What's In A (Really Ghetto) Name? A Lot of Foolishness (Unconventional Wisdom) (Guest Post)
Tuesday, May 26, 2009 at 11:00AM
Enough with the crazy names, already!
By C. Diane Thompson
I consider myself an open-minded person. As a retired chef, I’ve worked with and hired all kinds of people from all walks of life. I would hire Goth kids, alternative head bangers, gamers and aspiring rappers. As long as they could do the job, they were welcome to work in my kitchen.
However, one thing has always been in the back if my mind as I read some of those job applications: What’s with the names we are giving our kids? As an employer, I’ve had more than one occasion where I’ve had to ask how to spell someone’s name, only to be met with some sort of eyes rolling, or some facial expression denoting, “Can’t you spell?’’
More after the jump.
My mental response was, “Sorry, Skippy; I’m not down with the latest spelling of Dante/Dontay/Donta/Dawntae/Donte/D’Onte/Deontay, or however your mother chose to creatively moniker her offspring these days.”
This phenomenon has always perplexed me, but I just tried to accept it as a part of my culture. As a black woman in her late 40s, I just chalked it up and filed it in the “Some of the crazy shit we do” file in the back if my brain. You know the file, admit it; you have the exact same file in your head, too. This is the file you reference whenever you see one your brethren do or say something so crazy, that you go all slack-jawed after witnessing it. The file that makes you utter the mantra, “I love my people,” or “Your cousins are at it again,” or simply shake your head and utter, “Damn.”
A few weeks ago, I was at a bar having a cocktail with a good friend, and a white woman in her 30s introduced herself to us. Here is the exchange we had:
Woman in her 30s: “Hi, My name is Theresa.”
Me: “Hi, my name is Diane.”
Woman in her 30’s: “Wow, I’ve never met a black woman with that name before!”
Me: “Then YOU need to get out more!”
I have a pretty regular name. There were lots of girls named Diane or Diana when I grew up, so when did my name become unusual?
Then, this whole thing came to a head when I was looking at the Ebony Fashion Fair retrospective a few days ago. There was this fierce, black plus-sized model burning up the catwalk. She was absolutely amazing. Later on in the show, her name was highlighted as she commented on her status in the fashion industry. Her name? Phonical Washington.
Huh?
I tried to pronounce her name phonetically. Her name is similar to the word phonics, so I naturally assumed it was pronounced that way. Nope, it’s pronounced Pha-neesa. I would have never guessed that; especially since the irony of how her name is spelled is nothing like how it sounds (phonetically speaking, of course).
I wonder how many times she’s had to correct people on the correct pronunciation of her name.
As a kid in the 70s, members of my extended family and I were afro-sportin’, Dashiki-wearing, modern Blacks. We were no longer Negroes; we were simply Black people. And, Black was indeed beautiful. We changed our names to African ones to denote pride in our heritage, and we gave our children those names, too. Names like Donna, Kimberly, John and Mark went by the wayside as Naima, Aisha, Malik and Dante became popular. When our children were asked what their name meant, the kids could give you an answer.
You can’t necessarily say that now, can you?
The authors of Freakonomics wrote in their book that the exotic names our kids have are an indicator of their socioeconomic status. Their assertion is poor parents are more apt to give their kids distinctive names, while parents that are considered middle class give their kids mainstream names. The actress and comedienne Mo’Nique is a great example. Married twice, her first marriage produced one son, Shalon (there was her stepson, Mike Jr. from her then husband’s first marriage), while getting her standup act together. After she became famous (and wealthy), she got married again and gave birth to twins, Jonathan and David.
Of course, with names like Oprah, Condoleezza, Kobe and Barack floating around, my argument may be thin. But, these people’s achievements are so great that they seemed to transcend their names. Most of us aren’t that smart, or lucky.
So if you are expecting a child, take their futures into consideration. Give your children names that have strength and meaning, not something you saw on a sign, a drink at the club ( I once overheard a woman on a bus say proudly that her newborn girl’s middle name was Alize), or from the latest name they gave a zoo animal (In 2005, the National Zoo named their new panda Tai Shan; I wondered aloud how long it would take for some woman to tell her good, good, girlfriend about this hot name for her progeny).
Give your kid a name that exemplifies the best possible future we all want them to have.
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C. Diane Thompson is a former chef, blogger and regular reader of The Black Snob.
Agree with Thompson? Think she's wrong? Comment below. And if you're so inclined, you can write the counter-argument to Thompson's manifesto against "exotic" names, and we'll post it here on The Black Snob. This story is part of a series on interesting, unusual, funny and unconventional takes on issues. To see the full list of issues that will be covered, click here. To read past stories, click here.
