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« Coming This Monday -- Menfolk: How You Doin'? | Main | Mo'Nique's Hairy Legs + "Open" Marriage = TMI »
Thursday
Mar042010

Dear Harold Ford Jr., I'm Sorry I Called You A Princess

Because it's insulting to princesses mostly. Not because I feel bad or anything.

Anyway, unless you've been living under a rock, my favorite sexxxxy*, pretty, pretty ... um ... Shit. Now I need to think of a new nickname. Pretty Pretty NotPolitican? Pretty Pretty Pundit?

Yeah. That's better.

My favorite, sexxxxxxxy, Pretty Pretty Pundit, Harold Ford, Jr. punted on running for Senate in New York after everyone in the whole wide, wide world of sports told him it was a TERRIBLE idea.

Why was it a bad idea?

More after the jump.

For one, he was from Tennessee, not New York. For two, he knew next to nothing about New York. For three, the gays gave him mad side-eye the whole time he ran, along with various pro-choice/pro-abortion womenfolk and many different kinds of black people. I dunno. Maybe it was that whole, "Harold Ford, Jr: Ann Coulter's favorite Democrat" thing. That was some powerful black-Liberal-progressive-feminist-lefty repellant if there ever was some. Shit. Even if you're a red meat, red state conservative Republican, unless you're from one of those "I'm gonna die in this seat" districts, who wants to get endorsed by Ann Coulter? Ann endorsed my fair Mittens "Mitt" Romney in 2008 and he got nowhere fast. (Ann really needs to stop going for bat for the male politicians I love to mock the most.) Ann's the Typhoid Mary of Kingmakers.

Let's be honest: We all knew it wasn't going to end well.

But you know my Pretty, Pretty Pundit! It's not HIS fault no one wanted him to run for Senate in a state of which he is not from! It's the political party of which he is barely a member's fault. You know? Something about Democrats being punk bitches and how "punks jump up to get beat down" and how he ain't no punk so he's not gonna go out there and get his head knocked in!

Cough. If it means a Republican might win. Cough!

From Politico:

Former Rep. Harold Ford Jr. said Tuesday that Democrats are “scared” heading into this fall’s election and that he decided not to run for the Senate from New York because he feared his party would lose the seat after a tough primary.

“The fall is going to be a tough, tough fall for whatever Democrat emerges,” Ford said during an appearance on MSNBC’s “Morning Joe,” his first since announcing Monday night that he is not running. “It would have been a tough brutal fight.”

Ford, who ran unsuccessfully for the Senate from Tennessee in 2006, denied reports that he was scared off by the potential candidacy of Mort Zuckerman — who is believed to have courted many of Ford’s potential fundraisers and supporters — insisting that he would have been able to raise plenty of money regardless of who else entered the race.

“Mort will spend his own money. Mort’s a billionaire,” Ford said. “I wish we could all be billionaires.”

Rather, Ford stuck to the explanation he gave The New York Times on Monday night. “I’m a Democrat, I’m an independent Democrat, and I didn’t want a Republican to win,” he said.

Yeah. I wish we were all "billionaires" too, Harry. Can I call you, Harry? It doesn't matter if you like it or not because I'm going to call you that anyway ... Harry.

So Democrats are scaredy punks. Oooo. Shocker. You know who else thinks Democrats can act like a bunch of scaredy punks? Everyone. That's their reputation. The Republicans say something about "flag pins" and they all fall down all over themselves babbling. I've seen this movie. I know how it ends. Whatever. It's a two-party system. But don't blame me. I voted Kodos.

In Lexington's Notebook on ye olde Economist's blog page, he surmises that Ford lost because he has no "home." In Tennessee, he was too "liberal," so he had to say and do a lot of things to make him appear less so. Unfortunately, all those things he said are on the record, so when he ran for office in New York they all came back to haunt him, making him look like a conservative and freaking out the more progressive hoi polloi. Hence the central, Schrodinger's Cat like paradox at the heart of who is my sexxxxxy, Pretty Pretty Pundit Harold Ford, Jr.

From Lexington's Notebook:

I've no idea how much of this stuff he actually believed. In person, Mr Ford always struck me as bright and rather thoughtful. But some circles cannot be squared.

What can I say? Shit happens. Better luck next time.

