Lauryn Hill Doesn't Care About You And Other Revelations
From New York MagazineI had a lengthy chat with my friend Flyblackchick about singer/songwriter Lauryn Hill and the reaction to her behavior at her recent live shows. Most of the uproar came from her being late, possibly being difficult and being wholly indifferent to anyone's complaints. A lot of people who love Lauryn and her music were upset about this. We both gave it the ol' Kanye shrug. Mostly because, well, she's an artist. Artists, like most human beings, aren't always the most likable, sensible, understanding or grateful people.
And if you've been paying attention, Lauryn Hill's been pretty disinterested in pleasing an audience for years now.
From Flyblackchick:
Lauryn Hill owes you nothing. Lauryn Hill wrote Miseducation as therapy for herself. She didn’t have any one else in mind. Too often people take it upon themselves, to idolize an artist, when they’re only human and have their fair share of issues just like anyone else.
(...)
(S)ome of you need to get over yourselves, and hold on to the memories of why you fell in love with an artist from the start, because god forbid they actually change or show you who they truly are.
Going to see Lauryn Hill is like paying to see Chaka Khan when there's a 50-50 chance she'll take the stage unprepared to perform or will decide to do a show entirely of jazz standards. And having a similar situation with Lauryn Hill may hurt, especially if you've been a fan since Sister Act II, but many performers, actors, artists, musicians, rappers, etc. don't care what you think. Their art, if they're truly artists, was always first and foremost for themselves and you liking it and their ability to make money from it was a great perk. Most performers have the tact to smile, be pleasant, show up on time and, generally, be good business-people.
But Lauryn Hill is pretty upfront that this is about her, so you can either get with that, or just have your memories.
From the New York Times:
Two fans in the front row hand-wrote signs: “You Just Lost One,” “This Is Insulting.” One of the keyboard players taped a reply on his kit: “I Was on Time.” When Ms. Hill finally took the stage a little after midnight — a few minutes after arriving at the club and getting carried over piles of snow on the street, one witness reported — she was primed for a fight.
“Don’t do that. That’s disrespectful,” she told the fans with the signs, motioning with her finger to the exit at the back of the room, where she suggested they go.
To the crowd she was both thankful and indignantly apologetic. “I spent my entire 20s sacrificing my life to give you love. So when I hear people complain, I don’t know what to tell you,” she said. “I personally know I’m worth the wait.”
The thing is, everyone has played a part into feeding into her ego. The fans have explicitly told her for years now that this is about her, her potential, her talent, her power, her voice, her views. When you're in a completely fan-based, one-sided relationship with an uber-talented but quite possibly mentally difficult lyricist, you can't exactly become shocked, SHOCKED, when you find out she never felt the same way about you. Blind devotion or not.
It's kind of like having a huge, pedestal-creating crush on a guy or girl from college or high school. You've loved them from affair. It's time for the reunion. You've fantasized about seeing them again and reintroducing yourself. And then you get to the reunion and the object of your affection had the gall to either A) get fat, B) have X number of kids C) be on their second marriage or D) respond to your hello with "I'm sorry, but who are you again?"
Some are angry because they wasted years on a dream that they'd given a name and that name was Lauryn Hill's triumphant comeback. And they wrote the story before it ever took place, without ever knowing her and held it to their hearts and waited for that day when the dream came to fruition. And even though they'd heard the rumors about her being late for shows, being indifferent, being difficult they thought it would be different with them. But it wasn't. Because it was never about you. It was always about her. She just stopped being polite about it.
She changed while your perception and expectations did not.
And the fans learned an unpleasant truth -- Lauryn Hill doesn't give a shit about you and what you want. And it hurt. But it's not her job to care. You can either buy what she's selling now or you can go wait for Whitney to put down the crack pipe or you can say, "'Ex-Factor' was great, wasn't it?" and go do something else. Is it fair that she doesn't care about you even though you waited in the cold/rain/heat and paid X amount of dollars for her show? No. But, did you enjoy her earlier work, because you still have that. You still have your memories. But if you want the late 90s to return to you and live again in her form, too bad. At 14, I wanted Tevin Campbell to be the next Michael Jackson.
Can't always get what you want.
The 90s are long over. I listen to alternative rock now, only raising my head occasionally to tell Lil Wayne to get off my lawn. I'm not saying you have to stop loving your old copy of "The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill." You just need to know she doesn't owe you a comeback any more than you owe her your time, attention or $75.