Reader Comments (57)
All that coming from a guy named "Finesse". I hope he has stone thrower's insurance.
I think that people should be able to name their children what they want. I may not like the names, but it wasn't my choice. Too often we judge on the superficial, and quite frankly this is one of those issues. Then we have the audacity to punish children for the names their parents gave them. Not fair. We don't ridicule the current crop of white celebrities that name their children stupid stuff. We just say they are hollywood. Why is hollywood okay and hollyhood not okay? (just playing devil's advocate. My children have names that are easy to spell and gender neutral)
Phonical is new one to me. Does it mean anything?
Overall, I think that Black folks just like getting creative with names. Nothing more, nothing less. My great-great-grandmother's name was Seamont....who knows where that originated. I'm sure other folks have older relatives with equally unusual names. I admit those extra apostrophes drive me crazy too.
Personally, if I decide to have kids I would like to give them foreign names. I like Russian names for boys like Viktor, Vladimir, Piotr (pronounced "Peter") and Japanese names for girls like Kimiko or Misaki.
All my kids will have gender neutral action verbs for names. I am thinking Dash, Bolt, Leap, Flash, and Bound.
actually people do ridicule the names white celebrities give to their children, they had an entire special on VH1 making fun of celebrity baby names like Rocket and Apple.
There won't be a real problem with "Ghetto" names until names like Pilot Inspektor become the norm, though I think we may be on the way there. Pimp and Damoney are names that have already been used. I would not saddle my kid with a name like Pimp. The kid may turn out to be a square, and there would be too much pressure on him to learn, respect,underdig, and spit that game.
Phoenical/Phaneesa had me rollin!
As a Human Resources professional for the past 18 years, I can tell you that although names should NOT matter, they most definitely do. If I have a candidate with the name Jacqueneisha D'Arshay Jackson, I have to worry about the manager being predisposed one way or another. When presenting the resume, I generally shorten to J. D. Jackson so the response is more neutral. Yeah, yeah - Barack is in the White House and it's 2009 but not everyone has embraced the "post-racial" philosophy.
I'm not saying folks should suppress their "flavor" but don't make it harder on your kids than it has to be. I have a friend named Ju'shon, brother has a DOUBLE PhD (literally a rocket scientist) but wasn't getting interviews at a large aerospace company in Florida. Switched the name to Jay, took Kappa Alpha Psi off the resume and got interviewed and hired in four weeks.
I'm just sayin'.... it is what it is out there.
Sometimes I think some names are plain ridiculous and a nuissance to the child. The worst offender I have seen is La-a pronounced Ladasha. Come on, that is just retarded. The moher of the child wanted to sue the school because a teacher kept mispronouncing the name.
On the other hand people have the right to name their children whatever they want. Just because someone feels like a name is weird or ghetto doesn't mean that name doesn't have meaning. I have a unique name that my parents made up. My name has meaning and my parents are far from ghetto. You shouldn't judge a book by its cover.
It is annoying to have to correct people all the time, but I still love my name. My name is spelled just like it is pronounced and it is 3 simple syllables, so some of that is just ignorance on the part of others.
In my job, I see the names that children are giving their children. The names reflect no meaning and no connection with English as we know it. The parents get mad when you can't pronounce a name with nine consonants and one vowel. They're annoyed that you have never seen an accent mark in two places in one name. But they are particularly disturbed that you have the nerve to be unsettled by the fact that they have named their child ......let me do this phonically....She- Ta- Ed, but have spelled it - Shitehead. I don't want to know about the fututre therapy bills for little Shit head. And I wish I could say I've only seen that name once. Sadly, it's out there on at least two or three kids in my city.
co-sign w/Leon.
I also don't get all the huffing, puffing, head-shaking and face-screwing about Kre8tif names. I have ordinary European names, and have no desire to give any kids I may have anything else, but I tend to think of such names as a way of expressing what Zora Neale Hurston called "the will to adorn."
I was mostly exposed to this phenomenon up close in high school. I would watch girls plan out names for their soon-to-arrive kids, and they would string together seemingly random syllables, or add in or remove letters, for a variety of reasons: sometimes they were representative of different people who were important to them; sometimes they simply enjoyed the way they sounded together, or liked pronouncing them. They did not care what other people thought. Who's to say that isn't meaningful, just because it isn't in a book somewhere? To some people, giving your kid something original *is* full of meaning.
