Fear of Commitment (To A Hairstyle)
Sunday, June 28, 2009 at 9:00AM 
I have never been able to decide between "curly" and "straight." Even when I had a relaxer I still would spend hours putting my head in spiral curls longing for the natural look. Obviously as a wee Snob I rocked the 'fro. Then as I came of age my mother attacked me with the pressing comb. Eventually I graduated to chemical straighters at 13, but quit them cold turkey at 22. I chopped off all my hair and went au natural. But after going curly I found myself wanted to see my hair straight at times. So it was back to the pressing comb. I've had a ton of other hairstyles not pictured in-between curly and straight (braids, cornrows, dreds, an afro, twists, spiral locks, a bob, etc.) but I mostly flit between long and pressed straight or short and curly.
I have no idea what's my best look. The best picture I ever took is that one on the right bottom corner with my hair nice, natural and curly. But I just recently had the mane pressed straight and cut (because the ends were gnarly and my hair looked disastrous), and I'm once again smitten by rocking a long swishy ponytail. (Which I am as I type this morning.)
My hair is the one thing I will admit to absolute vanity about. I have hair complexes. So many complexes the complexes have complexes. Years of everyone making a fuss over it, including yours truly, have caused me to tie about 80 percent of my appearance into my hair. If my hair looks cute I think I'm gorgeous. If it looks bad, I think I look horrendous. There's no in-between. No matter how embarrassing I enjoy the attention I get for it. Although I do get annoyed by the hair fetishes of some menfolk. Nothing is worse that a dude who acts like long straight hair is magical then whines when he finds out the magic happens with a lot of moisturizer and a doo-rag. I am not white. This shit does not do this by happenstance, Mr. I Wanna Girl With Swishy But Non-Oily Hair. And I refuse to get another perm so you'll have to live with me occasionally smelling like someone set a jar of Dudley's on fire.
My mother enjoys attacking me with a pressing comb from time to time because, bless her heart. She kinds of hates the natural. She loves me, but she always thought my hair looked better straight. The constant lie she would repeat was "It's easier to maintain." Um. No. I have a ton of hair. It's a bitch no matter what I do with it. Unless I rock a baldy, this shizz is going to be work. The reality is she gave birth to a child with a lot of hair. Fell in love with it and how it looked and can't bear to see it any other way than straight. It just "looks better" in her opinion. I'm poor and she'll chastise me for a 99 cent Blockbuster Video rental, but will encourage a $70 visit to the salon. She's got a bad hip and if I so much as look like I'm going to flat iron it, she runs and heats up the hot comb for old times sake. She was enraptured seeing my hair as it is currently in those top three photos. Her hair work from when I was a tyke had return to her in all its straight glory. Hilarious.
It'll be an afro again in two weeks. Hope she takes a lot of pictures.
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Reader Comments (26)
if my mother did know what a pressing comb was-- she never let on. In the humid Maryland climate-- I keep a barrette, headband, oven and flat irons handy. the weather and my exercise schedule get the final say.
Your hair looks very nice, Danielle. I think straight looks better on you. Please don't call me a stalker or obsessed fan. Thank you. Hee, hee
Hey I rock a Cesar.
I haven't had a hair cut in months and everyone says "Oh you're letting your hair grow back."
i respond, "No. I just haven't been to the barber."
And they promptly respond with the disappointed, "Oh."
LOL
I think your hair looks great either way. I'm a fan of the natural myself.
You're beautiful either way, but I do prefer the curls. I'm a girl of the eighties. I love big hair! I wish I had a head full of gorgeous curls.
I think both look incredibly good on you. I believe in rocking the hairstyle you feel at the time. It is just hair, but more importantly it's your hair, so it should suit your style and moods. My fav. pics are the second on the top and third on the bottom. I think you look equally good in both pics. You have a face that can rock full and sleek styles. You better work!
Both look great on you, but I do always prefer natural hair.
Hey Danielle,
I'm loving the straight! But I liked the braids you got in DC (?) too, those were extra cute.
I'm not a fan of big hair, so if you wanna stick with natural, I'd definitely encourage the braids over the curls. And braids are a bit cheaper and easier to maintain than a perm.
