Name: Alfred Charles Sharpton
Occupation: You fools know who I am, this is the fifth application I've filled out. I killed Don Imus. Killed HIM. What the fuck have ya'll done but get Obama elected? I coulda done that shit if you hadn't had me and that punk bitch Mitt Romeny with paper sacks on our heads like the fucking "Unknown Comic" or some shit. Ya'll bogus as hell.
Why do you think you deserve to be a member of this organization: I'm the shit. Have you seen this perm? Fly as hell. And white folks are scared shitless of me. Did I mention I KILLED DON IMUS?
SCAN members are often asked to sacrifice everything for the cause of Negro advancement. How far are you willing to go?: I will go on CNN, MSNBC, FOX News, CBS, NBC, ABC, even the fucking BBC. I'll pull a full Ginsburg for my people in a hot minute!
(More after the jump!)