And I think the prejudice against such names in the workplace will eventually end. There are too many of these kids born in the 80s and 90s for it to seem weird--or for people to care--for much longer.
LOL@ khia213, creativity or not, naming your child Shitehead is just plain wrong! I've also heard the lore of Shady Nasty, add the "upper comma" and you get Sha'Dynasty. And the infamous twins Lemon Jello and Orange Jello, pronounced Le-mon-gel-lo and Or-ron-gel-lo, named so because that was what the mother was served in the maternity ward.
I have a made up name, I'm named after my father, with a little creativity on the end. For years I hated having to correct people's pronunciation, but now I go mostly by my nickname so it isn't that much of an issue. Except when I tell people my real name, they always look surprised.
This post is quite funny. The sad thing about giving a child an unusual name is that it handicaps them in the working world. Surveys reveal that employers throw away applications with exotic, ethnic names. So if having a job isn't really important to you, keep picking those strange sounding monikers for your children.
I'm personally fond of the name Merconia. If I'm not mistaken, the mother named it after something she saw on her medical form after having the baby. Merconia is the first thing that comes out of a newborn. It's baby poop. So attractive.
I have no problem with the name Barack - because it means something. I have no problem with names that actually mean something or have meaning regardless of their language of origin. I do have a problem with people naming their kids after expensive cars, alcohol, and whatever strikes their fancy. I don't blame the kids because obviously they have no say in it, but I do think that what people choose to name their offspring tells you a lot about what type of person they are. From my own personal experience, I can say that most of the kids I meet with "interesting" names like: SirTommy, Prezident, Hennesy, Alize, Shatasia, etc tend to have very young, uneducated, ignorant parents.
wow, i guess i better stick with naming my future unborn kids "Tom", "Dick", "Harry", and "Jane". It seems like anything else that remotely sounds un-American will doom them to a jobless life of failure. Oh, and forget unusual family names 'cause that's in the same category. And I guess I better not take into consideration that I am pretty successful even though I have an unusual name. Oh, and I will also ignore the fact that do see folks with other "ethnic" origins in successful positions. Let's stay in the box, it's safer that way.
@ OneChele and dukedraven,
Sad but true about names being linked to job prospects. At my last job, the management had no qualms about sending Tyreke's or Shaniqua's resume straight to the circular file. I'm sure the day will come where what we name our kids won't impact on their careers, but it ain't here yet.
As for my own family, one of my cousins and his wife took the Soul Train scramble board approach in naming their girls. I have the pronunciations of the names down, but please don't ask me to spell them (lol).
I'm sorry, but you can't name your kid Laronsheika Lexus Alize Williams, have no economic power and then cry when somebody sizes them up as ghetto and then tosses their resume on the reject pile. When you get some economic power and status, name your children whatever the hell you damn please. Until then, be creative, but not ridiculous, or be willing and prepared to have them work harder, be exceptional and make no excuses for taking a stand to exercise your right to be creative.
A friend of mine told me about when he was a seminarian working in rural South Carolina. He visited a black family out in the sticks and they proudly showed him their little girl "Charmin -- you know, like the toilet tissue -- because she's so squeezable!" LOL (no, I did not make that up)
I can't clap to this, sorry.
While I'm not naive enough to ignore the fact that many people (of all colors and backgrounds) consider certain names to be "good" and others to be "bad", I cannot enable what I feel is wrong by jumping on the bandwagon. How come the so-called "good" names are ones with European or even Hebrew roots? While you or I might not understand or like where a parent gets their inspiration from for a name, I don't see why that must impact the value of the child. If my mother named me something completely wild, am I not qualified? Am I not a good person? Am I not able to "transcend" like the author suggests Condoleeza or Barack have done? And so what if a name were an indicator of one's socioeconomic status? Because I grew up poor, that shouldn't impact my prospects if I work hard and deserve to be hired/promoted/respected.
I think this is yet another way that people fall into the majority way of thinking and feeling like since it's mainstream it must be right. If we don't start changing our minds, then things will stay the same. It's silly that folks would rather change their child's name to fit a racist/classist system instead of crying out against said system! true, it's an uphill battle to change minds and change such deep seeded ignorance, but that's no reason to fall in line.
Oh and I don't see why Tai Shan would be a bad name just because it's the name of a zoo animal. It's obviously a name from another culture. There are bears and penguins named Susie but I don't hear any outcry from the author about that.
honestly, I prefer the creative names to what my peeps give out -- naming your baby Jesus or Angelica practically guarantees he or she is going to be a menace. And I actually had classmates (twins) named Precious Promise and Special Angel.
