Tiger Woods Is Single, Ladies!
;)
Are you a trashy white woman of a certain stature? (Stature = willingness to do unmentionable things with Tiger Woods and keep yer damn trap shut!) TODAY'S YOUR DAY! Tiger's free now! All it cost him was his dignity, a percentage of his vast fortune, the destruction of his marriage/image and personal humiliation on a massive scale!
God. Why won't you love him anymore, America? He is so, so, so very sorry about making Rachel Uchitel happen. Why won't you forget about her so he can quietly return to having unprotected sex with random white women who may or may not work in bars and local diners?
You are so selfish.
Sayeth Tiger:
We are sad that our marriage is over and we wish each other the very best for the future. While we are no longer married, we are the parents of two wonderful children and their happiness has been, and will always be, of paramount importance to both of us. Once we came to the decision that our marriage was at an end, the primary focus of our amicable discussions has been to ensure their future well-being. The weeks and months ahead will not be easy for them as we adjust to a new family situation, which is why our privacy must be a principal concern.
Personally, I still think he's going about this all wrong. I was of the mindset that when he gave his "apology" he should have said, "I like white girls. So what?" Kicked over the podium, then shouted, "See you at the Masters, bitches." *Drops mic. Walks off stage.* Then he could have emerged as this new, trash talking Darth Tiger. I could have respected that and Charles Barkely would have soooo approved, shaking his head slowly as he mouthed the words "That's turrible," but smiling on the inside.
But that is not what happened.
Instead he got all verklempt and apologized to his fans and sponsors for cheating on his wife, repeatedly, getting caught by his wife, then crashing his vehicle after he and his wife got into a fight over his infidelity. He did this even though the only people he owed an apology to were his wife, kids and my poor father who's had to watch some just plain AWFUL golf since the trashy white women hit the fan.
And, my God. Golf has been turrible. Just TURRIBLE!
Tiger, more than likely, will keep trying to get people to love him as opposed to welcoming their hate and making them choke on it. I mean, they do this in wrestling all the time like when Hulk Hogan went from hero to villain and back again. (Don't ask me why I know this.) And, truth is, there were people who always hated Tiger and have seized on his hilarious horndog failings and had a 10-month hate parade.
This hate is not going anywhere, Eldrick.
You cannot cram those bleached blonde, plastic Silicone Sallies of Sexting back into the bottle. And you can write the ex-wife a nice check to keep her from talking, but there's no going back. Some people are never going to forgive you launching that horrid, star-humping Rachel Uchitel person into the national conversation. So ... I'm just saying, try the darkside for a little while. You can always have a Blasian Buddha Jesus moment later on and renounce your past evil ways (preferably after you're winning again). Take this time to indulge in your true calling -- to be the 1980s Detroit Pistons of golf. Kick some puppies. Curse out reporters. Throat chop Phil Mickelson.
Just don't start hanging out with Isaiah Thomas. Nobody likes Isaiah Thomas.
He's turrible. Just turrible.
Tiger Woods, celebrities, elin woods, golf, sports 
Reader Comments (77)
me no like that pic.. shirt please. this is tuurrrble alright and now two more children from a broken home. tsk tsk smh.
it's what happens when you get married for the wrong reasons, oh well, he's a fool and doesn't like black women, (tiger looking down at a blank check).."so where do i sign?"
I couldn't agree more. Nothing would make me happier than seeing him beat everyone's ass and telling them to suck it.
@ meme
Every time I look at that pic from Vanity Fair I can't believe it. Shirtless? And the skully? Who was the stylist on this shoot? Prison inmate no. 23178-01?
He and others are under a curse for marrying white women. Once he marries a black woman his game will improve. LOL.
"He and others are under a curse for marrying white women. Once he marries a black woman his game will improve. LOL."
Why would ANY black woman with a sane mind want white women's LEFTOVERS? Unfortunately, there are some black women that would jump at the chance. Why would he necessarily want to be with a black woman? He's not black. After all, he said he was a Cablanasian (sp?). His mother is a woman of Asian origin.
Note that in his made up melting pot descriptive term "Cablanasian"...Caucasian comes first :-) So there you have it!
Hahaha! Snob! You are a FOOL with it. (smh) Turrible, just turrible. Thanks for the laugh!
Being mean is not in Tiger's nature. He's a lover not a fighter. Young white women give him his super powers. Just like Rick James needed Tina Marie and drugs to write Fire and Desire. Just like Superman needs the flame from our sun to fly. Put Tiger on the course after a long spring break weekend bender in Vegas and he'll be unbreakable.
