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Sunday
May022010

Lazy Link Sunday: Bomb Scares, Halle's Single and the Dull Return of the Alleged Obama Mistress

It's Sunday so you know what I'm doing -- BRUNCHING! But the news doesn't stop just because I'm tipsy on Mimosas! Here's a round-up of things I've been keeping an eye on ...

More after the jump.

People continue to try to blow up parts of New York. Times Square has reopened after a failed car bombing attempt Saturday night. A local vendor spotted the suspicious vehicle that was loaded with propane, gasoline and fireworks, but failed to detonate. (Reuters)

Dudes, if your dream is to become second fiddle to the radiance that is actress/cosmetics spokeswoman Halle Berry, here's your chance. After five years she and Canadian fashion model Gabriel Aubry are dunzo. Rumor has it it has something to do with their age difference (nine years) and him being with the hottest woman in the world, yet still desiring to look at other hot women. (Tricky how that is!) At least he had the decency to call it quits rather than go catting around town behind her back like some other folks who shall remain nameless. As the song goes, if your heart isn't it ... Favorite quip about the break-up from Gawker's Adrian Chen: "How cocky is this guy, getting with Halle Berry and then being like: 'Yeah, she's Halle Berry... but what about all those women who aren't Halle Berry?'" (Radar)

The White House Correspondent's Dinner was this weekend, aka "Nerd Prom." One day, I swears, I'm gonna crash that thing! If Kim Kardashian can show up looking all waxy there's got to be some room for a Snob up in there. Watch some video highlights at the link. (Gawker)

Millions of folks hit the streets nationwide as part of May Day rallies protesting Arizona's tough new anti-immigration law that gives police the ability to detain anyone who looks "illegal." (Washington Post)

The National Enquirer got all amped over the weekend by re-airing some 2004 era cheating gossip related to the President. You know? Even though no one has any proof and all parties involved are like "What now?" But never to let some good dirt get in the way, they ran screaming with the story, burning up their two-cents of credibility from breaking the whole John Edwards "You ARE the father" thingy and chasing down all 121 of Tiger Woods' alleged ladyfriends. Anyhoo, despite there being no smoke and no fire, Socialist Kenyan hatin' headhunters are offering $1 million to the first person who gives them some Obama cheating news they can use.* (National Enquirer)

* I've said this before and I'll say it again. If some random woman shows up in Obama's closet that woman is going to have to go into hiding because, God Lord, even though it takes two to tango and there will be plenty of folks disappointed in him, I know my people and her ass would be grass with 92 percent of black America. And, sweet big baby Jesus, if she's a black woman, she is going to have to move to Iceland to escape the 10,000 white suns of hate directed towards her. Don't believe me? I remember people going to bat for Mike Tyson -- MIKE FRIGGIN' TYSON -- after he was hit with a rape charge. And all he did was beat up people for a living.

Most black folks, including illuminaries such as Louis Farakhan and Jesse Jackson, went after the 18-year-old who brought the charges. And people STILL hate his ex-wife Robin Givens even though it's pretty much been proven that Mike is not a stable person and has some serious anger issues -- especially towards women. I don't want to know what folks would do in relation to the Great Hopemongerer. I don't want to see that. You don't want to know what happens to 22 million dreams deferred. Forget the drying up like a raisin in the sun part, or the festering boil part. No sagging like a heavy load. It would go directly to EXPLODE. Rielle Hunter only thinks she's being persecuted for schtupping a married politician. I can't see Oprah sitting down politely with any Obama mistress. I imagine she'd get one question out before she'd lose all sense, then would let out a piercing cry of "YOU RUINED EVERYTHING!" before beating her to a bloody, unrecognizable pulp with her bare hands. Then Gayle King would run over and pile drive into her screaming "THIS IS FOR MICHELLE!" before some poor production assistant would be tasked with trying to pry Gayle and Oprah from the woman's lifeless body.

