Dr. Laura Wants To Know Why She Can't Use the N-Word
Friday, August 13, 2010 at 10:00AM
Dr. Laura SchlessingerSo some woman with a syndicated radio show who I didn't realize still had a radio show because she is that inconsequential to me said the "N-word" six times on the radio. She was frustrated because some poor woman looking for advice claimed that she was in an interracial marriage and wanted to know what she could do about her husband's friends and family being racially insensitive. Apparently, they liked to use the N-word and such around her and Dr. Laura got all kinds of "get over it" because that's just what you're supposed to expect if you marry outside your race. You DESERVE all the racist hell relatives unleash on you (according to Dr. Laura). You're asking for it and just like wearing a miniskirt is an invitation for rape: White people can't help but be racist towards you. You're black! (Per Dr. Laura) So why so serious? Why on Earth would she find a racially loaded pejorative so inflammatory? It was almost like she expected people to respect her as a human being.
Black people, I swear. What's with this whole "demanding respect" thing? That is so racist. Why are you black people always pointing out that foot on your neck? It's just trying to give you a massage! Ungrateful!
If only this woman, who had the nerve to get offended when Dr. Laura started throwing the N-word around, would heed this marvelous advice:
If you're that hypersensitive about color and don't have a sense of humor, don't marry out of your race. If you're going to marry out of your race, people are going to say, "OK, what do blacks think? What do whites think? What do Jews think? What do Catholics think?" Of course there isn't a one-think per se. But in general there's "think."
And what I just heard from Jade is a lot of what I hear from black-think -- and it's really distressting [sic] and disturbing. And to put it in its context, she said the N-word, and I said, on HBO, listening to black comics, you hear "nigger, nigger, nigger." I didn't call anybody a nigger. Nice try, Jade. Actually, sucky try.
Need a sense of humor, sense of humor -- and answer the question. When somebody says, "What do blacks think?" say, "This is what I think. This is what I read that if you take a poll the majority of blacks think this." Answer the question and discuss the issue. It's like we can't discuss anything without saying there's -isms?
We have to be able to discuss these things. We're people -- goodness gracious me. Ah -- hypersensitivity, OK, which is being bred by black activists. I really thought that once we had a black president, the attempt to demonize whites hating blacks would stop, but it seems to have grown, and I don't get it. Yes, I do. It's all about power. I do get it. It's all about power and that's sad because what should be in power is not power or righteousness to do good -- that should be the greatest power.
Damn. Why y'all got to be so sensitive? We have a black president now. Don't you know that because of Obama the N-word isn't bad anymore?
I mean, why would the N-word, something that was used for hundreds of years to belittle and dehumanize black people, be BAD now? Yet when fancy entertainment-based black on the HBO people use the word it's all "look at how hip and edgy I am." Why can't Dr. Laura be hip and edgy when she uses it too? It's almost like black people use the word as a way to take the power back from it being hurtful and twist into some ironic parody. God. THAT IS SO CONFUSING to Dr. Laura. It's like when Dr. Laura watches "GoodFellas" she wonders why the Italians and Irish mobsters can call each other WOPs, micks and guineas, but if she did the same they would shoot her. Or how gays will adopt the words queer and fag. What's up with that? Those are Dr. Laura's words! You can't just take them and switch 'em up for your own use! It's almost like different cultures appropriate words created to hurt them, then fling them around as a humorous commentary on society's prejudices. That's sooo not fair.
I've always seen this whole "why can black people say the N-word, but white people can't" argument as pathetic. The N-word, the word "nigger," is a pejorative that has never been acceptable in polite society. You don't roll up and drop the N-word in a job interview. You don't use it when you meet the President. You don't fling it around at church. You don't work it into your wedding vows. You don't name your daughter "Niggorita." I mean, c'mon. You just don't do these things no matter if your white or black because the word is offensive. But I also always say that ANYONE can use the N-word if they wish, they just have to be willing to accept the consequences.
Yet that's always the problem, isn't it? Everyone wants to say it, but no one wants to pay the price if an offensive word offends someone.