This is all about choices and you can choose whether or not to hold on to a pastime dream any time. You never had any control over it anyway.
Side note: And this is coming from a hardcore Prince fan who just kind of ignored him when he went through his "Rainbow Children" phase. It's not like it invalidated all my other (far superior) Prince CDs. Especially the work with The Revolution. Or even his 90s work, which some hated, but I still loved. I just waited until he started back singing his old stuff again and if he never sang his old stuff again, well, I'd be disappointed, but, again. It's not about me.
I still have my copy of the symbol album and "Continental" is the jam.
R&B, hip hop, lauryn hill, music 
Reader Comments (40)
After that 3 hour gap in the show attributed Lauryn getting her nails done @ Rock the Bells this past summer 2010 in Columbia MD, in the blazing heat, .....I will never waste money to see Ms.Hill again.
All points very well taken. Lauryn is free to perform or not perform, drag in late and reconfigure her songs so that they are barely recognizible. She is free to be arrogant and dissmive and I agree, it's her fans that helped create the situation, which is legandarily difficult for child stars. All that being said, her fans are also free to feel insulted by her attitude and refuse to support her anymore. I understand that some people are always late and I understand that artists and mothers have a lot to juggle but 4 hous? That's just disregard for her fans. Personally, I lost hope for Lauryn coming back after Unplugged and the 4th baby. I don't care for her shows or her attitude, it's not like great artists haven't fallen into the "I'll do what I feel like and you better love it" thing before.Look at Sly Stone, Fans got tired and they stopped coming, which prompted him to disappear.Two decades later, he makes appearances to worshiping crowds but that's a long time to figure out how to get it right. And as for Chaka, she has learned. I have seen her consistently over the last three years and she hasn't been late or unprepared She found out that fans will only take so much, no matter how glorious you are.. Maybe Lauryn will l eventually learn too.
@ Orange Star Happy Hunting
Yeah. After I heard about her performances at Rock the Bells I was like "Nope. She's on something I don't care to spend money for." I mean, she's been on that for years now. I kind of checked out after Unplugged and would look her up occasionally just to see if she was doing anything. But the word from the industry was always that she was either not interested in performing or performing but not interested in performing in any sort of audience friendly-way, not recording or recording but not getting along with others, not giving interviews or giving weirdly stunted interviews that upset people. Not to mention what the former members of the Fugees had to say about her when they tried that comeback. Pras was pretty adamant that he would never work with her again.
I don't know her, so I don't know what her damage is. But if she has some mental health issues, this is pretty typical. When you're in emotional, psychological pain it makes you really insular and selfish and you don't care about anyone or anything else because you're so involved with your own pain and anguish. Either that, or she's a raving egomaniac. Which again would point to some issues, but most egomaniacs/narcissists never think they're the problem and find ways to blame others. When they let you down they will have excuse after excuse. It's kind of like dealing with an alcoholic. This is why even though I'm understanding to others with bipolar disorder, because of my own issues, I often can't be friends with someone unless they are serious about their treatment, going to therapy, being accountable and such. There's nothing worse that someone who's so self-involved that they refuse to deal. The relationship ends up with you devoting yourself to them when they are not able to reciprocate. I can hang for a little while. But then things get abusive and you have to walk away. And sometimes walking away will make them get serious about getting help.
Maybe if Lauryn has a show and no one comes, she'll get the point. Maybe she won't.
Either way. You have to let someone like that go since the only thing you can control in the relationship is your response to them.
just a head's up: that photo is via New York</> magazine, not The New Yorker.
@ GD
Thanks. Fixed.
I've also heard rumors saying that lauryn doesn't like her white fan base neither, which I believe makes up the majority of her fan base. It's true that she can be as arrogant and bitchy towards 'the base' if she wants since she's been making the music mostly for herself but to keep it real, she hasn't had a hit since her first album. And she chose to walk away on her own free will. So while the fans share some blame for propping her up on this pedestal as if she's been the greatest ever after really one album, it's not fair for her to ask for their support when she clearly doesn't care. I never understood all the hoopla about artists making comebacks anyway. People like lauryn hill were good for their time and it's good to reminisce about the good ol' days of music. But now with artists out like lil wayne, nikki minaj, and drake, one has to ask what would be their place amongst the newer artists. Still, I never gave into the hype about her even though I like some of her music.
i read the article on the other blog (actually before this one) and honestly the authors whole tone left a bad taste in my mouth. and maybe its me, maybe i'm just not a fan of her style of writing ... anyway moving on ...
