Tiger Woods and wife, Elin: The whitest white woman he could find. He had to go all the way to Sweden! White American chicks have too many impurities in them. Nope. He needed the whitest of the white. Those American white women might have some Native American, Latino, Irish, Italian, secret Negro ancestry. Best to play it safe and get your white girl imported from overseas from the land of gorgeous white women.
To: SCAN HQ, Medical Ward, Infectious Disease Prevention Unit
From: Lt. Dr. Stankonimilitant, Stank psychologist, Drop Squad
The Siren Song of White Women a.k.a. S2W2: Contagious and Spreading
Black men are attracted to many things: Playstation, The NBA, Stacy Adams shoes, rims, etc. to name a few. These things are irresistible. They are wanted, desired and acquired by many Negro males across
But what has consistently been the most disturbing “Must Have” item in black
Just like the rush to get the new
Black women are consistently disturbed by the trend. Their reaction is visceral, especially if the white woman is in the former “less-than-stellar” category.
Stankonimilitant has judiciously been studying this trend as part of his “Captain Save a Negro” or CSN research. As always the results of this particular trend are disturbing.
According to both the 1990
The overall percentage of black-white pairings is small (only 4.6 percent of blacks marry whites). But the trend is particularly galling when one looks at the number of black/white pairings of our “Negroes of Note,” i.e. your athletes, actors, successful black entrepreneurs, CEOs and celebrities.
- Stereotypes of black women being overweight, overbearing, attitudinal, sassy, etc.
- The notion that marrying white is marrying up.
- The belief that white women are nicer or more submissive than black women.
- The notion that a blond, attractive white woman is a trophy or a prize to be won and paraded about with pride (see “Woods, Tiger”)
- The misleading idea that white women are the pinnacle of Western beauty.
Unfortunately this last notion of white Western beauty is the number one reason most black men have fallen under this false ideology. This syndrome is known as the "Siren Song of White Women" disorder a.k.a S2W2. (The name comes from the Odyssey where the hero had to be tied to the ship's mast after hearing an alluring song by the murderous Sirens bidding him to come to the island, and ultimately his doom.)
This is not a new phenomenon. SCAN has been dealing with S2W2 for decades – from boxing legend Jack Johnson’s penchant for the whitest of white women to William Jonathan Drayton, Jr. a.k.a. “Flavor Flav’s” foolishness over Bridgette Nielsen. These acts have been chronicled before. It was examined in length in SCAN’s 1933 edition of the SCAN Public Negro Handbook, Chapter One, “Hate Mail and Death Threats, How to Avoid Them”:
(D)on't date a white woman. We can't say this enough to our male Negroes of note. One should not attempt this if you want to reduce your chances of dying in a horrible and/or undignified manner. We have a saying at SCAN, "Stay ALIVE. Marry a Negress!"
Surprising fact! Did you know that Negro men of fame who marry their same race tend to run at least a 50 percent chance of not dying by lynching, drowning, gun shot, several gun shots, poisoning, stabbing, public beatings, private beatings or electrocution? Negro women aren't just beautiful and loving, my Colored men of success - they'll keep you alive. Think about it!
Sage advice if there ever was any, however this condition has cut a wide path through the black male population. This condition is at epidemic levels. And not only has it afflicted black males, Stankonimilitant has noticed Latinos, Arabs, South and Pacific Asians infected with S2W2.
To better understand the signs of S2W2, Stankonimilitant has infiltrated various black man/white woman havens such as
Close observation has shown that often these men suffer from a “two-ness” when it comes to white woman attraction/black woman desire. Repeatedly Stankonimilitant observed black men routinely lusting after black women with large derrieres (neé badunkadunks, apple bottom, phat booty and a host of other names.)
These men often brag about their prowess for black women, some even casting admiring glances at the Jet Beauties of the Week pictures taped up in secure locations like black Barber Shops and auto body/mechanic shops.
And theses men often engage in a variety of exclamations, including many "Lord have mercy"s and "Daaaaayum"s upon sight of a “phatty” – The best example being Charles Barkley’s lust for singer Beyonce Knowles despite being married to a white woman.
This is especially startling. Despite finding black women attractive these men continuously pursue and even marry white women with the flattest of asses, seemingly going against the black man’s own love of “babies who indeed possess back.”
Amazingly very few white women have the black male's primary attraction marker (with exception to the ubiquitous Kim Kardashian) yet black males continue to seek white women out.
The following is an exchange, Stankonimilitant had with “Negro of Note (NON)” at NBA All-Star Weekend who was attending the game with a lithe blonde. As soon as she was outside of earshot, the man engaged me in a conversation regarding actress Gabrielle Union who was coaching one of the celebrity basketball teams.
NON: Mmm. Mmm. Mmm!
NON: Lookie dere, lookie dere. Mmm!
STANK: Oh, you’re referring to …
NON: Damn, she fine. I’d drink her bathwater.
STANK: She is quite lovely.
NON: Lovely? She is fine. That girl is fine. Look at that ass!
STANK: It is a nice ass. Are you drooling?
NON: NICE? It is banging. Whoo. If I wasn’t married.
NON: I’d get into that. Sho nuff.
STANK: Well, your wife, Vicki she’s a lovely …
NON: Yeah, she’s aight, but nothin like that.
STANK: Oh. OK.
NON: Woo-wee! Dat ass!
STANK: Um … I think Gabrielle can hear you.
NON: Shizz, I don’t give a fuck. She need to come get some of this pipe.
STANK: There’s no need to curse nor be vulgar.
NON: Look at the booo-taaaay! (sees wife returning) Oh snap.
[NON’s wife, Vicki, sits down between us. NON ogles her implants and bright, whitened teeth smile.]
VICKI: What are ya’ll doin’?
NON: Nuttin. Nuttin. Just watching the game. Did you find the bathroom all right?
NON: What that on your face? (Removing a stray eyelash off her cheek) Make a wish!
VICKI: (blows eyelash off NON’s finger, giggles) You are so silly.
NON: (flirting) What did you wish for?
VICKI: I’ll never tell.
[NON begins tickling Vicki and engaging in baby talk for the next 20 minutes. Growing nauseous Stank goes to the bathroom to get himself together.]
Later NON and Stank would discuss the virtues of Pamela Anderson, Jenny McCarthy,
In terms of treatment, Stankonimilitant advises the harshest methods possible. Through some connections at the Pentagon, Stankonimilitant has gotten access to some decommissioned locations. SCAN could run a program called “Dynamic Yield Memory Enhancement” or DYME for short.
D.Y.M.E’s premise is simple – to de-mystify white women and to undo the negative stereotypes surrounding black women. This infomercial from SCAN would work for the later. For the former, some celebrity surgeries gone wrong might help, i.e. Jenna Jameson, Melanie Griffith and Tara Reid.
Have to end this report here, got an invitation to another NBA game.
This post was written by Dr. Stankoniforous for SCAN.