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Friday
Jun112010

The Curious Case of Alvin Greene

It's like the Manchurian candidate, but instead of blaming North Koreans people are running around screaming "It's a GOP plant!" But, wait? What? And more importantly, why? Yet here this guy is, winning a Democratic Primary, all Alicia Keys-style, singing "You don't know my name" because ... Alvin Greene didn't campaign. And there were no yard signs. Heh. Heh. Huh? Sounds like a c-o-n-spiracy, y'all!

More after the jump.

Once when I was in high school I ran for student council, but didn't campaign and didn't put up any posters. Heck. I didn't even really tell anyone I was running. Why I did this, I could not really explain. (Fear of trying and then being rejected probably had something to do with it.) But I didn't win.

Alvin Greene, mystery candidate for Senate in South Carolina, managed to pull this off running, stealth-style, on the Democratic ticket. He's unemployed. He's a veteran. And he's getting his 15 minutes of head scratching fame. He beat out a better known, better qualified candidate (re: the other guy actually may have campaigned), so now Rep. James Clyburn is all "investigation please!" (Clyburn is actually suspicious over quite a few South Carolina races) and Greene is giving head-scratching interviews to everyone from The Washington Post to The Root to Countdown with Keith Olbermann. But most people just want to know who on earth is this guy and who actually voted for him.

Sayeth Greene to The Washington Post:

"I'm the Democratic Party nominee," Greene says in the interview at his father's home on a lonely stretch of rural highway in central South Carolina. "The people have spoken. The people of South Carolina have spoken. The people of South Carolina have spoken. We have to be pro-South Carolina. The people of South Carolina have spoken. We have to be pro-South Carolina."

Oh. And he's been charged with a felony for being a pervert and the South Carolina Democratic Party is all, "WITHDRAW YOUR NAME FROM THE CAMPAIGN!" But he's like, in it to win it, or something, so ... where's Frank Sinatra (or the in case of the lesser remake ... Denzel) when you need him?

Post your theories as to WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING HERE in the comments. I have my own theories (He's a plant! He's a Cylon! He was sent from the future by Skynet to kill John Connor when Connor runs for vice president on the 2032 Malia Obama/John Connor ticket! It's the prophecized "Immaculate Candidacy" and God must have got him that 60 percent of the vote!) But I'm sure your theories will be much, much more promising.

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Reader Comments (39)

I'm going to be real and just say,

"What the hell?"

I'm completely confused by this situation. I mean, I "ran" as a county delegate in my state, did no campaigning and I won, but I really didn't have any competition (read: ANY competition). He "ran" for Senate and received the nomination by the vote of the people??!!

Again, "What the hell?"

June 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterA.C. Ford

Somewhere in South Carolina there is a dog that's refusing to hunt. This is fishier than the oil covered tuna dying along the Gulf Coast.

June 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMr. Noface

Its a real-life remake of Trading Places, except this time, the Duke Brother's first names are Bo and Luke instead of Mortimer and Randolph, the wager is $10,500 instead of a dollar, and for whatever reason, these two good ole boys with money to burn have decided to teach Vic Rawls a lesson.

I'd like to say that I'm making this up, but it is one of many theories circulating around the end of the SC political blogosphere inhabited by former or current journalists who seem to be dead serious that it could be some "rich freakshow" who is just having some fun.

Nothing like my home state, from the famous paper bags full of "walking around money" that never seems to make it to the street to the "vote early and vote often" mantra that some take literally.

Oh well.

June 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBrown Man

Also, Alvin may not have any money, but his father probably does - retired government employees in small southern towns can tuck away surprising amount of cash, mostly because there is nothing to buy and they usually haave paaid off their homes years ago.

No idea where this is headed, but with Alvin's father's history as a local mover and shaker himself, maybe this is his way to say "fuck you" to the Democratic establishment before he dies.

June 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBrown Man

Sounds like some old fixed bait and switch the electronic vote Southern Republican hospitality tricks to me! WTH! Who is this man? No one in the Democratic Party ever heard of him??? I should have high tailed it to SC and ran for office! Rep. Clyburn will surely serve up a big can of asswhip on somebody in SC!

June 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSavvybroad

I'm still struggling to pick my jaw off the floor from watching the Olbermann interview last night.

Seriously, this guy actually makes GW Bush and Sarah Palin look good. And how freaking sad is that? I've never seen a more painful piece of television. "Deer caught in the headlights" doesn't quite cut it with this guy. He literally had absolutely nothing to say. At least Bush and Palin fill the emptiness by blabbing on about nonsense. Greene can't even manage that!!!

I really hope he turns out to be a plant of some kind. If he isn't, that's terrifying. Clyburn better get his wish for an investigation.

June 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMarbles

if this guy is really a plant, how stupid are the voters who were fooled by it?

June 11, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterswiv

You heard the man, "60% of the vote is a decisive WINS..."

song currently stuck in my head: "hold it down" - 4hero

June 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBaye Kambui

I live in SC and i love this story! It was on the front page of the paper today and no one in Greene's home town seemed to even know him...except one lady who said he was her student in high school. SC has such bull***t politics that something this crazy/shady shouldn't be too much of a surprise.

June 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAngela

Like Woody Allen said, 80% of life is just showing up.

June 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDavid Wise

I don't know whether I should laugh, cry or be outraged. I haven't gotten past the laughing part yet; except that I sense there is something sinister behind this sham and this dude is being played for a major patsy. Plus, he seems several cards short of a full deck. It's almost cruel.

