to thinking Shaniqua was cute, she would reject me as I am different from her and she may not find ME attractive.
Now, OF COURSE there are preferences. (Meaning you may prefer the look of white women. But you can prefer this without believing loving Jennifer Aniston is "science." Brad Pitt most certainly didn't find loving her to be science.) Preferences are normal. Some folks like blondes. Some folks like brunettes. Some folks think Daniel Henney is perfection. Some prefer Idris Elba. Some folks like athletic builds, others like curvy. THIS IS NOT ABOUT PREFERENCES! Anyone who tells you they don't find any black person attractive, ever, no matter their level of attractiveness is lying to you. Good looking people are just good looking. It has nothing to do with race. For instance, I could make the argument that I "ordinarily" don't find most white men attractive. But then I also, ordinarily, don't find most black men attractive. Because most people -- black or white -- are just average. Kinda cute, sometimes funny looking, non-descript AVERAGE! White people made both Newt Gingrich AND Brad Pitt yet WHICH ONE WOULD I RATHER MAKE OUT WITH? (Psst. It's not Newt.)
No particular race "owns" attractiveness. All races are fully capable of creating both excruciatingly beautiful and incredibly fugly people. This is what makes attractive people "special." You can look at them and go, "That Rihanna is so good looking I do not care that she cannot sing. Let me go just write her a check right now."
Now maybe Rihanna does nothing for you, but are you REALLY going to convince me that no black woman in the history of black women (ranging from Tamron Hall to Naomi Campbell) is hot to you? And, yeah, in the picky bizarre world of the Internet you can debate whether Beyonce is actually "hot" or not, but if you met a woman who came even remotely close to looking like Beyonce when most people (male and female) are usually just plain average would you, realistically, go "Oh no! Totally not interested in you. I'm sorry. You're brown. Can't do it."
LIES! Even men who complain about how the Williams Sisters aren't "feminine" enough aren't exactly banging Kate Moss every night. Hell. They're not even getting with a chick who looks like Randy Moss. These are guys who would get excited if the semi-cute girl working at Applebee's hit on them. If Serena Williams said "Hey, wanna make out?" they'd probably convert to Jehovah's Witness and start sounding like Tim Wise.
So, again. Being realistic, I'm not attracted to Taye Diggs, but if a regular guy who looked like Taye Diggs came on to me, unless he's a complete jerk, I'll probably be SUPER excited and flattered. Because Taye Diggs is a good looking person even though I always thought Isaiah Washington was much, much hotter. Same for Johnny Depp. Same for Wentworth Miller. Same for Dwayne Johnson. Same for the guy I had the crush on in the seventh grade.
Good looking people are good looking. And preferences are preferences. And "attractiveness" is subjective!