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« Question of the Day: Why Is Unemployment So High For Blacks? | Main | Danielle's Journal: Breakin' Up Is Easy To Do (If You Don't Love Anyone) »
Saturday
28Nov2009

If Loving You Is Wrong I Might Try To Kill You With A Golf Club

The sweetest woman in the world, can be the meanest woman in the world ... if you make her that way.

One of the most annoying myths that men (of all races) often make about women (of different races) is that somehow, all brown women -- especially the black ones -- are mean or crazy or might throw hot grits on you or scream "GIT YO SH**" at the top of our lungs while we set all your belongings on fire in the driveway. That somehow white women (and often Asian women are lumped in here too) are just these nice, passive, docile creatures who would never, ever say a harsh word or curse you out or lift a finger in anger.

I believe the saying goes, "Hell hath no fury like a WOMAN scorned." It doesn't specify just us black harridans.

More after the jump.

Which brings us to the case of one super star golfer Tiger Woods and his wife Elin and the golf club she used to either:

A) free him after a car accident that oddly took place at the end of their driveway

B) tried to beat the living daylights out of him using an instrument of delicious irony

*Need to get caught up on the story? Read here, here and here. (Watch out for the curse words in that last link! They're a doozie!)

I can't pretend to know all the facts. None of us can. None of us were there. I just know if it's almost 3 a.m. and you're trying to leave your house and your wife of six years -- mother of your two children -- has a golf club in her hand and she's a-swinging this is not because she's decided to get in some early morning practice. It looks like someone is channeling their inner Brenda Richie, but with deadly intent. And golf clubs.

The moral of this story is, all women are capable of just about anything if you push them far enough. Regardless of race or socio-economic background. A white woman is just as likely to mow you down with her car repeatedly as a Latina woman is likely to take a knife to your ding-a-ling as a black woman is likely to set your house on fire. I'd advice, menfolk, if you'd like to keep your things from getting broken (or from having your things used to break you), perhaps you should keep your special parts to yourself and not go dilly-dallying with every overly friendly tart you meet.

Just some advice. Or ... I don't know. Don't ever wife n' kid up some woman, make her feel all special and expect her to be OK with you running around. Stay single. You can still have kids. Ask Puffy.

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Reader Comments (73)

It goes without saying that all women are capable of violence when provoked. And all men should respect the bounds of a marriage or relationship. Women must, in the end, learn to control their tempers or face the consequences of battering their mates (jail time). A bogus excuse may not save them the next time.

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDavid Wise

I just want to testify to the bold truth of the Black Snob... Not only am I a white woman but I have had years of non violence training and have taught non violence philosophy and techniques to young activists. That said, the night my boyfriend was out with that blond chick his stuff was on fire in my yard...

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPeggy Sue

LOL...ain't that the truth.

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPatient

I don't quote the Bible often, but the good book says "Hell hath no fury like a WOMAN scorned."

Maybe because it sounds Jacobean e.g. from the King James era ( he of KJV fame) you think its from the Bible? its not. It is, old & (English).

Pedagogics out of the way, Your post's about l El Tigre ;-) are always funny. Golf clubs as The Jaws of Life, it could so happen!

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdilettante

ditto

the shameless spin control on this glaring swirled dui/domestic brawl is hilarious to witness...

and he is reportedly having an affair with a younger blonder model...like rage, infidelity is colorless!

peace,
alicia banks
eloquent fury

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered Commenteralicia banks

That' was the funniest post I've ever read!!!!
I was on the floor.

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJP

No, most women are not capable of anything, Snob. It's one thing to trash a guy's apartment or set his clothes on fire or key his car. It's another thing to take a blunt object to a person's head. Yes, she took a swing at his head with the golf club and that's why he was unconscious with a mouth full of blood, yet there's not a trace of blood in the vehicle.

I've been enraged my a man before and I've never attempted to do anything to kill him. Excusing this as something that any woman would do is just as silly as saying any man could pull a Chris Brown and beat the hell out of his woman cause she dared to question who was texting him.

This Elin is a violent person. This is not the kind of thing most women do. Had she just smashed out the windows, fine. But she took a swing at his head with a golf club. That's foul and I don't find the comedy in this situation that a lot of people are getting. Had this been Tiger who knocked her the fuck out with a freakin' golf club, no one would be laughing. He could have been killed. The two of them know how serious this is, and that's why they are avoiding the cops. This is a straight up domestic violence situation. Tiger needs to leave just lie Rhianna needed to leave Chris. If they do it once, they'll do it again. I'd hate to see this end as yet another tragic Steve McNair type of situation.

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTS

Tiger thought he got another dumb white girl that would just roll over and take it. Somebody neglected to tell homeboy that when you screw over the wrong white girl she will open a CASE of crazy on your black ass. Damn dummy.

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJim

I'm co-signing wholeheartedly with TS - if this has been a situation where Tiger had been reported to have gone after his wife with nothing more than his open hand. You can bet the media would be in a flaming meltdown with screaming headlines such as "Tiger tries to do an OJ on his wife" complete with PLENTY of photos of blond Elin and a couple of Tiger, with his face conveniently darken.

I can identify and sympathize with the pain that any woman goes through when confronted by the news or proof that her husband/bf/partner has cheated on her. I came home to find my ex in our bed with another woman. But despite the crushing pain and anger that I felt, no way in hell was that man worth going to jail over. It was simply much easier to pack his stuff and send him walking.

I don't see any humor whatsoever in this situation between Tiger and Elin. Going after her husband with a golf club intent on doing him harm, shows that Elin has some serious anger management issues, just the same as Chris Brown has.