And don't even get me started on redneck names -- You named your kid Tucker? or Trig?
Meaning or no, I'd give my kids names that won't be potentially embarrassing.
They are always exceptions to the rule, and thank God for that. Hurray for Condolezza and Barack! For most of us mere mortals, we don't have that luxury. All I'm saying is that if you feel a compulsion to be "creative," use it as an exotic middle name for the child's sake.
Well I like my name. It's been unique for over 40 years now. Never physically met another person with it. That said, making up names is IMO just insane. I knew a girl named Aquanet. Like the hairspray. Or when I was in the hospital with kid #1 (26 yrs ago) and the mother in the other bed was naming her kid Ian - but spelled it Eeayan. Or my stepdaughter naming her son Devan, and pronouncing it Devon (and no, she was white). I knew a white chick from SLC named Charmin, it always made me giggle to myself. Obviously I'm in favor of the unusual, but Black folks need to get a grip on the made up, outlandish crap we saddle our children with. NO, mainstream society cannot and should not have to apologize for not being able to pronounce Shitehead, Sha'Dynasty or some other crap that floated YOUR boat that day and you foisted on your kid. It IS ghetto, just as it's white trailer trash-ish to name your kid Stalin, Adolf Hitler, Devan or a state. Yes, times are changing and eventually the 30 variations of Dante will be acceptable but until then take it slow and try to remember the CHILD has to live with it, not YOU.
Sure, naming your child isn't just about whether or not they can get a job or whether or not they fit into a racist/classist society. But you can't knock people for taking that into account. Someone can tell by seeing my name in print that I am probably a black woman. That's fine with me. I like my name. And I can get jobs. My name is pronounced the way it is spelled. There are no miscellaneous capitalizations or punctuation marks in my name. And I am thankful for that. My parents put a lot of thought into my name - they didn't want something that I would hate for the rest of my life, or something that I couldn't "go anywhere" with.
I would really regret saddling my children with a name that causes them to have to constantly correct people. I would hate for their name to be mispronounced at graduation. I would hate for their name to constantly be misspelled. I'm not saying that I don't like creativity, but I am saying that when your creativity becomes a burden on your child, then you are a selfish parent, period, 'cause you had nine months to figure something out, and you decided in that span of time to give no regard to the experience your child would have on this earth with that name. All you could think about was your own agenda. The child has to live with the name at least until they're old enough to change it - why not try to make it so that they don't have to?
Now I agree that it is wrong for people to judge children by their names,. but I'm not willing to sacrifice my child on the altar of "you-people-in-society-need-to-learn-how-not-to-unfairly-judge-people-so-deal-with-my-kid's-ridiculous-name." That makes no sense. My child will not be a martyr for any such cause - my duty is first to my child's well being, and then to make my world better. I can do that by teaching my child to respect others and by doing the same myself. My children will have names that they can carry with pride, that don't make them cringe when a new teacher reads the attendance roll for the first time, and that literate people can pronounce and spell properly, no matter what language they may be in. And no, I don't mean Apple, Seven, Puma, Rumer or the like. Damn foolishness.
@Diane
I'm not against "unique" names, as long as they have meaning, and as long as the kid is aware that their name has meaning. Like the labels we give to everything else, a person's name should describe him, inspire him or be an homage to someone of good character.
Many years ago my mom was teaching a class on this subject and she told the kids to find out what your name means, if you don't already know. And if your name doesn't mean anything, come up with a meaning that describes what you want to be. Just because your name started out with no meaning it doesn't mean you can't give it meaning.
Maybe one reason those famous people you mentioned seemed to have "overcome" adversity is because they knew their names have meaning.
Oprah - A midwife misspelled Orpah on the birth certificate. Orpah was one of Naomi's daughters-in-law in the Book of Ruth. Orpah means "kind"
Condoleezza - her musically-inclined parents derived it from the Italian term for "with sweetness" - con dolcezza
Kobe - was named after a style of beef that has its origins in a city in Japan after his parents saw "Kobe Beef" on a menu. It's not the most momentous way to name a kid, but the word has meaning and is not just a jumble of consonants. "Kobe" is derived from a word that means "Ikuta Shrine Supporters."
Barack - a not uncommon Middle Eastern name, like "Barry" over here. You'll even find it in the Bible (minus the "C") in Judges chapter 4. Barak means "thunderbolt" or "lightning."
By the way, Diane, nice name. :)