*I put a emphasis on "sexxxxxy" because the last time I wrote about Ford quite a few people got stuck on my throw away comment about Ford's looks and things never graduated to actually discussing the issue at hand -- that he sounded like a horrible candidate. So, um, for those who don't get it ... sssssssatire. I mean, if you want to turn the comments into a referendum on how unnattractive you find the Pretty Pretty Pundit, go nuts. I just want to point out, his looks aren't why he sucks.

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Reader Comments (32)

No HFJ can’t win for several reasons now, in NY or elsewhere; it would take the intervention of God at this point. It is a good thing that he pulled himself out of the race to save himself from further humiliation. The fates, angels and or devils have gathered against him to make this the worst non-starter campaign ever. LOL. He must be cursed. LMAO. The excuse he gave was weak, he must have known from the beginning that a rough primary may lead to a Republican win. Top 10 reasons HFJ would lose1) Voting record 2) Flip flopping 3)Poor research on NY 4) NY Times Story 5) Gays 6) Pro- Choice 7)Merril Lynch pay check 8) Tax issue 9)Not from NY and not on the level of a Hillary or Kennedy 10) White wife (NY is still undercover racist, lynched black boy in Bensonhurst, so he will have a problem with white men also. HFJ has no base, not enough support in the Black community). Plus isn’t she an ex- celebrity stylist? Why is he always talking about her influencing his policy decisions? I never really hear any other politicians talk about their spouses who are clearly unqualified influencing their policy decisions. Honestly I do not really want a white ex-celebrity stylist, who is not from NY, influencing policy decisions in my community.

@DB I know your being sarcastic but I have a sneaking suspicion that you may have a little crush on HFJ, be honest now girl to girl who do you find more sexxxxy TJ or HFJ?

March 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterIsis

@ Isis

I truly enjoy mocking Harold Ford Jr. because I think he's ridiculous and if he never, ever opened his mouth and would get a decent haircut I would probably give him a break of some kind. But then it wouldn't be as much fun. That said, if I had to choose between sexxxxxxy him and My Fair Mittens, I would be torn.

Although, Mittens gets in fights with rappers and is also a habitual flip flopper corporate man. It might be Mittens FTW!

But, c'mon, obvs the Prince of West Memphis will always be king. Although he DID just get all kinds of married on me.

March 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDanielle Belton

I'm tired of all the publicity this man is getting. Since he has bowed out of the race, hopefully this will be the last we've seen and heard of him.

March 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFungirl

Glad he's out. He would have ended-up being an embarrassment for our people at some point.

March 4, 2010 | Registered CommenterVenni

So long Harold! I was getting ready to leave one morning and I saw when he was on MSNBC and a lady name Melissa Hartwell thanked Pretty Pretty Pundit for running in TN and also thanked him for NOT running in NY. I laughed so loud my sister asked what was I laughing at. You and your wife can start on that family now Harry. I can’t wait to see what the child will look like. I hope it’s light and bright just like you Harry or white like it’s mother. I know that’ll make you real happy. Good luck to Zuckerman, Gillibrand or whoever else . Anyone but Harry. Maybe he’ll have a better chance in TN. I think not, lol! So long dude. What has Ann Coulter said about this since her boy has bowed out?

I liked calling him Princess and Pretty because what man wants to be called pretty and a Princess?

March 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterZen

@zen
I don’t think the equipment is working or something is not right or they would have popped out a baby by now. Maybe they’ll do a Michael Jackson and adopt some white baby and name it HF III. I am so tired of hearing about this tired man and his over career, hopefully he will go away now. I wish he would take his tired white wife, go crawl under a rock and never try to run for office in my NY again.

March 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMike

and would get a decent haircut

um, Snob, that would take him going to Harlem or some other place in NY with a lotta Black folk....which is why he will never get a decent haircut.

someone else wrote that they wouldn't be shocked to see Pretty Pundit (love it! ) at Tavis' Obama Haterpalooza , but I corrected them....WAAAAAYYYYY too many Black folk for Pretty Pundit to show his face.

I enjoyed watching the activist groups go after him...it was quite hilarious. The more they got to know Harold, the lower his polling went...LOL

March 4, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterrikyrah

PRINCESS1 aka SUPERBAD....Taught By The POWERful BEST.

