What bothers me about this whole conversation is that no one acknowledges that are women that have no plans to EVER marry. I have been with the same man for 20 years come June and let me tell you, as much as I love him, nothing could get me into a dress and down the aisle. Not every woman wants marriage or believes in what the institution stands for.

I saw this as well, and thought it was a "Black women are the pit of society and have issues with men" spoy, but was surprisingly pleased by the angle that they took on the "Situation"...that is, until Steve Harvey came through.

The amount of interracial marriages amongst black women having doubled in the last decade did not surprise me. It only makes sense. When they showed the 1:12 stats for black men to women, and then mentioned that that is the ratio BEFORE you exclude black men who are: incarcerated, w/o higher education, etc..., i think that proves a major point that even if ALL eligible black men were to pair off with eligible black women, there would STILL be a large group of us without a mate. I'm ALL for dating outside of my race, even before knowing this eye-opening ratio, but many of us are pretty dead set on marrying a black man. There is nothing wrong with having that preference at all, but looking at the numbers, I don't think there is anything wrong with considering other types of men either.

I also appreciated that the women featured were fly, and had it together. One of them made a good point when she mentioned that many black men KNOW that they have the upper hand with women in general. With black women, a large number of us prefer an educated black man, and then socially black men are considered top tier amongst many women of other races as well.

Just another fake made-for-TV drama with an angle...poor beautiful, educated, perfect black woman. These shows are geared towards women because good available black men aren't sitting around whining about not being married. Why? You could say they know, because of numbers, once they are ready to be married there will be no shortage of adequate mates. But that goes back to the problem with these women-centered shows - that all these single, educated black women are actually good women who have all their stuff together and are ready for marriage.

If there was a show about single, educated black men who want to get married the show would take on the same vibe as this show. These shows are like biographies for me, if its all good or all bad, its useless because its not based on the true reality.

I didn't see the show and I have to take my laptop in for a hardware issue so I have no sound right now. But question: if these women were asked why they think they are single did they mention even one thing that they may be doing wrong, or one trait that may be a turn off to potential mates?

Yeah, I'm also tired of these "Woe is me, I'm a beautiful, educated black woman and I can't find a decent black man" shows. Such drivel. I have no sympathy.

Symphony,
You just hit the nail on the head. I keep talking about how so much of this dialogue goes back to gender roles. There's plenty of men who are out there, looking, and in alot of ways are mirror images of these women in terms of their circumstances. Yet the male gender role says that if a man is out there, he needs to figure out what he's doing wrong, make corrections, and keep trying. The female gender role doesn't really prescribe that sort of introspection and self-critique to the same extent that it does men. So then you get all these women, or at least a portrayal, who are basically just whining and not looking for ANY answers/solutions within.

I hope the culture at large starts to force women to figure out what they may be doing wrong if they find themselves unhappily single (not be confused with women who are singel adn cool with it.) It's been a solid 25 years of this and it got tired sometime around the Very Special Episode of Dif'frent Strokes,

I love this post! I am so tired of Black women being portrayed as bitter, lonely and unable to keep a man. I have been single and married and both have their perks and things that piss you off. Marriage isn't some prize, and being single isn't a disease.

There is noting special about settling.

Until recently,(I'm ashamed to admit) I was beginning to think that I wasn't attractive enough to get a man. I was beginning to think that I was invisible to single men within my age group and with whom I share an educational background. I couldn't figure out what wrong with me.

Now I see things in a different light. First, if the women in this video don't have mates then something else must be afoot because they are all beautiful and accomplished. Second, I realize that maybe, deep down, I cherish my independence and freedom too much, to want to share with anyone. I like who I am with all my quirks and don't want to change. Why should I? Add to that, relationship people ( you the type who always speak in terms of "we") really annoy me. And married women who feel that the goal in life was to get a man marry them, just are not my type of people.

Now I don't bad about turning the brother in accounts who smokes a pack a day, has bad teeth and 2 kids and 2 baby mamas.

This clip really gives me more to think about

That's feel bad about turning down accounts guy and crusty security guards.

1) Every Black educated woman isn't a good one.

2) Every Black educated man isn't a good one.

3) Every old Black man isn't a good one.

4) Every Black blue collar man isn't a good one.

5) Men have it sort of twisted. I am in DC and I hear so many men who are top notch, complaining about not being able to find suitable wives. What it boils down to is that in their 20's they played around assuming women would be there later. It's later. They can't find the chick who looks like Beyonce, speaks like Michelle Obama, AND loves their dirty drawers.

6) I stay having a man--not just for dating. They are into committed relationships with me. I'm not sure I want to get married though. I always feel bad when we get to that point in the relationship and I'm like >SHRUG< . I waffle between the picket fence AND kids, just the picket fence, or extending this whole kicking it thing a bit longer.

