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« The World Is A Vampire (And So Is Sammy Sosa) | Main | BlackSnob Salutes the Troops »
Wednesday
Nov112009

Who's Afraid of Michael Steele? Nobody.

Oh, Uncle Mike! It’s been so long since I was amused by your antics. I’ve been busy, you see! With the move and the job and the life and all, so I hadn’t been playing a lick of attention to you. I’m sure you’ve done something else entertaining since we last talked, but this latest performance? The one where you said the white folks were afraid of you.

Can we talk?

More after the jump.

Have you ever seen the film “Mandingo?” It was made in the 1970s and told the story of a black slave who was used to box and “breed” other slaves. And that Mandingo, he was big and strong, and to some, kinda scary, because both his sexual prowess and his masculinity was seen as a threat to genteel white sensibilities in the Antebellum South? And you know how, towards the end, he gets it on with the loony white mistress because she can’t deal with how her husband gets it on with the black “wenches” all the time, and she wants revenge, but ends up pregnant and the end? You know the end, Uncle Mike, when they toss Mandingo into a boiling pot of oil and cook the Negro alive? That ending? Right. It was messed up, wasn’t it? Because the whole point of the film was that everyone was worried with what Mandingo was doing when he was probably the most harmless person in the movie.

Mother effer, you ain’t Mandingo. Ain’t nobody worried about you. You could be caught, buck naked, on top of … I don’t know … whitest white woman in the history of white women (Tilda Swinton?) and folks would just go, “That Michael Steele! He’s such a cut up. He must have slipped and fell on Tilda Swinton coming out of the shower! Hilarious!” And then they would put it on the YouTube and everyone would laugh and laugh! The fun we would have!

Good times.

When other white Republicans avoid you, Uncle Mike, believe me, it is not out of “fear,” unless by “fear” you mean, “Dear Lord! What is that man going to say this time! We already tried to strip him of as much power as we could! Why has God abandoned us in our time of need? Why Jesus, why!”

I’m just saying. You ain’t scary.

Matter of fact, me and my cyber play cousin, AverageBro, have a feeling that by the time this is over you’ll apologize and admit that you’re not scary. Because … you’re kind of a punk ass.

From AverageBro:

You and I can already see the talk radio calls for Steele's head, the Steele retraction, the subsequent blaming of the liberal media for twisting Steele's words coming. In fact, the apology will probably hit the wires before you read this.

Reality is, there's nothing even remotely scary about Mike Steele, except maybe those hideous The Steve Harvey HNIC Collection zoot suits.

He looks like a Muppet and who is afraid of Muppets? Muppets aren’t scary! They’re funny, Uncle Mike! And you, sir? You are effing HILARIOUS! Shine on, you crazy diamond!

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Reader Comments (15)

Best Blog Post ever!

November 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAdeshola Blue

Brilliant! Glad to know that his resonant sense of self importance is translucent and more along the lines of pure idiocy! Had a total dislike for him as our Lt. Governor (MD) and dislike him equally as the RNC Chair. Please "Steele" away Mike!

November 11, 2009 | Registered CommenterThe Fanny Pack

First, the kicker was when Steele told Martin that HE was probably MORE scary to white folks (check out Roland's expression upon hearing the news). That statement went over your head, Danielle, as it probably did with most people. I picked it up immediately. Secondly, Steele knows what the devil he's talking about. To the typical black person, Steele looks like a nerdy college professor. However, when he first enters a room full of white conservatives in the South, they are scared of him. All they see is dark skin and a tall figure standing over them. Later when white people recognize him and hear his spiel, of course, their attitude of him changes.

November 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDavid Wise

I am going to go off on a limb and co-sign (yes sign my name) Michael Mandingo Steele. I met Steele after his senate loss at a NAACP retreat event. There was a nice reception with food, drinks and a DJ. No man with his level of Soul Train Line skill and rhythm can be a real sell out.

He is obviously and oddly on the wrong side of history. Be he is not an oreo or uncle tom. I hereby co-sign Steele to temporary ghetto pass probation.

