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Larry Johnson, Lover of British Slang (Guest Post)

By Jonathan Pitts-Wiley

This whole Larry Johnson Twitter kerfuffle is all one big misunderstanding. It’s true; dude loves ‘fag,’ but not for the reasons you might think.

Understandably, ‘fag’ can be seen as a derogatory term used for homosexuals, but if you think it starts and ends with that, you’re just showing your lack of culture. Larry? He’s been places, seen things. He knows fag can mean lots and lots of things.

Do you really think he would be foolish enough to call someone a fag in that small-minded American way you understand it? On Twitter of all places? That’s just laughable. Larry may seem a beast on the playing field, but off it, he’s a man of Arts and Letters. That being the case, he brings a measured perspective to his life off the field. Derogatory statements and actions are generally beneath him and even if they were not, he’d have the foresight not to make those thoughts or actions know to the public.

So everyone just needs to take a deep breath and maybe learn a lesson while they’re at it.

See, when Larry says “You fag!” he’s really just telling the person in question that they need to check themselves before things get out of hand. He hates to “harsh peoples’ buzz” in that manner, but sometimes, he can’t help but feel the need to defend himself against the slings and arrows of outrageous slander. But he’s still keeping it civil, even in moments of anger. It’s other people who are getting it wrong.

When Larry calls someone a fag, he’s talking about people who engage in daily, dispirited drudgery; someone who toils at menial tasks while he lives in the lap of luxury as a well-paid professional athlete.

When he calls someone a fag, he’s just letting them know they are nothing more than a blemish on a piece of fabric; an imperfect loose end to his well-tailored bespoke-ness.

Being a big-time pro athlete and all, Larry likes to keep in shape and make sure his body is in peak physical condition. And he can’t do that smoking cigarettes. Cigarettes are an insult to his temple. So when he calls someone a fag, he’s not only taking an anti-smoking stance, he’s personally telling that person “Hey, you’re bad for me! You get outta here!”

So you guys lay off Larry Johnson. And get your culture up while you’re at it.

And don’t worry about those women he mushed in night clubs last year. That was a Maori mating ritual.


Jonathan Pitts-Wiley is a contributor at The Root based out of New York City. You can check out more of his work at his website, Pitts Indeed.

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Reader Comments (9)

IIRC in British slang the word "fag" is used as a euphimism for cigarettes, a shortened version of faggot which used to be the term to refer to several sticks tied together, often used in a fire, and I believe that term came from the Latin word Fasces which were a symbol of power in ancient Rome. So this post doesn't make sense to me. I guess the point is that this dude is full of BS?

October 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLisa J

Yes, full of BS.

October 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterScott

Bloody 'ell!!!
Fag is a cig! Best no-filter. Like 'em foul Gauloises the Frogs smoke.

October 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLite Bread

Do you know what the British translation of "rubber" is? My kids go to an international school and used that word with me oneday. Fortunately, I'd heard British football (i.e. soccer) sensation David Beckham explain what it was, saying that he needed to teach his sons to say "eraser" instead when they moved to America lest there be some unfortunate misunderstanding. Can you imagine hearing your 6 year old daughter talk about a rubber and you don't speak British? Not a good look.

October 28, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermswoodenshoes

Hilarious article! Thing is most Brits know the different meanings, it's the yanks that get all muddled lol

October 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterOlivia

Seems like he's just trying to get out of KC...though harshly!

October 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCDF

When the NFL, NBA etc. discovered Twitter they thought it would be great marketing tool, something to get young people involved. Then they found out that most athletes are morons. News flash.

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