I avoid these types of shows , because it's always the same drivel. How about there are just women out there - like men - who just do not want to be married? I don't see anything wrong with that, as long as there is honesty on all sides.

I agree with many of the posters above, especially this point by Ms Smart:

5) Men have it sort of twisted. I am in DC and I hear so many men who are top notch, complaining about not being able to find suitable wives. What it boils down to is that in their 20's they played around assuming women would be there later. It's later. They can't find the chick who looks like Beyonce, speaks like Michelle Obama, AND loves their dirty drawers.

Also, I live in an area where there are not many Black Men, and I am not inclined at this moment to date outside my race. That isn't saying that I won't ever - its just saying that I have never met anyone outside of my race that I've ever been attracted to. But then, how many articles and sites have I perused which have SLAMMED AfAm men and women for dating/marrying outside of their race? Its a vicious circle.

I mean, from the intro the question was, "Are their standards too high or are their pickings few?" So we have established the parameters of the problem. It has nothing to do with white supremecy that sets notions of beauty or racism that puts Black men in jail disproportionately. That would take more than 7 minutes and would have to actually take on deeper subject matter (journalism?) than just this new trend of using the poor Black woman for fodder and new book tours.

Im sick of all this too, but at the very least it could be an advertisement that BLACK WOMEN WILL DATE MEN WHO ARE NOT BLACK. I mean, can we get a PSA out of the deal?

Love how they just glossed right over the comment pertaining to Black women not being, again, part of the standard of beauty in the country. They also didn't care to delve into the white-guy incident at the bar (the one who didn't ask for her number). Too much. Stick to the script. Black women are too much, Black men too little. Thanks.

I was married to a dude who thought it was cute to run the streets, buy cars we didn't need, and not think about having a future or family. I was married for 8 years to a man who like to a player and not a real man. Now the next man that I date, I want him to want a future and not a grown ass thug who thinks it is cute to wear braids and hip hop gear at 40+.

My list:
have a relationship with God
have a decent job.
not nasty or thuggish
not have a bunch of kids with different women.
no down low tendency
can be of a different race
.

I know this isn’t simple. But there really aren't enough black males for black women..
According to the American Community Data Survey, table S0201. Selected Population Profile in the United States as of 2008,
There are 13,536,163 African American Men that are 15 years and over
There are 15,467,480 African American Women that are 15 years and over

In the total U.S. Population, there are 37,586,050 African Americans.
47.7% are male
52.3% are female..
THE FACT is there are MORE black women then black men. For every one black male, there are two black women. There will always be single black women if they decide to limit themselves to ONLY black males. It's really stupid to do. The only solution is for black women to expand their options. If they don’t it is a black woman's fault for her not changing her situation. It means black women have to start looking other places. DO NOT lower your standards.. No other group is told to do so. Why should black women? If you are alone and are marriage minded it means you have to change your environment and expand your dating options because what you are doing is not working.. Any way who wants the same ole menu when you can have a buffet of choices? ;-)

Here're some comments on this sgement on World Wide Hip Hop:
On Steve Harvey: OLE MR PATATO HEAD, SUPER MARIO BROTHERS MUSTACHE HAVING ASS NUGGA. ALWAYS RUNNING HIS MOUTH ON SOMETHIN
On the show in general: fu k dez hoes take care of ya moms ma nig.. let them white boyz have the headache... i do what i want all day everyday.. who what a braud hatin on they get down everyday all day then get half a nig $ on the way out to spend and trick on the next sucka

or

Its hard for successful black women to get married the same reason why its hard for blk women to get married ingenral. They are loud, rude, violent, dum, money hungry, and uncultured. Thats why I dont mess with sista no more.

or

Bitches standards 2 high nigga not gonna put up with all these needs and wants yall chick wants. See dumb bitch didn't ask dude for his number that's why ur ass is alone to many needs and wants and so call high standars

So my take--yes too many women have bizarre standards. Maybe y'all need to bag that nerd you ignored after you got out of Howard in favor of the slick criminal, maybe some of you need to press the white boys harder. But the fact remains (from the comments) that too many black men are friggin ignorant clowns. We need to get our heads right. Start thi nking like jews instead of thugs. Start dressing in normal clothes. Start speaking the kings English and aspiring to more than getting our rappin demo out to clubs. It starts young. It's all in our heads. We DESERVE to loose black women to white boys. How's the thug or old playa or or down low queer (like Tyler Perry and legion of other celebs and athletes) or bullsh*t Tyler Perry-ish saintly "blue collar brotha" paradigm been working out for us?

Steve Harvey's advice to seek out older men seems self-serving.