Ouch! In the words of Robin Harris, "Cut 'im low!"

November 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJD McCallum

@Wenzel Dashington nee Cooper...the image of Michael Steele getting his groove on almost made me rethink my opinion of him for a second. However, my main problem with his isn't that he's a sellout, it's that he's a bloomin' idiot, who constantly says stupid things and is clearly being used as a "look, we got us a darkie too" tool of the Republican Party. That he (maybe?) knows he's being used as such and is still up for the ride prevents me from respecting him even a little.

November 11, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdkan71

oops.. *with him* not his

November 11, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdkan71

Idiot is "idiot" no matter the color...

November 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCathyfc

Love it! Sadly I am from MD, where Mr. Steele was lt. gov, and I can think of three maybe four occasions when he was allowed to speak. He is being used as a racial pawn for the republican party. He's a very smart man, so he's an idiot for agreeing to this nonsense. I'm also pleased to hear he can do a mean cupid shuffle, but he needs to reevaluate what his job represents.

November 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBree

You can sit around talking about the republicans this and the republicans that all you want.

But those liberals think that you are less than human. They think of you as nothing more than microbial life under a slide or an animal to be observed.


White liberals are the ones who they make all of the "black music", "black movies", "black television shows", "black magazines", "black books (fiction/nonfiction)", and "black websites" for. They don't make that stuff for "blacks"


White liberals also need to believe in a caste system for you.


So keep moaning, groaning, and obsessing about the republicans. Its the white liberals who are f------g your mind over to maintain your place at the lowest position on their racial hierarchy.

November 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNot an idiot

I don't mind being f()cked by white liberals. I think it's great. Hee, hee

November 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDavid Wise

Well that's all we need to know about how your mind works.

November 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNot an idiot

You might not be an idiot, but your assertion that "white liberals" are the ones who make all black popular entertainment is way off base. One of my favorite TV shows about a black family, Lincoln Heights is exec. produced by a black woman - a Spelman grad at that. Now I'm going to list the names of a bunch of other black people that will make it clear that your statement is just a cliche and hardly based on empirical reality...here goes:
Lee Daniels, Kasi Lemmons, Jay Z, Ne-Yo, Timbaland, Tyler Perry, Oprah Winfrey, etc.
Sure BET is owned by a "white" company, but your broad generalizations are just shy of being the kind of thing Conspiracy Brother would talk about..that's a reference to Undercover Brother in case you didn't get it. You might be a tool, but that doesn't mean all of the rest of us are too.

November 12, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdkan71

dkan71,


If you would comprehend what you read, you would see that I said white liberals and independents are who they make all of this "black" media for. If you read carefully you will see that I did not say those are the people who create the media.


So the point still stands that liberals and independents believe that you are the lowest form of humanity and need to see and hear media that fulfills their beliefs. The conservatives don't even bother to try and hide their belief in your low life status.


Which is why it is amazing that blacks sit around moaning about them when it is the liberals and independents they should be girding their minds against.

November 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNot an idiot

Well black snob I am somehat disappointed, I know you love an Obama, but why do you not give black conservatives a chance, I for one am deeply against the Democrats or as we call them in England the Labour party and I am suprised at the loyalty of black people to the democrats.

All they really can offer is big government , more deficits and greater controls. Who built the failing education programmes? Democrats want to do away with home schooling. Now that is madness, but they know tha whoever controls the education will control the youth tomorrow.

Who built the projects? Big government is not the answer it can never be. The democrats only supported civil rights because it would allow them to have greater government. But blacks did not see that they were used as a steping stone.

But why would black people put all their eggs in one ssd basket? The democrats.

You need black Republican just to show America, that not all black people want to get rid of guns and the bill of rights.

Sure the Republican have often disapointed like George Bush jnr e=who was really a democrats who believed in government deficits, but it does not make sense to have no influence in the Republican party.

Does not believing in big government make one an uncle? So was Colin Powell also an uncle because he did not want to be a democrat?

The Democrats know how to exploit black people problems for their own good.

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdesign

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