I just ... I just don't ever want to see that and you don't want to ever see it either. The Scarlett Letter is REAL people.

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Reader Comments (30)

"The Scarlett Letter is REAL people."

:dead:

May 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commentererigirl47

Were you on U Street? I swear I saw you at Hominy but I didn't want to seem like a groupie and bother you in the middle of brunch.

May 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterngb411

I can't imagine Obama fooling around. Then again, I can't imagine him being a smoker and he is.

May 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDavid Wise

I'm inclined to believe that President Obama is too self-righteous to ever commit adultery but...the National Inquirer has been hella accurate in calling out cheaters. Remember they were on to Miss Rielle and John Edwards before the mainstream news.

May 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMonica

In some ways, I am very protective of President Obama because he has taken a beating from so many sides. It would be hard to convince me that he would ever cheat on Michelle, but I didn't think that Tiger was that type either. You never know about people.

May 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterfunkystarkitty50

There's no dirt. Obama will soon get over the hump of this Evil American Empire. It's crumbling. IEvery disparaging issue towards Obama and his kin was heard BEFORE he was President, including this trash.
(SIGH)I can't wait until the smoke finally clears and we can just start Living in the New Age. Yes, 'New Age'! Like Post-Civil War, Reconstruction, etc.,only this Time Black folks will be straightening shit out-for EVERYONE!

May 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterviolet

Regarding Halle,

Now aint that nothin.' A man can have a famous woman who is BEYOND fine and yet STILL want variety! Men kill me. It is my opinion that men are more likely to take women for granted --than vise versa--and can be dissatisfied no matter what. Not to say that Gabriel took Halle for granted. Just saying.

May 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterliz

You gotta respect the brother for telling the truth BEFORE the fact - we think...And at least he didn't marry and promise to forsake all others and THEN change his mind. I can appreciate him not leaving her wondering and confused about why they don't make love as much anymore and why he's so quiet sometimes, oh sorry I let some personal venting out...

May 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJP

Not to point the finger at anyone but, Hallie has been in a number of different relationship with completely different men. The only common denominator is Miss Berry.

Now I'm thinking, she is one of the most beautiful women in the world, how crazy, odd or dysfunctional does she have to be for dudes to continue to bail? Is she just selecting the wrong men?

May 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMonica

@monica

word! i thought maybe she needs a white guy...so much for that. Which kills my theory that Jen Aniston needs a black dude.

May 3, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterkb

Halle wanted a child, she got a child. Dude served his purpose, the child is adorable, the break up is amicable. Halle is a lovely woman but she is over 40 and she is not going to look that way for much longer, she is half white and will eventually start to look like a pretty puppet with a face mysteriously frozen in time where only her bottom jaw moves.

Also, being with a beautiful person quickly looses its luster most of the time. Fact is, beautiful people are just as internally flawed as everyone else. There is an initial adrenaline rush and thrill, along with a mind numbing ego boost that comes with the conquest of snagging an 8-10 but eventually, many come to realize that a 7 or below put in more work.....to compensate while often, the 8-10's just rely on their beauty and what does that matter in the dark? Food for thought. LOL.

May 3, 2010 | Unregistered Commenternovanova

@ novanova

I don't always agree with everything you say but you have an uncanny ability to say the things everyone is thinking but no one has the guts to utter. I think you hit the nail on the head with Halle and her baby daddy. Most relationships I see with a man who is significantly younger than a women only work for the 10 minutes it takes for the woman to start showing her age. Either she gets insecure and drives him away with neuroses or he realizes that in about 5 minutes the MILF mystique is going to wear off and he's just going to be chasing high, tight butts and unwrinkled skin. There are notable exceptions but in my observation that's the rule.

May 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTJ

@TJ

Honestly, I feel that it wasn't even that deep. I smell a subconcious Micheal Jackson/Debbie Rowe type situation. She was feening for a child and found a babydaddy and now she got what she wanted and its over.