The other problem a lot of have is that they're too passive. The term "seek out" men is really a misnomer since women really don't do that. Rather, they sit passively and wait for a man to make the first move. Men go after what we want and that's why we're not sitting around whining about how we can't find "good" women. The clip above shows my point when the woman brushed-off the notion of asking for the white guy's phone number. I believe she said something to the effect of "I don't do that." She has no right to complain anymore about her sorry dating life because she had the chance to be with someone she liked but she was too proud (more likely cowardly) to ask for the man's phone number.

I live in Mpls where the black woman greatly outnumber black men but the white ratio is nearly 1:1. I could do this same piece with my white girl friends. They are having the same issue but it is not talked about as much. I think we are in the midst of a larger cultural shift where the number of marrieds is going down in general. I'd love to see some coverage of this topic minus race as a determining factor.

@kisha- Black women are not opposed to dating outside of their race. But contrary to what some people believe, low character men come in all colors. Simply dating non-black men does not mean you will find Mr. Right. If that were the case, the divorce rate among whites would not be at a record high. The fact of the matter is that finding a good man, of any color, is extremely hard. The grass is NOT always greener.

Yes Chris, thats always established...with every show, blog, special etc. about black men. I agree.

But if anyone dare talk about the other issues regarding marriage in the black community its just hating black women and blaming them. If people aren't going to be 100% real what is the point in discussing at all?

Kisha- There are many black women, in relationships with white men, who suffer in silence. Many white men have taken on the attitude that they are doing black women a favor. This is a side of interracial dating nobody wants to talk about. There are average looking white men who feel entitled to a black supermodel. They have heard all the stories about how difficult it is to find a good black man and are taking maximum advantage of the situation.

I said if I saw another article like that I would scream.***SCREAMS*** Okay now that this is over. It's the same old thing every damn time. Date out or lower your standards, blah, blah, blah. You don't here other people telling women of other races to date out. No black women have to swallow and date the men she is truly not attractive to suffer being alone. Also let's not kid ourselves like Renee said some black women don't want to get married nor or alot of black women the marrying type. It's always this sob story like all single educated black women have issues and they better date out and die with your cats. Some black women need to look with in and figure out what's going on because sometimes it's not the picking it's the person itself because lord know I truly don't have a problem getting a black man. Also Anonymous is right. For my friend who is engaged to a white guy I had a friend who was also not treated right by the white guy she was with. Either way it's like the Snob says if it happens great if he doesn't oh well. I'm not going to pull my hair out. Beside my 91-year old aunt just got married yesterday and both of them are retired edcaters. She being a classroom teacher and he a College professor. so there is hope don't worry about it. :)

Another question for those who saw this "special". Do they decrease the "suitable" black man population by removing those who have been in prison, aren't "educated" enough or suitable partners for socioeconomic reasons? And if so, do they do the same for black women? If not the stats are skewed. I'm going out on a limb and saying they don't decrease the black female population in the same manner.

Just one of many ways these reports are generally a big fail.

Totally agree with Symphony! They don't do those for black women. We talk about black men but they are a growing number of black women in prison as well along with everything else you mentioned. They just add us all up as the same. smh
In general: Why don't they show the married black women. In fact....why don't have a show were happily married black women give advice to single black women? Oh that's right....they have to show that majority of black women are lonely pitiful women. smh

*bangs head against wall*

1) have you seen the comments on the actual video...i swear people are so ignorant and racist when their identity isn't shown
2) all women of all races are crazy...i hate it when people say the blanket statements about women of different races.
3) i can appreciate the fact that America has taken interest in African Americans, because our first family is of African decent. at the same time, it arks me how the media is ready to point out whats wrong with our race/culture. Black women being the new definitive spinster, trying to understand why our natural hair texture isn't straight,etc
4) can we agree that all people of all races of their share of educated vs uneducated, poor vs rich and gender disparities between careers, marriage and parenting.
5) take responsibility, please...please take the time out to teach these young people that there is more to life that clothes,money,etc. please teach them that college may not be for everyone but it doesn't mean that you should stop leaning and care about what is going on the world and your community.
6) stop with the..." i only want a _____ man/woman" commitment and love is hard enough to find, don't restrict yourself to a certain type of man/woman

oy,life is hard...

@Jasmine: never I repeat. NEVER read the comments under those videos. You will go crazy!

I found absolutely nothing offensive about the report. Just another investigative/sociological report. These women want a quality man on their level to have a monogamous, committed relationship with. I don't blame them, after working so hard to get where they are, why should they hook up with a street cleaner, or a doorman? Just to say they have a man. They do need to open up to other possibilities though, maybe they need to explore dating accomplished black men from other cultures, or date Americans of other races.