The Accidental Fame of Antoine and Kelly Dodson
Friday, August 20, 2010 at 12:30PM
About two or three weeks ago when a friend first told me about the video of an angry Antoine Dodson on a local TV news report, voicing his concern about his sister Kelly's near rape, I had a hard time wrapping my head around what could possibly be funny about that. I don't find attempted rape or nearly strangling a woman to death funny. And if I'd stumbled upon one of my sisters being attacked I would have responded the same way Antoine did. Then I learned almost all the unintentional humor was derived from the fact that Antoine Dodson didn't relay his anger with stereotypical, black male machismo, but with a certain Southern patois and flamboyance that many people deemed "feminine." So then I was all, "Oh, great. So we're not just making light of a family's pain, but people are cracking gay jokes too? Priceless."
Finally, I learned that from all the attention, subsequent YouTube remixes, iTunes downloads, merchandise and Dodson's new Web site that the Dodsons had made enough money to move out of the projects.
This has to be the most amazing instance of taking the lemons of life and making lemon drop martinis ever.
From ABC.com:
"I want people to realize that this is funny. It is funny -- I'm not going to lie, 'cause we're laughing too. But this is a serious matter," he said. "I really thought that when I went into Kelly's room, he was choking her life out of her. I was terrified. ... It was so crazy. But God allowed me to save her and that's what I did."
Now that three weeks have passed since the alleged assault, Kelly said she enjoys the video and her brother's success. But when she first saw it, she said laughing about it was the last thing she wanted to do.
"When I first seen it, I was very upset about it because they were taking it as a joke and I was feeling like they were not looking at the part where I was the victim," she said. "If Antoine wouldn't came in, I probably would be dead."
I don't know whether to laugh or cry, although the tears would be tears of joy. There's something heartwarming about knowing a brother loves his sister so much that he would take a stand, defend her and keep on defending her no matter what anyone thought. So many times society, especially the media, makes it seem like you have no value if something bad happens to you unless you're a young, preferably blonde, white woman who is also thin and attractive and preferably middle to upper class.
Meaning, if you are not those things and you get near-raped, raped, beaten, near-killed, killed or go missing, CNN will not devote hours of their newscast to finding you. Therefore, all of us who do not look like Blake Lively should probably have someone who really, really loves us, like Antoine loves his sister.
Even though the whole debacle can be seen by some through the lens of "poverty porn," this can also be viewed in another light. A light that by instead of being stoic and polished, the Dodsons actually got more attention for their plight and the issue of crime in poor communities BECAUSE people found the clip unintentionally funny. Antoine's message was received ("Obviously, we have a rapist in Lincoln Park ...") and the community took notice.
Said Kenyatta Cheese of KnowYourMeme.com to NPR:
“Kelly and Antoine may be victims but they are fearless,” Kenyatta told me. “They both take control of the camera and call out their attacker. They issue a call to action telling people in their community to look out for the perpetrator. And yes, Antoine may not seem traditionally articulate, but he uses his time on camera to be performative and create spectacle and that gets our attention. In that sense, he's probably more effective in getting his message out there than a more traditional community 'representative' would ever be.
"To me, Antoine Dodson is brilliant.”
The police, as of this moment, haven't found the man who attacked Kelly. I sincerely hope they do. Not just for the sake of justice, but because no one's safe when there's a guy running about trying to attack and sexually assault people.
Another aspect that people aren't really talking about, is that Antoine Dodson has admitted that he has been the victim of sexual assault himself and that a lot of the people who are his fans were victims too. All drawn to the fact that Antoine and Kelly were standing up for themselves.
Another thing about this story that really struck home for me is that despite the joking name of this site, I don't come from a long-line of well-to-do, uppity folk. My mother is the daughter of sharecroppers. My father is the son of parents who cleaned houses and shined shoes. My family, on both sides, is filled with working class people, most with Southern roots or who are still living in the South. I'm essentially one generation away from picking cotton. My parents were simply fortunate enough that they were able to go to college and get careers that afforded them the life where I was comfortably raised.
My grandmother, who I love fiercely, is not a refined woman. The last time I saw her in person was when I went home to St. Louis for Christmas and I was telling her about my adventures in Washington, D.C. She was proud and she expressed how she wanted to visit, but that she didn't want to meet "Any of the high-falutin' black folks" I was hanging out with. I told her to stop being silly, but she was genuinely afraid that she would unintentionally embarrass me.