June 12, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterdkan71

Doesn't South Carolina use electronic voting machines? If the Democratic party does not investigate this, then they're idiots.

June 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCrystal

SC primaries are open according to this video, so republicans most likely voted him for him. I felt sad for Mr. Greene he looks scared/confused, and the person cuing him off screen was not helping (but I suppose that might be the plan). If they (be they Rep, Dem, Ind, Lib or whoever) are using him that ought to be ashamed of themselves.

The Dem's just need to run qualified candidates as Independents and then switch back to the party when they win the election. Clyburn should investigate but the party needs to focus on the general election this is a distraction that needs to be put on the back burner. The Dem party shouldn't t concentrate on it because it will take years for any investigation, charges and the fines/punishments to be handed out.

June 12, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterazul

If it is all that easy I am going to run for office. LOL

June 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMary

If it is all that easy I am going to run for office. LOL

June 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMary

Oh my, curious indeed. But there has to be a money trail.

How will he operate in weeks to come? We will see.

Mr. Greene looked like a stunned deer in the K. Oberman interview.

It looked like a scene from "Being There" the old J. Kosinski film, except Mr. Greene didn't say anything that could mistakenly have been perceived as profound.

June 12, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterknockoutchick

THIS MAN is NOT STUPID, he has recieved FOUR MEDAL'S from the ARMY, his SPECIALTY was INTELLIGENCE!
don't know what's going on, but, if DEMENT knew it was a THIRTY TWO YEAR OLD BLACK MAN ,RUNNING in the DEMOCRATIC ELECTION, he would have tried to DEMOLISH him before the CAMPAIGN!

MR, GREENE is COLLEGE EDUCATED, he went to college for POLITICAL SCIENCE, and another thing, I wonder how DEEP his POLITCAL DEPTH is? NOTICE he had on a GREEN TEA SHIRT,in one enterveiw! A SUIT with a GREENE NECKTIE in another enterview! who is to say, he did NOT hold CAMPAIGN MEETING'S in SECRET PLACE'S, you mean to tell me, ALL those people that, voted for him, DIDN'T KNOW THIS MAN!

June 12, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterbebe

@bebe I agree, it is wrong to question this college educated decorated Black veterans intelligence, based on this video. However it is strange that he won without the normal establishment backing. Although there is backlash against establishment candidates right now and many citizens have decided to vote for anyone who is not a known or incumbent candidate in protest.

June 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMary

I find it absurd that people are defending Alvin Greene by saying he is a veteran and has a college degree. And...? These qualifications become irrelevant if the guy doesn't have any substantial political points to make.

Greene is clearly a Republican plant. The Republicans did it to McKinney and they're doing it again. There should absolutely be an investigation.

June 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCJ

@TJ He is being defended because it is disrespectful to insult the man by questioning his intelligence. There needs to be an investigation, but there is no reason to defame a Black veterans intelligence or character in the process with no actual evidence.

June 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMary

CURIOUS Southern C******* are Satanic...Just Like Their Forefathers who Raped Numerous African WOMEN - Yuck says The Snob - Wink!

June 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWILLIE LYNCH

I live in Australia.

Not much scares me, I have to kill hand sized spiders with my hand because I haven't gotten around to buying more fly spray.

I'm FRIGHTENED of this whole debacle and I can't remember ever being this scared.

What if this guy lucks his way to the presidency................... holy sh*t.

June 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGarry

Ok, I am so embarrassed. I live right here in South Carolina and I have no idea what this is about. Talk to you guys later, I have to go do my research *walks out of room-embarrassed*

June 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStacy Australia

@Bebe,

Lets step back a bit from all these claims you are making about Alvin Greene's military background, because nothing that you wrote has been verified or substantiated with relevant military documents.

I've read that Greene was a supply clerk. What exactly were those medals for that Greene received? What sort of discharge does Alvin Greene have? Greene himself hinted in one of his many rambling interviews that his discharge was less than fully honorable. Lastly, what was Greene's rank while he in the military?

While it's not impossible to save up $10,400.00 for 2 years to run for the Senate. I find it very interesting that Alvin Greene is on unemployment benefits and has the services of a public defender in his felony sex charge. Now perhaps SC is a bit different in how they go about determining who qualifies for unemployment benefits, but most states require that a person fully disclose whatever income or savings they have, before they can start receiving benefits. It will be interesting to see if the state of SC decides to go after Greene with possible fraud charges.

I grew up the daughter of a career senior NCO and I also served 7 years in the US Army. I fully honor our Vets, but until we know the full extent of Greene's military service, I'm not going to be defending his record as yet.

June 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBrendaKay

Well my parents confessed this weekend to being the "stupid voters" (my mom's words) that chose Greene because his name was on the top of the ticket. Because they were from the upper state they had no idea who Victor Rawls was either so they chose the first one. My mom said she knows more people that did the same thing, black and white.

My other theory is that he had a huge black vote because his last name ends "e". The "Greene" spelling is more common among blacks and since SC has a huge black population that helped. If only they could've been as smart as my friend's mom. She figured he was black because of his name but voted for the other guy because it's fishy when a black guy is running in politics and no one has heard of him (none of the established black organizations mentioned his name before the election).

If he were plant it's because SC republicans are tired of being laughed out by themselves. Jim Demint was never close to losing his seat so it didn't matter who won the Democratic ticket.

June 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMonP
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