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Monday
Mar222010

The Object of My Affections (An End to Google Stalking TJ Holmes)

For those who don't realize this, my fair Reese Peanut Butter Cup of the TV News aka "The Prince of West Memphis," Sir TJ Holmes got all kinds of married this month to a lovely woman who WAS NOT ME. I was crestfallen. There was a lot of me wandering around the Bat Cave singing Vesta's "Congratulations" while swilling the second cheapest bottle of halfway decent white wine I could find at Schnieder's on The Hill. Because TJ Holmes is now off the market and far, far away from my clutches (and because the wifey Marilee seems so sweet and dreamy), I'm just going to stop stalking him. I know, I know, long-time reader. You thought this day would never come, but I just can't. I will continue to be TJ's number #1 least stalkerish fan and maintain the photo gallery. I will even write about him from time-to-time. But ... I just can't stalk a married man, y'all! It's not as fun.

The Daily Show's Wyatt CenacSo I'm looking for some new guy to stalk. I met The Daily Show's Wyatt Cenac the other week on U Street. He seems nice. I showed him were Marvin's was and I totally name dropped Black Snob all over the place like I was P. Diddles. CNN's Chris Lawrence kind of makes me weak in an SWV-ish way. And I did threaten to stalk Jamal Simmons last year when I met him at Harvard's Annual Black Policy Conference. He's from St. Louis so that should count for something. (I'm a St. Louisian.) I attempted to stalk others, like Hill Harper, Don Lemon and such. But my heart just wasn't in it. Hill's cute and smart and all, but, I dunno. He doesn't bring out "the crazy" in me the way Teege does. And Don Lemon is adorable (and a great journalist), but I'd rather go shopping with him than have all his curly headed babies. Maybe it was because the Teege was from good ol' Arkansas and I've got a sweet spot for folks from Mama Snob's home state. (A matter of fact, "Arkansas Boy Done Good While Being Incredibly Handsome" probably had to do with about 90 percent of his appeal for me.)

Which reminds me, I need to call my Arkansas born n' bred Granny Snob back. I totally didn't take her call while I was partying last night, celebrating the passage of health care with a rack of ribs and a bunch of Howard U. grads. Maybe she'll recommend who I should stalk next? Or berate me for not landing TJ? After all, she once went in on me for not "snagging" Obama. I had to remind her that when the O Man got married it was 1992 and I was somewhere, with ance, grimacing my way through the halls of Hazelwood Central High School in a Cross Colours knock-off shirt at the ripe old age of 15.

Anyway ... who to Google Stalk? I just ... I just don't know.

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Reader Comments (34)

GOOGLE STALK HILL HARPER!!!:-) HE GOT KISSABLE LIPS!!

March 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTameka

I vote for Wyatt Cenac, he was so hot in Medicine for Melancholy.

March 22, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterthelady

Cenac is the man! Wyatt's got a great sense of humor and has worked on TV shows that I watch or used to faithfully watch (e.g. The Daily Show, King of the Hill, etc.)

March 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTBI

Whatever happened to Carlos Watson? I would love to see more photos of him. And it's your fault, Danielle! LOL! I had never seen him before until I saw him in your photo gallery.

March 22, 2010 | Registered CommenterPenny More

I'm Team HILL HARPER ALL THE WAY!!!:-) Hill Harper more fioonneee than the rest!!

March 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTameka

Jamal Simmons! He is adorable...okay, more like HOT...and oh so very smart. We don't see enough of him and NEED to!! Pretty please?

March 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterObserver

I vote for Jay Smooth, the guy who blogs at the Ill Doctrine and Adam Rodriguez just because he's Adam Rodriguez.

March 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMonica

You should google stalk Van Jones. He is teaching at Princeton right now and he makes me want to do college all over again!

March 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKAS

My vote is for Adam Rodriguez. Have you seen him in Melanie Fiona's 'It Kills Me' video? Scrumptous!!

March 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterToi

Stalk Marc Lamont Hill-he'll make you feel all tingly inside! :)

March 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterReyna Linares

You are a hoot! Lmao at the comment about going shopping w/ D Lemon. I get the same vibe...no offense. Anywho I think you should stalk Micheal Ealy (we can forgive him for that crazy Spike Lee war movie), or Columbus Short

March 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKels66

Please consider Newark, New Jersey mayor Cory Booker as stalk-worthy. He’s not stop-traffic fine, but his unwavering commitment to improving the quality of life of his constituents makes him incredibly attractive.

March 23, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersoulsistah02

All about Cory Booker! In the alternative Carlos Watson!!!!

March 23, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterlovinthesnob

How about Idris Elba or Chiwetel Ejiofor..You know, men who would fail the paper bag test. That is always refreshing. LOL

March 23, 2010 | Registered CommenterPenny More

"his unwavering commitment to improving the quality of life of his constituents makes him incredibly attractive"

ROFLMAO!!!

I get what you are saying but still LMAO.

Oooh baby, you know how I like it when your constituents are happy!!

March 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe_A

The_A:

LOL! Laugh if you must, Booker is that deal. And I’d marry his “constituent lovin’” self in two seconds if I had the opportunity and spit out all kinds of chocolated babies. LOL! Just keepin’ it real!

March 23, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersoulsistah02

A smart decision. It's not good to pine after a married man.

March 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDavid Wise

@soulsistah02
I don't think Veronica Webb will let you get close

March 23, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterthejerseychick

Back off, Penny, back off, all y'all -- Eijiofor is MINE. ;-)

March 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMac

@soulsis
You are right Cory’s serious commitment to improving lives does make him more attractive. Cory has my vote too. Let the stalking begin!!!

March 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJenny

@Soulsistah
With the right sistah by his side I definitely can see Booker as the second Black president. Go for it Soul. LOL

March 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJoe

My vote is for Adam Rodriguez. He is so fine! And he dates sista's (not just in Tyler Perry's movie, but in real life!). He may not be a "news guy", but he sure is fine and single. Did anyone see him on the Wendy Williams Show not too long ago? So fine!

P.S. RIP Google Stalking TJ Holmes
P.P.S . Ooooh! Idea! Danielle, I think you should make a RIP Google Stalking TJ Holmes post where fellow Teege google stalkers can leave our all-time favorite parts of this series.

March 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHonee Bee

I think Christopher Keyes is beyond beautiful. http://www.christiankeyes.com/

March 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterVenni

Wentworth Miller! He's delicious! He's smart! He's kinda weird in a I-won't-disclose-anything-personal-about-myself kind of way! Plus, he's my daydream boo and I love him to pieces. He's a man for the ages in this post racial world (note: I use post racial purely for comedic sarcasm, not because I actually believe it).

More importantly he is FINE the most important criteria for cyber stalking.

Ok, I'm done. :)

March 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterQuel Couleur

Try John Forte. This may be coming from left field but it's something about the dreads...something about the dreads. I tried stalking him but it just didn't work. It's no good if your stalkee REALLY believes you're crazy.

March 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKrystal Grant

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