Google Stalking TJ Holmes: And Now It's Official :(
Get yer hankies, stans!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Why Sweet Baby Jesus, why? (Source: All Things CNN)
(More after the jump)
;)
While I appreciate that TJ did his best to hide this from me by telling his co-host to zip it, then refused to elaborate, I can no longer keep this torch lit. It ain't an eternal flame, baby. TJ Holmes is getting re-hitched.
It's the real deal. Our little Reese's Peanut Butter Cup of the TV News has found love again in the form of a girl we can all welcome and respect (BE NICE! Seriously! FUCK, some of you guys are SO MEAN! You know who you are!) as one of our own. *Sniff.*
A snob. A beautiful, smart, fierce shoe wearing Black Snob. OK. Now pretend to be happy!
Yes, yes ... he's our favorite flavor of man candy and we can still happily drool from a distance as most of us didn't have a shit's chance anyway, but it still ruins all your fantasies. Especially if you have really specific, detailed ones where TJ rides to your wedding on a horse at the last minute because you're totally marrying the WRONG GUY and he totally didn't care that he had to cover that flood in Jonesboro. He needed to see YOU right then and there! On a HORSE! And he was like good at riding it and shit and his shirt just happened to blow open from the thrust of the church doors.
It was really impressive.
Anyway. I'm now all but certain he's getting hitched, but I'd still like it if someone, you know, besides me went official with it because like hell if I want to be wrong. A reader said he laughed off a reference to his second nuptuals Friday morning, but those folks at All Things CNN OBVIOUSLY didn't find that newsworthy until 2 a.m. Monday morning. (Thank God for insomnia!)
That said, if you're going to cry over a girl taking a man that was never yours to begin with (I started with Dolly Parton's "Jolene," but that implied the Teege was all I had and I still have Elba, Naveen Andrews, Isaiah Washington, Aaron McGruder and Daniel Henney), you should at least know a smidge about the woman you're boo-hooing over -- Marliee With-the-last-name-that-makes-her-too-easy-to-harass.
First off, a note to Marilee: Seriously, girl, if you and the Teege read this you need to do some house cleaning. I know you're a lawyer so you can't exactly hide, but you're about to marry a TV personality. You need to make it a little harder for crazy people to get at you. I have a rare last name too, but you'd have to shell out some duckets to even get close. I say this out of love, those digits better lead to Nowheresville or CNN Weekend viewers Sheretta, Antonio and Becky, winners of TJ's Ultimate Stalker Fan Competition may be applying for your services just to fuck wih you.
You're just lucky most TJ fans aren't as nuts motivated as Anderson Cooper fans. (You people FRIGHTEN me!)
That said, let's tip the hat to the Teege because as wonderfully awesome as The Snob is (and I AM wonderfully awesome and I can make peach cobbler ... you remember that right, TJ?), it seems this ladyfriend person is pretty nice and accomplished herself.
Using my master Google Stalking skills here is the scoop on Ms. So Damn Lucky Ducky.
Her name is Marilee. Even though I've published pictures of her I, for some reason, ... care ... and will not use her last name until the engagement goes officially, photos in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution public. I ask that others who know her full name do the same and keep the details about her interesting but purposely vague. This snobbette is a private citizen and I ain't trying to be sued in this piece.
Marliee is an associate working specifically with Immigration issues and went to Vanderbilt University so she's probably smart as a whip. She's only been out of law school for a few years, but has already made an impression it seems. (Or at least she's made one on my ... I mean OUR ... Prince of West Memphis.)
She works for one of the older and larger firms in the city. She has great taste in shoes. Everyone tells me she's gorgeous in person and that I would love her.
But I don't! Lucky heifer!
I know we all knew this was coming right? Right, T.J. fans? It's just *sniff* no matter what you do ... *sniff* ... you're never prepared! *Bwaaaahhhhh!*
Shut up, Vesta! This is even worse than you. I have to go back. Way back. Back into time for this level of devastation of THIS hot of a man being DENIED to me!
Etta, please. Show them how you properly mourn what's not yours!
You better love him, girl. Love him like I Love Reeses. He's my little Peanut Butter Cup.
I heard church bells ringing
I heard a choir singing
I saw my love walk down the aisle
On her finger he placed a ring
Oh, I saw them holding hands
She was standing there with my man
I heard them promise "Till death do us part"
Each word was a pain in my heart
All I could do, all I could do was cry (cry, cry, cry)
All I could do was cry (cry, cry, cry)
I was losing the man that I loved
And all I could do was cry (cry, cry, cry)
Yeah and now the wedding's over
Rice, rice has been thrown over their heads
For them life has just begun
But mine is at an end
All, all I could do, all I could do was cry (cry, cry, cry)
All I could do was cry (cry, cry, cry)
I was losing the man that I loved (cry, cry, cry)
And all I could do was cry (cry, cry, cry)
CNN, Marilee, TJ Holmes, black media, media 
Reader Comments (147)
And what is this extreme case of fan obsession based on? I can understand if some of it were related to an appreciation of exceptional talents (dozens of gifted actors, singers and musicians come to mind), as opposed to the mediocre skill of reading the news from a teleprompter. I get the gag though.