danielle i understand your point. really i do. but why does every article i read imply that lauryn hill followers are mindless sheep waiting for her to come and save the world like some sort of super hero?
not all of us worship the ground she walks on (like ms. flah blak chick wants us to believe). did she take a poll? did she speak to every last one of lauryn hills fans? no. she just assumed that we are all mindless drones searching for an answer to life through the words of lauryn hill.
lauryn hill can be an artist or whatever she wants to call herself. i could careless. lauryn hill doesn't owe anyone anything, but but i dont give a damn who she is, she owes her audience ... the mindless drones and the regular people her respect. and to imply that she doesn't is well ... for a lack of a better word ... stupid.
there are plenty of other people, entertainers, artists and others who are put on a pedastool ... that do not blatantly disrespect their followers. why is it so hard to expect lauryn hill to do the same? i'm honestly tired of faux journalists pointing their fingers at the public blaming us, for her lack of disrespect.
it's getting old.
for her lack of *respect
oh and the "faux" journalist comment wasn't directed at you specifically, but to the abundance of people i see on the web, promoting themselves as journalists, when they clearly aren't. anyone can write some bullsh*t and post it online ...
@ aj
I can't speak for my friend, but my point was that Lauryn has disregarded her fans and what others wanted for years now. And stories of her behavior have been going on since Unplugged. So it's more about tempering your expectations. A lot of people were in denial and are just now realizing that they're not going to get back what once was. So there's a lot of shock and anger. It's understandable to be mad. But she, for whatever reason, is not capable of being professional (re: on time) in her performances. So, at this point, it's on fans to either lower their expectations or spend their money elsewhere. Everyone takes being adored and worshiped different ways. This is how it manifested in Lauryn Hill. For every performer who gets it and behaves well, there are tons who are self-involved and have no desire to deal with others needs or wants. It's just how it is. For me, this is about fans accepting the new reality that some were reluctant to deal with. I mean, you can't "make" Lauryn Hill respect you if she doesn't want to. All you can do is disengage.
I think Flyblackchick was directly responding to Lauryn's hardcore fans who were the most deep in denial about her changing. These were people who defended her even after story after story came out about her unreliability. For those who were simply disappointed, there were many who were furious because they'd defended her for years and made excuses.
Welp...Sold out show last night...3 hrs late...show still got great reviews on Village Voice
I think Lauryn Hill is having the best week ever. People can't stop talking about it. Whether it puts money in her pocket, or pageviews on people's sites....it's a win win situation :)
yeah danielle ... i see. maybe she was directing it toward the hardcore fans. it's possible, it was just how she wrote it implied all of lauryn hills fans are this way. and we aren't. there are normal people out here that like her (or love her even), but don't sit at home in front of a lauryn hill shrine waiting for her to rise from the ashes.
i would like to see her. but the closest to dc is jersey. i have heard so many bad reviews i can't bring myself to purchase tickets especially when i know there is a possibility of me being disappointed. and i'm not crazy, deranged or a lunatic ... lol. at least i don't think so.
but if i decide to get some 50.00 tickets for the house of blues in nj, in the standing area (since the seats cost quite a bit more) and ms hill decides to be 3 hours late ... i feel like i would have a right to be upset. not rude, not holding signs, not cursing at lauryn while giving her the middle finger lol ... just upset.
thanks for the response though.
Dear Lauryn: Um sweetie, did you sing for free all those years?
You are a professional musician,meaning you get paid by your fans and record company to do this.You are not the featured soloist in a church choir singing for free every Sunday. Your legendary album went 8x platinum meaning 8 million people BOUGHT your records with their hard-earned money. No one owes you anything. Especially in this economy? Hell yeah I'm going to be upset if you keep me waiting 3 hours and I paid money to see you and supported you by buying records. If you think you're too big to fail, stop by Whitney Houston, Lil Kim, or Toni Braxton's houses(and I could go on) -- they were big in the 90s too, right?
And worst-case, if by chance you had a bad record deal, you still gave birth 5 of Bob Marley's grandchildren, so you and yours won't be hurting for money in your or their lifetimes. However, a lot of people are hurting financially right now, so you need to respect that and act grateful and humble people still want to see you, and did wait 3 hours to see your ass. If Prince walked out on you, that should be a huge wake-up call.
Your Former Fan, Ms_Krista
I think the whole situation is hilarious. buyer beware and keep it moving. I'm just in it for the quotes at this point.
