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General Snobbery
« From the Front: SCAN's "Littlest" Agent | Main | Gone to Arkansas! »
Wednesday
Mar262008

Diversify Your Mind

Professional celebrity black people actors Dule Hill and Nicole Lyn; rapper Kanye West and fiancee Alexis. None as nuts as you may think they are. Well ... actually, Kanye might be nuts, but he still scores very highly on the blackness aptitude test for saying "George Bush doesn't care about black people" on live television. We at SCAN appreciate people who put the interests of our people ahead of their need to be non-activist, race mutes who only value money and placating a crossover fan base. In the common parlance, Kanye "kept it real." Did I use that right? I'm not sure if that's the right usage ... Oh, it is? OK. Good then. Keep it real, Kanye!

When job needs to be done … when there’s a task at hand … SCAN has one question …

Have you considered a black person?

We know that to the uninitiated that might sound crazy, but did you know there are more than 22 million Americans who define themselves as being black or black affiliated? And most of those black people, despite what you’ve seen on VH-1 or BET, are SANE!

Yes! As sane and non-controversial as Mr. and Mrs. White Bread America. Only a black couple would be Mr. and Mrs. Wheat Bread America. And you know what they say about wheat – it’ll keep you regular!

And don’t you want to be regular?

We’re not all Flavor Flavas. We’re more like Theo Huxtable. But blacker. And better looking, even edgy! Like Touré or bell hooks or Wayne Brady.

Diversify your mind!

Think black. It’s like white, but not white. And in a good way!

This advert was brought to you by the Secret Council of American Negroes. Yours in shared sacrifice and glory since 1865.

Reader Comments (3)

Dear SCAN,
Is there anything you could do to turn Dule Hill's eye my way? I watched all 8 seasons of the West Wing just for him...sigh...

Yours in struggle,
WNG

March 27, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWNG

awesome

March 27, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKieya

That Dule is sure something tasty. I was introduced to him when he was Punk'D and I was like "Wooow."

April 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymiss

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better people

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