March 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPRETTI BOIS PATNA

All These Inferences About US...Continuously Flattering - Oh My!

March 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPRETTI BOIS PATNA

Snob,

Could you add the Pretty Pundit to your next installment of SCAN? him and Mittens?

LOL

March 5, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterrikyrah

@Isis
I saw a picture of his wife and am not sure why anyone would destroy their career over that. In my opinion he is either really self hating or she is very rich and he is trying to get half. I wonder if the man normally gets half in NY. Did Al get half from Star?

March 5, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRick

@PRETTI BOIS PATNA Are you a pro? What is all this “taught by the best, aka superhead” mean?

March 5, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRick

Snob, forget about the political flip flops and the white wife. If you ever google his family (Uncle John-under federal indictment or Uncle Emmett-you owe how much in back taxes on that property your business sits on), you can see why he is so slippery.

March 5, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnagrom

Sorry that was Edmund Sr. not Emmitt, hard to keep them straight.

March 5, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnagrom

@Aragon
No one cares about Harold’s relatives, everyone has at least one F’ up relative. This is about the intellectually disabled choices he made. I wonder if I can find some silly rich white girl to give me half her money it is tight on a brother during the Great Depression II. I am not running for any office therefore I probably won’t ever need Black community support; where the rich dumb white girls at? I have never met a sister dumb enough to give me half.LMAO

March 5, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSean

LOL at rick, riyrah, and Sean.
Rick, I think PRETTI BOIS PATNA is either the Pretty, Pretty Princess or his wife. Get that money Harry

March 5, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterZen

Little Harold should take some time off and spend it with her lily white bleached blonde princess especially before she gets old. Have you seen Harold's mother in law? haha

March 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChebourg

Wow. We really are going hard on Harold's "tired White woman."

Although I realize Black Man + White Wife brings to mind all kinds of comfortable narratives about "how brothers are," using that kind of analysis on HFJ seems short-sighted and misses the point.

You can't help but judge a politician by the type of family life they have created for themselves, but our judgment also exposes what we think is valuable in a family. I wouldn't care if HFJ was dating a Knoxville Nubian Princess, just as long as he was treating her with love and respect. In the same way, he could be married to Taylor Swift's cousin, but if he was being an honorable man and a good husband, I think you have to call that in his favor. If we really want to find out what his relationship to this other person truly means, we have to get beyond all of these lazy judgments about how "tired" she looks.

There's plenty of reasons not to like HFJ. His choice in wife ain't nowhere near the best.

March 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAbdel Shakur

@Abdel
I personally do not care who the man marries as long as he stays in corporate. But honestly being from NY many black people just don’t like HFJ’s choice of wife she rubs black people the wrong way. Perception often is reality and when black people see a black man with a white woman, especially one that they think is substandard “sellout” comes to mind. . If HFJ wants to run for public office he has to take into account his choice of mate that is just a fact of life in politics. I personally would not vote for any black man who marries white because I don’t believe that the black community can afford to set a precedent of giving the power (influence) of a politician’s wife away to whites at a time when our communities are in decline. Also for HFJ’s wife to do that interview during fashion week reeked of self promotion, and she did not even consign what her husband said and making him look like a liar who misrepresented her during his already beleaguered campaign. I wonder if she went behind his back to do that interview and if so that is another reason to dislike and mistrust her. So I guess that would be an example of birds of a feather flock together, two untrustworthy birds.

March 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterVictor

I agree that your choice in mate does say a lot about who you are. But I resist the idea that having a White wife means you are going to "give power" to Whites at large. I don't take it as a good sign when a Black politician has a White wife (Barack without Michelle is like Harold Melvin without the Blue Notes...) but my investigation of a candidate has to go beyond those first color impressions. There may be political "realities," but that doesn't mean I have to let them determine who I support.

I would be more inclined to withdraw my support for a candidate if I found out they weren't acting with integrity in their marriage. Not that anyone's perfect, but infidelity seems to be a pernicious element in the narrative of many of our Black male leaders. Forget about marrying White; marrying a Black woman and then cheating seems like one of the most disrespectful acts you could perpetrate on the "community."