The reality about the N-word is that's never really appropriate for anyone to say. Black people use it at their own peril because for every black person who is fine with the word you have someone like my mother who will go off. She doesn't use the word and hates it. She doesn't like to hear it no matter who is saying it. The N-word is controversial among black people as a whole. But if you go around basing all your knowledge on African American culture from Chris Rock routines and Lil Wayne records you are going to face a lot of "consequences" in your quest for racial acceptance. Because comedians and musicians are "artists" and artists are known for pushing the boundaries of things. Appropriating pejoratives for laughs, creativity and shock value is kind of a thing that they do. Last time I checked though, Dr. Laura was not a slam poet named Naima Shabazz and the context was not an academic discussion of the film "Birth of A Nation."
Nope. She was just telling some black woman that she should let her husband's friends and family use the N-word around her and disrespect her because if she doesn't she's being a hypersensitive wet blanket and that is so awful, y'all. Why won't you let Dr. Laura disrespect you? To take a offense at her offensiveness is so rude. Because, you know, when folks use the C-word or call her a bitch to her face she laughs because women use these words sometimes towards each other out of jest and they're NEVER with malice. She's not a sore thumb like you, Negroes. She can take her "hateful bitches" and just roll with them. And why wouldn't she want to be compared to a female canine in heat?
Everyone loves dogs. Calling Dr. Laura a bitch is just a fancy way to say "Jesus loves all the little creatures of the world."
Reader Comments (77)
very well put, this perra dr laura does not deserve one more second of airtime- hopefull this is the nail in her
cracker box coffin of a career
I have to admit, i laughed very hard reading this post. Snob you pretty good at this blog thing. LOL I've told everyone
(i know) about you so hopefully more minds will be opened. Oh Yeah, Laura " Shut the F*** Up! Peace
Don't make me find those nekkid pictures of Dr. Laura now! I imagine she'd prolly be offended (just like her black listener!). I certainly was. Took me two weeks to recover.
Preach Danielle!
Been waiting for this post all morning Snob and you didn’t disappoint! "Niggorita", Snob? Tha'ts golden!
By now I’m over this. I’m over this whole contrived ‘post-racial’ America crap. I’m over the focus being just on the word and not that fact that she told a woman to deal with being belittled by racist remarks, in her own house.
Sidenote: Do they still show comics on HBO? I’m assuming she’s talking about Def Comdey Jam. Didn’t that go off years ago?
1) Dr Laura is a nutcase. Your opening sentence was absolutely accurate - she is inconsequential.
2) Your mom is right. I appreciate that the black community initially appropriated the word to take ownership over it, but I think maybe at this point, it's doing more harm than good. It's polarizing, ugly, and gives nutcases like Dr. Laura an argument, weak and feeble though it may be, that it's still kinda ok to use it. However, I am not black and so it's not really up to me in any way how the black community chooses to use this word. But they should probably listen to your mom.
3) That being said, during the course of an academic conversation about the use and history of the word, I find it beyond childish to refer to it as "the N-word." Is everyone 10 years old? Of course the word should never be directed to anyone, or used in casual conversation, and should be uttered in only the most careful way. But if I were discussing the history of the word fag, I would just say fag. For example, I could say "The word fag is extremely offensive." But I would be expected to say, "The N-word is extremely offensive." Like I'm 12 and I think my mom is listening. Like saying the word, not as an insult, not as pejorative, but just as a word that exists in the English language, is itself some sort dark magic that will cause cities to crumble. That is, in my opinion, when people are excessively sensitive
Funny commentary. Dr. Laura was like shooting fish in a barrel today, though. She deserved it. I hope she's taken off the air.
Best part of Dr. Laura's harangue is when she told Jade, "Don't try to NAACP me!" That was the biggest clue proving that Dr. Laura is not only racist, but that she is stuck in 'bout 1968, the last year that the nation's oldest civil rights org had any real juice.
Just sayin'.
Dr. Laura is a C.U.N.T.... a bitter, old, home-wrecking, wrinkled, sun-damaged C.U.N.T! I would write something profound but instead I prefer to sling mud. Why? Because it BE's like that sometime. && to the caller who found it necessary to seek out this old bat for advice, I am in utter shock. You can look at this broads background and see that she is in no way fit to give life experience advice. First and foremost, you know that its wrong for them to say the N-Word and if your husband had some BALLS you wouldn't need Dr. Laura Sesspools advice. If you can't count on him to either make his family show a little respect, what do you think this old hag is gonna say to make it right?? Gurrrl, your best bet is to cut your losses and find a man who will support you and at minimum has some hair on his pair.
BTW, GREAT blog post. Ugh so DONE!
