Snowpocalyspe II: The Snowening (We're All Gonna Die!)
Thursday, February 4, 2010 at 4:13PM 
As many of you may be aware it's supposed to snow mad crazy snow again here in the diamond district. (That's what you guys call it, right? I'm still learning all the nicknames.) Which is lame because this is, like, the umpteenth time it's snowed on the weekend this winter and this is the SECOND giant snowfall of death in the short time I've lived here. I was told that I was moving away from mad crazy snow by moving to D.C. WHERE ARE THE MILD WINTERS YOU PROMISED ME!!!?!?!?!
From Wonkette:
First they predicted 12-20 inches, and we said nothing. Then… other predictions were made… and now it’s 18-24 inches with a special Bonus Prize of “you will die, -ish” for a small band hovering over Washington, DC, the mutilated-diamond-shaped federal office park where man’s greatest dreams come to be filibustered. Clutch your loved ones! (Because after a few days, you’ll need to eat them.)
My father likes to tell this story about St. Louis weather and how when he first moved to the city with the giant horseshoe in the ground from Texas the winter was incredibly mild and they only got a dusting of snow. He thought, "Hey, this is no worse than Gainesville!" And he went on to build a happy little life here, working for McDonnell Douglas and marrying my mother and having three little snobs with her. Then came the great St. Louis Snowpacalypse of ... um, it was the early 80s, so I'm not too spot on about the year. Let's say, '82 ... And we got, like, 20 inches of snow and he was shoveling the driveway every two hours so he would be able to free himself from the house if need be. OF COURSE Baby Snob, who was an actual baby at the time, got sick and my father had to throw pounds of rock salt in the back of the old Mercury and drive her to the doctor's. And as he did this he thought, "If only you'd snowed like this the first year I moved here ..." Of course he was joking.
But for serious. Thank God the Snowpacalypse didn't happen the first year my dad lived in St. Louis or I WOULD NOT EXIST!
(Don't worry, Washingtonians. I'm not going ANYWHERE because of a little snow. I'm from Missouri. I'll live.)
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Reader Comments (19)
It snowed here in NC this past weekend. It’s been chaos the entire week. Lately we’ve been getting a good heavy snow about every year, but I guess in that time people forget how to act and we go through the same panic every year.
atlanta is better.
everytime someone mentions the snow...that boys2men song comes to mind, "Let It Snow".
Years ago, I had to explain the concept of ballast to the Floridian I'd married. (Him: Tell me again why we're putting these old sacks of mulch in the back of the car?)
Good luck! Keep high and dry.
Hey that's a great song if it's Christmas......But this is getting to be a bit much. Once I've had the chance to sing WALKING IN A WINTER WONDERLAND for December, I'm ready for snow to go elsewhere. Welcome Snob! We just wanted to clear out all the germs in the city for you. LOL
It's a state-wide panic in North Carolina if it snows an inch. When I lived in Colorado, we took blizzards in stride.
Lived in North Carolina so I know exactly what you are saying. LOL If you not in the Eastern part.....it's even worse there.
"Where are the mild winters you promised me?!" I've been saying the same thing! I moved to D.C. in August and my aunt who has lived here for 20 plus years talked about how mild the winters were and how they were so much better than St. Louis (where I'm from). LIES! :) Try to stay warm and stock up on some goodies. Take care!
We do have mild winters! Last winter it snowed once! I don't know what's going on with the Snowpocalypse 1 and 2. We've never been hit this hard twice in one winter. It's craziness.
At least the Federal Government is letting us go early today.
I don't know how many of you live here in DC...but the grocery stores were a madhouse last night; and Blockbuster, FORGET it.
At least the Wine store's made sure they had plenty of stock.
PS- I LOVE this blog. I just discovered it and now I read it each day.
Here in the mountains of WV, I think we've seen the actual ground once for about a week since December. Damn that black woolly worm I spotted back in the fall (the old-wives tale is if you see a black woolly worm right before winter, it will be a rough couple of snow months.)
It usually is mild...someone here pissed the heavens off!!! It kills me how people here go into mass hysteria and there is NOTHING on the grocery shelves like we will be stranded in the house for weeks!! Take it in stride and get some good wine and hope you have cable!
Where Is MY SnowMAN??? - Wink!
Usually the winters are mild. This winter has been OFF-THE-CHAIN. It has never been cold for so many consecutive days and we usually just get one light coating of snow if that a year and a big snow maybe a few times a decade. I don't know, I think maybe we did something to offend the snow gods. OR it is YOU SNOB, you brought all this funky weather with you from St. Louis! We hadn't had snow like this in a long time BEFORE YOU ARRIVED. Uh-hu. :-). Seriously, this is getting ridiculous. If I'd wanted to put up with this, I'd have stayed up in Syracuse after college. Hang in there snob.
SNOWPOCALYPSE II: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO!
@HULawyer ROFLMBAO!
@ Lisa J
Hmmm. We get the Snob here in the area and all snow hell breaks loose. TWICE.
Coincidence?
Perhaps but Snob you should know that I've got an angry mob on standby should we get any other significant snowfall this year...
@ swiv, I checked in with relatives in ATL & points south last night to see if there was room in case I call it quits up here. I hear its raining down there. Are those storm drains all cleaned out this time?
be safe, Snob.
be safe.
don't drive if you don't have to.
Here is the answer, apparently 1/4 of DC's plows are broken.
http://www.wtop.com/?nid=25&sid=1884422