@ dukedraven
Um ... he's really, really, really good looking?
That said, if you get that it's a gag, why do write anything? It's like asking Olive Oil what she sees in Popeye? I mean, women like men. Women like attractive men. Let's just look at the pretty, pretty person in peace, dude! Thinking makes our heads hurt! You can't tell me there isn't a woman you don't just enjoy based on pure physicality?
Duke ... seriously -- you've never had a star crush? Oh, don't pay any attention to him, Danielle, your girls know how you feel. Thank you for being so NICE to the lucky fiancée.
Oh Snob, I hate to laugh at your misfortune....but seriously this post cracked me up. That Vesta vid was hilarious to me. But we've all been there. My most shameful episode was finally having to accept that George Michael was gay, too old for me and really, really gay. My friends would clown me, my mother thought I was a fool but ol' George just did it for me. Sigh. Actually can he get on the Great Wall of Sexy, please (if he's not there already)?
OMG, you're a nut. You need medication and the Kang.
I wonder what this will do to his ratings. He's pretty to see and listen to, but that's about it. He's not kicking mad journalistic ability like Don Lemon or standing in hurricanes like AC and Ali Velshi...if he's off the market, what will all of his female viewers (that don't want to swoon over a married man) do???
And I've kept up with TJ for some time (thanks to the Snob)...wasn't he just asking someone to make him a meal? ...how long has he known this chick? My friends in Atlanta saw him around all the time, and he definitely made the most of his ...ahem...bachelorhood until VERY recently.
I'm just saying...
But finding love is a wonderful thang. So do your thang ya'll!
Girlfriend, relax :)
I got a call at work to look at this post ASAP! Engaged??? Does TJ know he's engaged??? LOL!
Can't believe you broke out some Vesta. That's taking me back to the days when I was sporting that unfortunate Salt n Pepa asymmetrical bob (LOL).
Okay, ladies, I'm lay off your stud muffin. But remember what Judge Judy said about looks: "Beauty fades but dumb is forever." Now I'm not mean or calling anyone dumb, just making a point about temporal things and keeping things real, and in perspective.
Dang, Duke. Must you be the dank blanket on Danielle's already murky morning? Sheesh! Jeebs be some sense of humor for some folks.
oh Snob...im so sorry (but of course happy for TJ Holmes).....Im with the above post, I tried to resist the laughter, but when I read the post, the whole time I was thinking poor Danielle....but its okay....who's the next star crush?!?!? lol
Danielle your post is hilarious girl. Anyway, TJ looks like the type that will try and drag an engagement out for years.lol
This site is hilarious. I met TJ and Marilee at an event last summer. Both are really nice and cool folks. Marilee has a really interesting and diverse background. I'm not sure why the posts make it seem like TJ is such a player...just because someone is attractive and there is speculation about his past on the internet doesn't make it real. In person he comes off like a real nice, down-to-earth, good guy.
What about that other cutey, the lanky gentleman Mr. Lemmon
awwwwwwww! I'm sorry danielle. I take solace in the fact that she's at least an accomplshed attractive young lady... and doesnt look like a random hooka he picked up from somewhere. Congrats to the happy couple. I hope Tyrone doesnt read this blog b/c he might need to be put on sucide watch! You know the tyrone I'm talking about LOL
I clicked over here as soon as I found out today. Bwah hahaha! C'mon Danielle. Let's be happy for the young man. At least he's marrying a WOMAN!!
Snob, you are so funny...
I saw this when it happened, and I was sort of surprised. I really thought he was into the dudes! But this is great for them...I'm sure he wishes he or his fiancee had the opportunity to tell folks instead of having what's her name spill it on the air!
Does anyone know if he has kids?
You don't have to speculate about T being a player if you live in Atlanta. But maybe he's putting that behind him.
And yes, he has a child.
Let me give you a hug Snob, *opens arms wide* it's alright baby girl, it's alright...
so the teege is a playa huh? Do tell! lol. I cant say that i'm suprised buut hopefully he's ready to leave his single days behind him, and since he's being married before maybe he'll know what NOT to do now
Oh, Snob.
My condolences to you, and congratulations to "Teege" and best wishes to Ms. "Marilee".
I feel your pain, but was laughing out loud at your post! It's perfect. Now who will be your next crush? : )
she's pretty and i've heard about his reputation...in all honesty she has too much info on the internet, she needs to take that down quick. Not that i was looking for any info on her but its there
Don Lemon doesn't play for our (female) team. Look elsewhere.