“you trying to escape the bottles and the cups. Next time you take it, you take it like a man. We in this together, brother”.
That was Kayne-esque. lol.
She's been off her rocker ever since she got mixed up with those Marley people. WASTE OF TALENT.
here it is, i don't like her attitude but her music is really good, so while i would never pay money to see her, she figured she doing us a fav, she's got kids wants to be low key and doesn't really make music to make money. Which is exactly as it should be, she probably feels like in order to make $$ she has to sell out and be somebody that the record companys want to see, which is probably why she;s so annoyed all the time, her ego well that's another story. But regardless, i don't think unless she came to my house and did something in appropriate would i stop enjoying her music. she never claimed to be a saint. Just my opinion. If she's a racist, tho- i probably wont support, i mean i'm not down with that no matter what.
I understand that artists are "temperamental" and don't operate on the same plane as the rest of us mere mortals. That's all well and good. But I have to cosign Ms_Kristina. When people are PAYING their hard-earned money for you to entertain them, then you as a professional should show up on time and deliver a good performance. If you are only writing songs, singing songs, painting pictures or whatever-the-heck-it-is-you-do for yourself, then you need to not charge people to see you perform/look at your work. If you are charging people then you need to deliver, period. I went to see Erykah Badu this summer and that heffa showed up over an hour late, and the venue cut off her mic at 11:00 pm sharp because the city's noise ordinance requires it. The venue is an outdoor ampitheatre located in a residential neighborhood. So fans paid FULL PRICE for tickets, but barely got half a show from Badu because she saunters her azz out late. I love Erykah's music, but I will never pay to see her live again. Bottm line, as someone upthread stated, if artists continue to disrespect their fans, then the fans have the choice to stop supporting them. When their pockets get low and the adulation dries up, maybe these disrespectful artists will see the light- Yeah, you are gifted and all, but it ain't always about YOU.
That is why I love Michael Jackson and I will continue to love him. He was very appreciative of his fans and knew how important they were to his and his family's success. That is why even in death fans will continue to honor him and fight for his legacy ie Discovery Channel fooliness. There is nothing like a Michael Jackson fan. Although Lauryn will NEVER be of the calibre of Michael (and now I see why), she could learn a thing or two from the master entertainer. She will never get a piece of my hard earned money.
Any artist who receives compensation for their art has an obligation to be professional in the performance of that art. Otherwise, she could stay at home and sing in the shower. I've always thought she was a bit overrated. Her music started to all sound the same to me.
@wordsmythe112 PREACH!! Once folks want payment for their services, they have to abide by the rules of commerce. Even artists.
Apart from her rudeness Ms Hill - like all performers who make sample based music - never deserved the praise lavished on her in the first place. Sorry but covering Roberta Flack, sampling (and not crediting) Leon Haywood, rehashing an already popular Wu-Tang beat and not crediting the talentless cohorts who helped you do it (which cost her $5m) does not take talent. That's before mentioning a truly painful voice which suffers from such an overdose of vibrato as to suggest she has a high powered sex toy embedded in her larynx. If you believe she can sing then you need to toss any LPs or CDs by Stephanie Mills, Phyllis Hyman, Melba Moore or any other pre 90s singers in the bin because the their true qualities will be loss on you. I'll take Missy Elliott over her anytime.
cosign scribble, I never got what was the big deal about her. Never bought her CD, won't pay to see her in concert. Erykah neither. Now Jill Scott, Maysa, Chaka, Gladys, Patti Labelle, Patti Austin and lets not forget Phoebe Snow, the list of furreal voices is endless. Lauryn (yawn), I'll dust off my Roberta Flack albums and go for the real deal.
That's so unprofessional. If she doesn't want the job, then quit!! When you sell something... anything... people expect to receive what they've purchased. As advertised. It's like buying a loaf of bread but only getting the ends. Unacceptable.
Why do we not hold them to the same level of professionalism?? How many of us would keep a job if we showed up 3 hours late?
In some ways Lauryn is reliving the life of Nina Simone. Simone was not only phenomenally talented but also incredibly temperamental. Her behavior during performances was notorious yet fifty years from now our grandchildren will still be listening to both.
While I'm not an artist, I can understand some of their resentment and anger. You allow people in your life, you bare your soul, you give all of yourself for your art. The audience buys a ticket and think they own you. After a while I would think that can grind you down.
you r so brave ,i think your family must be proud of you ,hope to let life be meaningful