The World Is A Vampire (And So Is Sammy Sosa)
Wednesday, November 11, 2009 at 1:00PM 
From Getty via HuffPoYou take a couple weeks off to move to D.C. and all sorts of news happens. The House passes historic health care legislation, Katt Williams gets arrested for burglary, highly disturbed people go on killing sprees and Sammy Sosa starts acting, obviously auditioning for the role of a lifetime as Nousferatu, the vampire!
What? He’s not trying out to be Latino Lestat? Skin rejuvenation, you say? Bad skin peel gone horribly awry, is it? And he started wearing green-eyed contacts, when?
From MLB Fanhouse:
"He is going through a rejuvenation process for his skin," Polihronis told the Chicago Tribune. "Women have it all of the time. He was surprised he came out looking so white. I thought it was a body double. Part of (the photo appearance) is just the lighting.
“He is in the middle of doing a cleansing process to his skin. The picture is deceiving. He said, 'If you saw me in person, you would be surprised. When you see me in person, it is not going to seem like the picture.' "
Some have insinuated that this could have been due to steroids. Riiiiiight. I know some really unfortunate black people I saw on the Tyra Show once who will happily OD on some steroids of it will give them an instant Halle Berry-fication of their complexion.
Which brings me to what is honestly the most dangerous about this. Some poor, self-loathing individual is going to take dear Sammy Sosa at his word and blow a grand on a skin peel that’s only going to scar them and royally screw up their complexion. And let’s be honest, he looks patently ridiculous right now. I mean, blotchy, spotted and ridiculous. Why would anyone do this to themselves on purpose? If anything, all he did was ever convince me more that Michael Jackson had Vitiligo. MJ’s skin at least looked UNIFORM and completely devoid of any pigmentation, almost to the point of being albino (as Vitiligo can do). And if in fact this is just a skin peel gone terribly, terribly wrong how does that story sound any better? I’m not a self-loathing black Latino! I’m a horribly VAIN black Latino who decided to wreck my face!
Which is why I’ve moved on to the third option suggested by mi amigo Elon James White – Sammy Sosa is a vampire. Seriously. He MUST be among the undead because I know that I wouldn’t be caught alive in public looking like this.
Your thoughts?
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Reader Comments (23)
Pass me the garlic, please.
fa realz...this is one of the most disturbing things I've seen in a while....and from other pics I've seen the wife doesn't seem to sure about this whole mess either.
so if he wants us to believe it's a skin rejuvenation/ cleansing process on his face that has gone horribly wrong....let's see his hands.
are they still chocolate or did he need to "cleanse" them too?
It has to be the lighting. It has to. Or Photoshop. They do amazing things with the Photoshoppage nowadays. Or the first picture was taken by a rank amateur in the dark. Or the second one was taken by a rank amateur with a Fisher-Price kiddie camera. No no no no no.
You cannot lighten your skin to that extent without your skin FALLING OFF. There was a Nigerian boxer who bleached his skin just from brown to a ruddy, dark red -- a much, much smaller degree than that Sosa photo -- and when he was injured in the ring his skin was so bad off, so damaged and thinned and frail, they could not put stitches in it, the thread ripped right through it.
I really don’t care if I’m in denial. I’m horrified and I need my denial to live. My god.
Sosa must have the same disease that MJ did.
I couldn't care less if he dyed his hair blonde? Now where is the stuff about Katt Williams being arrested for something? LOL
I mistook someone for you tonight at Elon's show in DC. Unless it was actually you being coy. If not, WHERE WERE YOU?? He was right on time.
LMAO
THIS FOOL LOOKS RIDICULOUS
I DIDN'T BELIEVE IT WHEN I FIRST SAW THIS
Sammy's from the Dominican Republic... If any of you are aware of the racial issues in that country then you will understand why his face looks like that.
http://www.stuff.co.nz/world/54605
WOW. just WOW.
WOW.
....
NO amount of lighting will turn a dark-skinned man into a light-skinned man...at least not to the extent that we're seeing in this pic. Sammy's overdosing on the Fair and Lovely apparently. (I was just in an Indian store recently where I saw that on the shelf, along with a color chart showing how much lighter it will get your skin. AND NPR's Morning Edition had a segment today describing how skin-whitening product manufacturers are now targeting Indian men.)
Mannn...not like Sammy and I would have ever been friends anyway but now I've got to put him in my "Self-Hating POC To Stay Away From" file. *smdh*
He's now admitting to bleaching his skin, well not really-
"I use a cream to keep my skin smooth and soft. I apply it before I go to bed. When I was playing for Chicago all those years, I was in the sun a lot for 1 o'clock games," said Sosa, who turns 41 today. "The flashes (from the cameras) also made my skin look lighter. I'm surprised with the controversy this has caused."
Sosa, who would not tell Dandrades the name of the cream he uses, did say that it is European and that he is in negotiations to market the product. He added that he wears colored contact lenses because he wanted to "try something different. I'm not trying to be superficial."
http://www.eurweb.com/story/eur57361.cfm
Funny how the 'lights from the camera must have lightened his skin'-his wife looks exactly the same shade in both pictures he took. And yes, him marketing this cream would be quite profitable, sadly.
That's definitely bleaching cream. He even admited that he can't go out in the sun after using the "cream", which is a side effect of bleaching cream. It makes you skin sensitive to the sun. The Dominican Republic has a notoriously negative attitude toward black skin but I figured after 41 years, he was over that kind of nonsense.
Howdidudat?
How much longer might he expect to live after doing that to himself?
Sunburn, rosacea, wrinkles, 5 o'clock shadow, flushing ... it's not worth it Sammy!
Will the skin start to fall off next month?
@MsDuende
Alas, I missed the show. I was tired. And it was cold and wet outside. I stayed, nice n' cozy, at home.
I am in pain just thinking about the amount of bleaching cream, or the STRENGTH of bleaching cream, that must require. He must be burning all the damn time.
Hey Sammy, is it available in the US yet?
i need some for my chin.
i literally wanted to throw up when i first saw this picture. between the perm, the contacts and the skin, i just feel incredible sadness for him.it cant feel good to have access to anything and still hatge yourself.
self-hatred to the nth degree.
Wow, he almost looks as white as the illustration top right of this blog...
Hey Sammy, is it available in the US yet?
November 12, 2009 | Michael Steele
*deader than Sosa's epithelial cells*
Even if someone doesn't buy the notion that Sosa has a self-loathing problem, there is still something fishy going on.
If the guy's lotion or whatever did that to him and he was "surprised" that it altered his skin, then you'd think he'd at least ask the company to return his money.
But noooooo! He wants to ENDORSE the product!
The guy is experimenting with himself; he should just come right out and say it.