Besides, with all this talk of mixed marriage and it's effects on a candidate's perspective, shouldn't we be looking at class as well? What good is it to have a Super-Chocolate-Afrolicious-Cosby-Couple if they are out of touch with the issues that effect the every day lives of lower income people (many of whom are Black)?

March 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAbdel Shakur

@Abdel
What are you talking about? White men cheat on their spouses at the same rate as Black men. Bill, Edwards, Spitzer etc…
Just because he is married to a white woman does not mean that he is not going to cheat with other white women or black women or other women in general.
Most afro-centric black women would be more concerned about influencing their husband to garner more money for black community development than they would for promoting gay marriage, as Mrs. Ford did. Most people in the black community do not advocate gay marriage because they believe it negatively impacts the holy state of matrimony. Wives of Politian’s are influential, from Mrs. Ford’s own statement, she influenced her husband to change his views about gay marriage and flip flop on his original beliefs. If he were a senator the majority of blacks would not be happy with him voting for gay marriage.
Also, as long as the candidate displays afro-centric values (the Huxtables were portrayed as afro-centric ) most blacks would probably have vote for them regardless of class, so this debate has nothing to do with class issues in my book

March 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterVictor

@Abdel
Also if I were to cheat I would prefer for my classy black wife to react more like Monique or Jada, than Elin. At least if I cheated I might have a political career left if I had Monique or Jada on my arm, supporting me and having my back, and not destroying all of our hard work for our community over indiscretions.

March 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterVictor

It would be silly to suggest that infidelity and politics don't go together like beans and cornbread, but I guess I am addressing the pass that men seem to get when they step out on their marriages. Perhaps it's unfair to single Black male politicians out in particular, but I guess those are the ones I feel closest to and who I expect to most represent my political interests.

I wasn't making a judgment about whether HFJ was being true to his wife (I don't know him like that). I was just saying that the race of his mate has less to do with my opinion of him than how he treats her. Now, I'm not talking about just buying flowers and watching Seinfeld every night. I'm also talking about keeping it real regarding who he is, which includes discussing the racial implications of their relationship. It's a bad sign if your relationship is just a means of escape from your own identity (which it is for many). You show someone respect by being unafraid to show your real self.

As far as what the "Black community" would want, I'm not even sure what that means. If Afro-centricism is in opposition to full legal rights (including marriage) for all citizens, than I will have to sit that one out. Just because "most" Black people want something, that don't make it right.

And what does Afrocentric mean in the context you're using it? Cliff Huxtable: Afrocentric? Really?

And if you cheated, that would be a tragedy for you and whomever you were married to. And whomever that person was, they would be entitled to whatever human response (within reason) they could manage at the time. New rule: if you're the cheater, you don't get to determine appropriateness.

Besides, if you have a woman who is that down for you, what are you doing cheating in the first place?

March 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAbdel Shakur

@Abdel
Honestly I am tired of being PC let’s speak the truth. Most black people in NY think HFJ is a sell out and they are not going to vote for him or support him period. At this point I think you are just trolling for this man and his over political career. Most Black people are not stupid enough to vote for sell out black people with white spouses and nothing that you and the other trolls say is going to change that in this lifetime. I do not cheat on my wife you are the one that brought up the possibility of HFJ cheating and that is the only reason we are having a discussion on the topic of infidelity. Find a new candidate to troll for or tell him to marry a sister, if he wants a political career and you want to hang onto his coattails. LOL
I am done debating with trolls, goodbye.

March 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterVictor

Its funny,im highly 'liberal' have no problem with interracial relationships in 'real life',my sister is in a relationship with a white guy and they are perfect for each yet,unfairly;its different when it comes to high pfofile figures.I can't help but look at HF.JR and think 'damn son,that wife of yours means you aint goin nowhere'.Yep,since the advent of michelle and barack,black love is so visible and attractive that the 'becky wife' trend with public figures seem's so 90's and played,reminds me of wack people like OJ and Michael Jordan and Tiger Woods.I ain't hating you for having a white wife,but sorry I ain't loving you more for it,wheras it make me love Obama even more to know he had such a fly black woman like Michelle.I bet HF.JR secretly hates Obama and Michelle and their 'perfect black family' set up for the way it contrasts with his,but if he were to divorce his wife that would probably be even worse for his public image.Oh well,he has to lie in the WASPY bed he made.

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterZaza

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