"I could see them now," she said in a mocking tone. "THAT woman says she's Danielle's grandmother."
The reality is I'm very proud of my grandmother, of all of my family. They're fighters and they're survivors and they don't take no for an answer. And if you tell them they can't do something they laugh at you and do whatever they wanted to do in the first place. And if you mocked them for being unrefined or poor they just kept on keeping on, because, really? What do you know about them? Other than they sometimes mix up their verb conjugations? They got out of sharecropping the hard way -- they worked their behinds' off and got off that farm kicking and screaming and taking names. My grandmother is the toughest woman with the biggest heart. What she lacks in sophistication she more than makes up in love. My grandmother will fight for you. She fought for her family. She fought for husband. She fought for her kids. She fought for my mom. She fights for me.
I can't laugh at Antoine Dodson because I am Antoine Dodson. People like Antoine Dodson made me. Told me to stay in my books. Told me to be good. Told me to go to college. Told me to be successful and they cheered me on. People like Antoine Dodson love me and would look for me if I ever went missing.
The only difference between him and me is my family could afford to move away to a nice neighborhood, put me in nice schools and put me through college. They could afford to help me make my dreams come true.
He had to wait for accidental fame on YouTube. Who am I to judge that?
So if you purchase and download a copy of the autotuned track "Bed Intruder" on iTunes, half of the money goes to the Dodsons. I really hope their dreams come true. It's a good thing when that happens. Myself and my cousins were my grandparents' dreams. And they always seemed pretty happy about that.
Reader Comments (41)
Well put, sis. Although some of the attention he gets makes me a bit uncomfortable (like while reading the scrolling comments on the side of his ustream video yesterday), I'm glad he was able to draw attention to the problems in the area that his family lives in. Apparently, sexual assault is big in that area and the local authorities don't seem to be doing anything about it.
I really hope they catch that rapist.
@ Alica
Believe me, it makes me uncomfortable too. I just hate that people are making light of their pain. But at least they're getting something out of it.
The sexual assault of women of color is often glossed over as unimportant and trivial. And even though Dodson's angry speech may strike some as comical, he was relating a very true and unfortunate message: Black women, especially in low-income areas, are subject to sexual predation and intimidation. Too often the plight of women of color gets twisted into something funny or dismissed as untrue. Hopefully we can use this as an opportunity to open up conversation about rape and assault in communities of color.
people are making fun of dodson's mannerisms and way of communicating. not the situation.
Wow, I'm happy that the publicity is ultimately freeing a family (at least potentially) from poverty the projects. I too, had a few Antoine's in my family who encouraged me too.
This man is two words from stardom. Tyler Perry.
I'm proud of Antoine for protecting his sister. I was a little worried when all these songs came out that the Dodson family was not profiting from it but now I see that they are and I hope they are able to use this opportunity to improve their situation and draw attention to violence against black women.
wow, that's really good to hear that at least they are making enough money to leave the projects and I hope that they can STAY out of the projects. Don't spend the money on rims or foolishness, get an actual better life! Godspeed
http://socialitedreams.wordpress.com
Awesome article, Danielle.
This whole thing is conflicting for me but it's not about how Antoine communicated his anger. It's great his family is making money to move forwards. But I still hate that the result of the attack on Kelly is cause for comedy. Is this how we have to do it to bring attention to our pain? A Black college marching band is performing this song; why are we the one group of people guaranteed to join lockstep for entertainment purposes? WTH wants to sing along with the lyrics 'they trying to rape errbody out here'--maybe because i have so many friends who are rape and incest survivors (two have been gang raped by strangers), i can't even find this accidentally funny. And trust, this won't be the catalyst for conversation about women of color being assaulted, it's merely a stand alone where Kelly is fortunate enough to have a flamboyant, charismatic brother who loves her fiercely enough to not care what people think about him.
No lie, this article made me tear up a little bit. Great work
This was a great article. Now that I know that Antoine and his family are getting 50% of the proceeds from the Bed Intruder, I will definitely buy it. I was abstaining because I thought that people were just profiting from the Dodson's misfortune.
Thank you for this wonderful article Danielle. I am proud of this young man. He is obviously comfortable in his skin because he has the love and support of is family. When his sister needed him, he demonstrated how much she meant to him. I would give up many things to replace my middle-class, somewhat dysfunctional family for the love in his.