Keep up the good work!!
I love versatile hair. You look fine with both types of styles. I would just go with which ever you are feeling. Don't stick with one.
This is part of what makes you feel like a sister to me. It doesn't matter what you do with your hair--your personality always shines through your writing, and soon this will be evident to others as you do more television appearances. I loved the twists you had when you were here in DC.
That said, I am a big fan of Change. Always keep them guessing, and definitely don't do your hair a certain way because someone else likes it that way... unless, of course, you are trying to prove a point.
: )
I like the bottom right because of how it frames your face, complements the shape of your face. That's not just texture but cut, too. But yeah, who wants the same style every day? LOL, if you've got it to work with, variety is the spice of life!
while i luv the whole natural look both styles look hot...the great thing about black hair is the versatility so u dont have to chose just one! U can do curly, straight, braids, hell if you really want to be bold be like people in my hometown and try some bright colored weave_just kidding but I hope u get mt drift
Oh, my mother is so anti-natural too. Just LOVES it straight!
Your hair is beautiful. Do what makes you comfortable.
The straight hair is very elegant.
I love it both ways and think it's great that you can switch it up from time to time.
I do the same...or I try. I struggle with the curly part. It works great sometimes after a texturizer, but that doesn't last long. So, because I'm in the gym most days, I usually end up pulling my hair back ... which everyone hates. But so far no one is offering to come style it for me everyday. Until then, they just have to deal with it. ha!
You look fabulous with both hairstyles.
I'm partial to big hair, so I'm more attracted to the curly look, but as said I think you wear both styles well.
Is it possible to blow dry your hair straight and then use a flat iron? I don't know if this is a less destructive method than hot comb, but my sister uses that method when she wants the straight sleek look and it doesn't have the smell you described.
"Nothing is worse that a dude who acts like long straight hair is magical then whines when he finds out the magic happens with a lot of moisturizer and a doo-rag. I am not white. This shit does not do this by happenstance, Mr. I Wanna Girl With Swishy But Non-Oily Hair."
Amen and Amen.
I like it straight, but only because I think it makes you look younger and seems to bring out your more playful side. The curly makes you look mature and serious a good look to have some days, but maybe not all the time. I say reserve the right to be versatile, as long as you don't relax, you don't have to commit to either. And despite what Mama Snob may be biased to believe, straight and natural hair a both take work to maintain, especially if the hair is as thick as yours (which I envy btw).
Also as a person who relaxes I appreciate you not turning your personal hair question into a denigrating diatribe on the “rejection of self and blackness” and “the mindless adherence to Euro-beauty standards” by all who chemically straighten. We all have the right to wear our hair the way we choose and to achieve those styles and whatever manner we're comfortable with and our hair will allow.
You look just like an older version of my 12 year old cousinwhose name is also Danielle. Your hair even looks the same. Her mother started giving her perms around 1st grade because she couldn't take it anymore. Everybody told her mom she was wrong for perming her hair that early especially since she is the most active child on the planet. She is a swimmer, gymnast, a cheerleader, basketball player. So most of the time her hair does not look good.
Snob, you have BEAUTIFUL hair, no matter the style. It is thick, looks healthy and seems to take any style. Do what you want and change you hair whenever you feel like it. I do agree that the bottom right pic is the cutest, but you look fab in them all!! YOU GO GIRL!
I will put in a vote for any way you want it. Your hair looks fabulous both ways. I say keep rockin' it according to what you want to see that day.
A long time ago, my biggest wish was to have hair halfway down my back. Well, after going natural for 7 years, I finally got my gigantic afro relaxed and wouldn't you know, it traveled about halfway down my back! And I must say, it was pretty. About 2 weeks later, I was ready to have it cut off. Guess I really didn't want it. Now, I am doing a short, short style (for the first time ever) and I love it. I get it relaxed from time to time, but don't feel pressured to keep it bone straight.
I did the afro because I felt the pressure to be "authentic" and I did the straight because I felt the pressure to have the long, straight hair. Now the pressure is gone and my hair is whatever I feel like seeing that day.