And lets not forget for one nano-second that Tiger is a multi-millionaire {reportedly a billionaire} - so Elin is one of those rare and very lucky wives, who don't have worry about herself and the kids ending up homeless without any means of support.

November 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBrendaKay

The fact that the sponsored ad at the top of the page asks, "Do you know the secret to the perfect [golf] swing?" is beyond brill.

November 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterErica K

I guess I'm the only one who doesn't find this situation amusing. If it's true that she attacked her husband with a gulf club, Elin should be arrested and charged with assault. She could have killed him! Just imagine if the tables were turned - Elin confesses to cheating (or even getting pregnant) by someone else and Tiger's reaction was to have a violent outburst, scratch-up his wife's face, and chase her out of her home with a deadly bludgeon. Trust me, no one would be snickering. Outrage would abound.

Violence is never okay and this is not funny at all. I only hope through some miracle the kids were able to sleep through it all.

November 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterme

me,

I've been kind of disgusted by the reaction to the whole thing. The police are saying the injuries were not a result of the crash, but from Ellin Woods. He was unconscious for 6 minutes. She beat him in the head, period. That's dangerous, not humorous or common. I keep reading stuff about this and all the comments are like "Go girl!" or "If you ask me, he got off easy!", or "I would have done the same thing!", all from women, mind you. And you're right. Had Tiger done the exact same thing to her because he heard about an alleged affair, there would be no jokes or humorous blog posts. Tiger Woods would be under the jail right now and Nike would be dropping him like a hot potato, and rightfully so.

So why the double standard with women? I doubt his family finds this situation to be humorous. The wife needs anger management and prison time, just like any other person who assaults their spouse with deadly weapon.

November 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTracy

everyone is capable of anything. we all have that point. and whoever doesn't think they're not capable are deluded.

this gets a great big "DUH"

November 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterswiv

If I had to put money on the situation, I would say this was not TIger's first indiscretion. This was probably the first one that was publicized. It's one thing to know your husband is a cad, it's something altogether different to have that crap thrown in your face. I would think the lack of discretion hurt more than the adultery. That's the kind of thing make will make even the most docile person snap.

And you know that woman had to be some kind of mad to run behind a big ass Escadalde with a golf club in an affluent neighborhood at 2 in the damn morning. Not only did she stop the truck, but she pulled him out. What in the world?

He has made every effort to distance himself from "black pathology". Now, it does not matter what he accomplishes from this point forward. The straight ghetto a** image of his wife chasing him with a golf club (in place of a rolling pin, cast iron skillet, or stacked heel) has been seared into America's consciousness.

November 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMonica

You guys are sooo much more thoughtful and adult than I am today ;-)

All I can think of when I see the news updates is Jazmine Sullivan....."huh huh I bust the windows out ya car"

http://www.hulu.com/watch/85101/glee-bust-your-windows

Who knew white women became upset at cheating husbands....I keep hearing from BM only black and Latino women get upset at cheating shenanigans.

Ewwwww.....golf club to the head.

Maybe Saudi women will be the next rage...I understand they cannot drive or are not allowed the leave the house with a male family member.

November 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterknockoutchick

Visually and symbolically nothing in the world of prurient gossip can "beat" this :-)

A petite Swedish blonde wife chasing her black golfer husband down the driveway with a golf club.

She was standing over him when EMS arrived...brings to mind the famous Ali photo when he knocked out
Sonny Liston!

November 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterknockoutchick

From the description of his injuries I don't think she actually hit him with the golf club. They said he had "facial lacerations," meaning cuts or scratches. A strike from a golf club wouldn't do that. That would leave him with bruises or contusions, but highly unlikely to cause lacerations. From the scene described I would imagine that she scratched him in the face during a fight and he was trying to get away. Then she chased him and broke out the rear windows of the vehicle with the golf club.

November 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRoslyn Holcomb

Funny, I thought Tiger was famous for his long drives.

Lastly, Tiger was not cheating, he was taking a Mulligan in the marriage.

Wenzel,

What?

November 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterliz

I'm loving the golf analogies Wenzel. Tiger wanted a do-over or he wants to reconsider screwing around?

November 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMonica

what would make a 110 pound when wet White woman pick up a GOLF CLUB ON THANKSGIVING?

pure -d-RAGE.

smartest thing he did was leave the house.

November 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterrikyrah

He has made every effort to distance himself from "black pathology". Now, it does not matter what he accomplishes from this point forward. The straight ghetto a** image of his wife chasing him with a golf club (in place of a rolling pin, cast iron skillet, or stacked heel) has been seared into America's consciousness.

BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA

the truth is far stranger than fiction.

November 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterrikyrah

1. According to all the news reports I heard, the lacerations on his face was not caused by the crash but reportedly by his wife.

2. Reportedly, she was beating his car with the golf club. Whether or not she was trying to get to his head is unknown.

3. Domestic violence is never funny, true. In the case of Rihanna and Chris Brown, a majority of young women were very much pro-Chris Brown and declared that Rihanna deserved the beating. So it isn't necessarily a double standard regarding domestic violence. It appears that women are just more pro-violence in domestic situations.

B) tried to beat the living daylights out of him using an instrument of delicious irony

I did laugh when I first heard the story because of the irony.

November 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterbrooklynshoebabe

"In the case of Rihanna and Chris Brown, a majority of young women were very much pro-Chris Brown and declared that Rihanna deserved the beating."

really?????

sources?

November 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterswiv

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