The cougar thing is a fetish, its psyco-sexual. Mommy issues. At the end of the day, the two people are still at different places in life, no mateer how much the old lady is fooling herself. 40 may look like 30 but its still the same old 40 and its impossible to really be at the same place as someone who is significantly younger than you.

May 3, 2010 | Unregistered Commenternovanova

Danielle,
Girl, that look good. What is that you had for brunch? I can't quite make all of it out.

May 3, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterliz

@novaova

Perhaps you mean "it's challenging for women" to really be at the same place as a man significantly younger than themselves .... because of course men manage to be at the same place as women much younger than themselves ALL the time. In that regard, 9 years is nothing. Depending upon how you define "be at the same place" of course .......

May 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLisaz

I don't even wanna THINK what Black folks (especially us wimmenz) would do if we found out Barry was having an affair and we knew the identity of the side chick.

May 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTamara

"I know my people and her ass would be grass with 92 percent of black America. And, sweet big baby Jesus, if she's a black woman, she is going to have to move to Iceland to escape the 10,000 white suns of hate directed towards her."
"I can't see Oprah sitting down politely with any Obama mistress. I imagine she'd get one question out before she'd lose all sense, then would let out a piercing cry of "YOU RUINED EVERYTHING!"

I am at work dying from laughter about your Obama section...OMG! Hilarious!
True and funny as heck!

May 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStacey

@Lisaz

When I say "the same place" i'm talking about the index of life experience, maturity, and stability,and motives . And I don't think that men who date younger women are in the same place as those younger women either. Their all delusional.

May 4, 2010 | Unregistered Commenternovanova

"'YOU RUINED EVERYTHING!' before beating her to a bloody, unrecognizable pulp with her bare hands. Then Gayle King would run over and pile drive into her screaming 'THIS IS FOR MICHELLE!' before some poor production assistant would be tasked with trying to pry Gayle and Oprah from the woman's lifeless body."

There is so much win in that scenario (so much truth as well). It made me LOL a lot longer than it should have.

May 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMr. Noface

When I heard the news about Halle, I jumped for joy.. and thought, Hell.. maybe there's a chance for me.
Now the only thing left to do is

1. Get a job (Halle may want to go to Applebe's or something)
2. Move out of my mom's basement. (Halle looks like a girl that would like a "real" beadroom with windows.
3. Break up with my other girl (Halle probwouldn't appreciate her showing up at the door on the middle of the night and keeying up her car)
4. Get a car (I'm sure Halle may have a problem with riding the bus with me)

Looks like I gots' me some work to do. LOL

May 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBrettandthecity

Halle chose a white sperm donor to make sure that her baby looked as far from black as possible. There are many black women who do this. She and the sperm donor never had a real relationship as evidenced by her stunt with Jamie Foxx.

May 4, 2010 | Unregistered Commentergrindhouse

I am crying and dying with laughter! Just picturing the O and Gayle going after the hypothetical other woman. Oh Man!

May 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterASA

"I don't even wanna THINK what Black folks (especially us wimmenz) would do if we found out Barry was having an affair and we knew the identity of the side chick."

Not a woman, but if Obama was cheating my reaction would be the same as it was with Clinton. I didn't care. It is not my business.

May 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterT. Rogers

@ ngb411 Yes. That was me at Hominy for brunch!

@ Liz That was from a different brunch several weeks back that I had at Kramerbooks and Afterwards. It's French toast stuffed with bananas.

May 5, 2010 | Registered CommenterDanielle Belton

I agree, Halle wanted a baby, she chose Gabriel and it did not work out. Are we really that suprise, though? I knew it would not work out based on articles I read about the relationship, basically she was training a boy to be a man. That had to be tiring for her and dissapointing. Bad move Halle. If you have to do that with a male then you should know you going down hill from the start line.

Obama and other women, Nahhhh... you learn a lot about a man from the type of woman he picks.

You are so funny Danielle- good article.

May 5, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBelieve
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