May God continue to bless that young man.
Oh, by-the-way, I hope he enjoys every penny of his money the way he deems fit. I didn't give it to him, so I can't tell him how he should spend it. From what I see, he appears to be a logical young man with his family on his mind first. I'm confident they will be well taken care of.
I'm buying "Bed Intruder" :-) it makes me smile and Lord knows it's about the Dodsons...seeing how much I hate Autotone and just about all recent hip-hop/rap.
Almost as funny as "The Best Cry ever" auto-tuned remix from that Intervention show. You must google it or check it on youtube, priceless.
I did purchase the song on itunes when I read that half of the proceeds go to him.
Antoine mentioned that he was studying business and that he's still working towards that given his new found fame. It would be awesome if he completes his studies & uses his accidental fame to help others. Antonine Dodson Special Victims Unit sounds good to me.
Good for Antoine that is a man defending his sister, earning money for his family and speaking up for his community.
As a fellow, Huntsvillian as Antoine. He is putting Huntsville, AL on the map. Nevermind that the city was already known as the Rocket City and having one of the highest concentration of PhDs. Kudos to him and his family.
When someone sent the link to me a few weeks ago, I watched it twice trying to decipher what all the fuss was about. I could hardly understand him and I didn't think it was funny. The whole thing is pitiful to me.
I applaud Antoine and Kelly for taking control of a situation instead of letting the situation control them.
AMEN, AMEN, AND MORE AMENS....This post is so awesome!!! I am in the mood of missing my mother and grandmother. My grandmother had her act together also. We have been Southerners from way back, when other relatives moved up North to the Midwest area for better jobs. I enjoyed your honesty, it was so refreshing, to hear.
Lovely post; I agree.
But one thing that struck me right off the bat was that this should be news in the first place. As a woman deeply interested in domestic abuse and violence against women, and as a former journalist, I have to admit, it surprised me that they would send a camera crew out to investigate an attempted rape and break in. All you have to do is look at stats about how much violence against women is perpetuated every day -- how many women are killed by spouses and lovers Every Single Day -- and how little attention violence against black women in particular usually receives -- to see that this is interesting in and of itself. Hopeful? A good sign? Or just a slow news day in a small market?
It's also worth considering the nature of flamboyancy in the first place. I have a cousin like Antoine; we love him to death but after I grew up and met a wider variety of gay men I stopped associating flamboyancy with homosexuality and just started associating it with certain personality types. So although all the issues of race and class and upward mobility and the white gaze and poverty porn etc etc are at work here, so is something both simpler and more complex, which is why flamboyant personalities develop as such in the first place. It's reasonable to assume it's a way of gaining attention, of asking to be made visible instead of invisible. Had Antoine expressed what happened less flamboyantly, had he even spoken (or maybe he did but they didn't show it) the heartfelt, eloquent, deeply human and coherent feelings he did later ("I thought he was choking the life out of her" "I was really terrified") I wonder if people would have been laughing so much ......
But these are side issues. Here's to the Dodson family. Long may they love and high may they rise.
Thanks for a great post, Danielle. I'm so proud of Antoine Dodson for his fierce defense of his sister and for making "lemon drop martinis" out of this situation. But perhaps I'm most proud of him not hiding - verbally or behaviorally - the fact that he's a gay man who, like so many of us, is ferociously dedicated to his family's well-being. People may snicker at AD being "flamboyant," but does that lessen the validity of his messages? I have one thing to say to Antoine: "WORRRK!"
cosign cedric, I am so glad they are able to leave their circumstances. I think this should remind people that a gay man is still a MAN! Regardless of how flamboyantly he acts, he still responded like a man when his family was in danger. So I hope it clarifies some of the stereotype about gay men. I have at least two gay male friends who could and would f**k someone up if they tried to hurt me, because despite however they express themselves, they are socialized to protect and defend women. Go Antoine, I am going to download this on my ipod.
Oh, just got back from Jamaica and even over there they heard about this and the song.
Great article!
Young man Dodson seems intelligent and we already know he's fearless. Great to see a Black man defending Black womanhood for a change! Everyone no matter what color should be blessed to have such a loving brother.
Whenever I'm in the company of my brother, I don't have to fear for anything. I marvel at the way he loves and respects and PROTECTS his daughter.
Continued blessings for the Dodson family!