I don't believe anyone, white or black, should use the "N-word" in a nonhistorical or nondramatic context. The use of it by blacks shows a severe ignorance of history and it gives white racists an excuse to throw around a racial epithet while playing cute.
But this woman is an insensitive ___ and needs to go.
*Slow hand clap* I haven't heard the entire exchange. I'm wondering if she told the woman that her husband should be stepping in correcting his friends and family. To me, somewhere down the line, he and she let them believe this was OK. But I'm putting more of the weight on the husband. Oh wait, this was about the Dr. chick not about the very real problem that when some racist stuff is going down we all have to be willing to check our friends and family?
Good article.
I think this animated short on the use of racially charged words is something "Doctor" Laura needs to see. If kids can get it...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5vYafJ5PmQg
For me, the most pathetic thing re:her comment about Black men using it all the time does not just apply to lazy comedians. Here in nyc, it's rare to see a group of Black male teenagers who can put two sentences together without using nigga as either an insult, proper pronoun, or term of endearment. These lively exchanges are often on crowded Manhattan subway trains during rush hour, and i want to disappear under my seat. I'm with Snob's mother--I have a major problem with that word. It's a problem when you see Asian kids call each other nigga then look right past middle aged or elderly Black people like it ain't no thing.
and yeah like someone else noted, why call a talk radio show if your in-laws racially insult you? Someone that stupid did not really deserve any respect from Dr. Leather Face, imho.
The so called Dr. Laura is just trying to create controversy and should be ignored. She has proven herself to be stupid enough to be dangerous.
What's funny is how African-Americans get so riled up when "inconsequential" whiteys piss them off. That is hilarious. But that's besides the point - the point Dr. Laura was making and always makes is that people should exercise personal responsibility. If the caller cannot make her husband and his relatives stop using the "N" word then she should get used to it or divorce the bugger because he used the "N" word before se married him and she knew it. The only difference being that before she got the ring on the finger, it was cute and endearing ...
"It's like when Dr. Laura watches "GoodFellas" she wonders why the Italians and Irish mobsters can call each other WOPs, micks and guineas, but if she did the same they would shoot her. "
THIS! Bury me because I just died laughing.
I just listened to the full radio broadcast and Dr. Laura is purely ignorant. I think that if she was intelligent that she wouldn't have reacted as a racist woman who is fed up with not being able to use the word. This woman called her for help and she just went off on some tangent about how black people are too sensitive and why are they the only ones able to use the word. GTFOH! I'm pretty sure this isn't the first time she's said something ignorant on the radio but this will surely be the last time she says something foolish again
I probably shouldn't, but is friday so what the hell.
Kiama, honey I think you might be on the wrong blog. The BlackSnob is an "African-American" and so are most of her readers, so you may want to reign in that sarcastic "you people" tone just a bit.
I was more upset about the advice she gave the woman than her using the dreaded N-word. If Nigger is so offensive even when used in a non-aggressive context, then why do we justlfy calling each other the word? It ending with GA or ER doesn't matter to me.
I don't think it's racist for a non-black person to discuss the word. The issue should be about the usage of the word. Using the word and talking about the word are two totally different things. I guess the question is what are we really offended by?
Not to further make light of the Dr. Laura controversy, but, I just had to share:
http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=815
Kaima, I have to agree with Mrs T, the woman called up to talk through her issues not to listen to some faux post racial diatribe! She is the victim, what happened to the caller was shocking and unspeakable.
I thought Dr. Laura unhelpful, insensitive and gave very poor advice. Based on the one and only glimpse I got of her radio show (this incident) I will not ever listen again. Further, my question to any white or non-black person: why would you ever want to use the N-word? The argument FOR using the n-word is in itself racist.
sorry for the quick double post, but
@ Kaima----what is so gosh darn funny about Black people discussing yet another bitter, incompetent racist d-bag who has access to the airwaves? And look around the blogosphere; it's not just Black people who are saying she was out of line and should have been put out to pasture long ago.
And in case i missed it here, but did someone actually use the word "whitey" on Snob's post, or is that your attempt to imply that Black people also refer to Whites as racial names, so what's the big deal? But i agree with you about the caller Jade, how could she not know how lame her White husband is before she married him.
I was pretty offended when Dr. Laura said that a lot of blacks voted for Obama just because he's half Black. Like black people have been voting Democratic for years.
Whoops! haven't been voting Democratic for years.