I agree Danielle Tiger needs to tell EVERYONE to fuck off and that includes some people making comments. And for your info maybe he came up with Cabilsian was because he was sick of assholes like you harping on his damn race all the damn time!! That goes for you too meme trick please black women certainly didn't give a rat's you know what when you all were TRIPPING over yourselves to defend sleazebucket Bill Clinton or shall I say 'slick Willie'. You damn sure didn't make that distinction then so DON'T make it now just like nobody gives crap to Diana Ross and her endless parade of white males. And please don't bring up that prince guy because most of her ex-husbands were FLAT BROKE bums.
@ sandy, why don't you pump your crazy brakes? Calling folks a-holes, it is not that serious and neither are you, chick.
@Wenzel Dashington:
Bwahahaha! This cracked me up!
It would be so, so entertaining if Tiger went gangsta...but I don't see it in him. Even his leaked voicemail to one of his mistresses (forget which one) was lame. Outside of golf, he has no game.
@elg
Don’t blame the messenger he falls under the curse of Black men and the white woman who marry them. Black women need Black men and their money to help the Black community, so that is why they are willing to accept them back. Don’t you notice that they have all had a run of bad luck it is because they are cursed. It is what it is…. LOL.
Well if it's not then why do people STILL keeping making a big deal about it and look who is talking yea maybe I should save the a-hole word for you Tospaz.
Interesting find on Twitter. What happened to Tiger's signature? *evil laugh*
@darrenrovell1
Why does Tiger Woods' signature all of sudden look like it says "Single Dude"? LOOK AT IT: http://bit.ly/cXKCac
@Mary
Sorry Mary, I agree with elg. If anyone should be upset with his racial preferences it should be his mom. Have you ever even seen him photographed in the same room with an Asian woman? Frankly, I could care less who he or any other Black or mixed with Black man prefers to date.
And dating outside your ethnicity (there's only one race and we all belong to it) will not lead to being cursed.There's no such thing as a curse! Acting a fool and destroying your marriage -- by betraying your spouse and risking both of your lives -- will ruin your life. No "curse" is needed.
I feel bad for him, maybe I should mail him a a ho. Anybody wanna go in on one of dem' Hallmark "Sorry about the divorce, buddy. Better luck next time." Hoes for tiger? They don't cost that much, just a couple of shots of Patron and a pair of Shauna Sands Lucite "FuckMePumps" Stilettos. Maybe a tube of super shiny lip gloss as a bonus.
Ha.
Well then are a LOT of famous men 'acting a fool' who put together don't get even HALF this much venom people need to mind their own damn business.
@Andrea
Believe whatever you want to. But yes there are such things as curses; there is a whole world that you may not know of and I am just making a statement regarding this reality. I don’t personally care who individuals date. But as a whole these men and women are under the curse of Samson and that is why you cannot find one of these couples who are prosperous for very long.
@Wenzel Dashington
you are a plum fool! lmaoooo, that was great...ya'll crazy on here!
http://socialitedreams.wordpress.com
@ Sandy,
Naw, save it for your mom you silly, hyperactive, typo spelling, stuck on caps key (fill in the blanks with whatever names you were called growing up). You get a lil too excited sometimes, hell Tiger's ex probably isn't acting the fool the way you are.
But if you prefer to keep showing the element where you were raised and arguing with yourself, by all means continue.
Funny as hell Danielle. ;-)
i love your take on this. that damn knee-jerk reaction of mine that seems to grow stronger with every online post i read almost kicked in. the post brought back memories of that fat grease ball limbaugh's comment about black women being upset because tiger wasn't bedding any of us. to that all i could say was...fat white boy puhleeze!
i know. i know. i should have never brought that repugnant miscreant up. but i couldn't help myself. i absolutely loathe him.
but anyhoo, i'm liking the throat chop action!!!!!!!!!!!
Tiger is the victim here you guys. Golf's culture doesn't support the dreams of relatively young Black Asian hybrid to hump as many miscellaneous blond car show models and wet t-shirt contest winners as he could fit into the back of his SUV. They want colgate smiles all day every day, not dirty looks and throat chops to the neck. Poor, poor Tiger.
this was hilarious, and so were the comments. LOL!
@Wenzel -- Ultraman needed energy from the Sun. Superman was born with his powers and they are independent of anything except Kryptonite!.
*smh* It's all just turrible....just turrible....