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« Tales From A Multi-Culti Life: The Fetishizer | Main | Forever Young »
Tuesday
Jun232009

Poem: I Miss You (2004)

I miss cornrows and cornbread
Nappy heads, tender headed become hard head
And them ends were dead
Because you put in the perm too long
Can’t grow long
Got a weave from Koreans and its strong
Got a Now-Later and it last all day long
In the middle of my pickle, throat tickle
From the trickle of the juice
He only drinks 40 proof
Rolls joints till he goes poof
Like puff the magic dragon
Days drag on, summer’s endless
Season change like skin tone
From dark to light, dark to light
Can’t stay out past 10 most nights
Better be in before you see the street light
I miss jacks, gum packs and hot wheel tracks
Click-clacks, Thundercats and Miss Mary Mack
All dressed in black with the buttons down her back
Hair straight, ass fat
Wearing one glove like Mike
Jerry Curl with a wiffle bat
And a 10-speed bike
At school pledge allegiance to the USA and MLK
Booker T and JFK
Heroes got shot down
Boy next door got shot down
Now he’s up state doing a bid
He cry, she cry
Cause she’s starting to get big, gonna have his kid
Said he didn’t mean to do what he did
Daddy ran all the mannish boys away
In the backyard my Mama told me to stay
Can’t walk on streets without sidewalks
It was the 80s, wish I could make like Flock of Seagulls and run so far away
Sister, all she does is Talk Talk, she wants her MTV
Wants her BET
We dance the Robocop, we hip hop, we Planet Rock
Daddy says when I go out I’m not just repping myself but repping 30 mil black folks strong
I’m only 6, now I’m 26, that shit still sounds wrong
Got my people on my back
I spend a lot of time looking at the ground
Hump so high they call me Quasimodo
Chasing me around with books, got my head in books
People give me dirty looks, cause being Einstein ain’t cool
Ain’t shit about me cool
And nobody likes me, but I gotta represent
We ain’t all ignorant
We ain’t all degenerates
We ain’t all arrogant
I’m going to college, gonna get a degree
We ain’t all miscreants
We ain’t all belligerent
And I’m so innocent
I believe all this shit
I’m gonna save the world by acing Algebra
They gotta accept us now
Anything the white kid can do I can do ten times better
Not because I want to, but because I have to
Daddy says that it’s true
Ain’t nobody gonna help pull us up
You gotta be tough
I just want love
Maybe love I’ll get
If I can keep the whole ship from going down
If I don’t drown
Though they turn their back on me
The pain will go away with age like acne
At least that’s what my mama said
Say my prayers before I go to bed
And if I die before I wake
I pray the Lord my people he’ll take
And save them from themselves
So I don’t have to do this shit by myself

I don’t want to go to school anymore
So I bust it out and graduate in three
Kids drop out, kids quituate
I got my four year degree
Went to the graduation, saw my family in the stands
I’d just straightened my hair
I looked out in the crowd for anyone
But there wasn’t a brown face there
Didn’t want to believe that this was the plan
Me versus “the Man”
I ain’t the US military and this ain’t no army of one
Still I’m done
My friends cheer me on
Say they ain’t gonna do shit but, me, I gotta future
They tell me to represent, I’m gone
If I make it, it’s like they made it
Even though that shit didn’t occur
Took the walk in 99 and I walked alone
Took the job in the double-o and I worked alone
Moved to Cali in 02 and I lived alone
All the blacks turned to Mexicans, I’m all alone
No more Mama jokes, no more rap songs
No more college, no more sororities
No more gospel, no more spirituals
It’s just me
And I just want to know
Where the fuck did everyone else go
Life picked them all off like flies
Shot for the skies, fell some place between hell and shit
Why did they get to quit
And I had to slug on
Why’d they get to get gone
And I’m still holding on with Barbie and Ken
Dating white men cause I haven’t met a single brother who didn’t have a record in four years
Silent eyes watching waiting on me to fail
And I’m in some limbo, racial hell
But I made it to 25, I’m still alive
I talk right, but can still talk jive
Dress like a herb and drink with the girls at the dive
Own a bunch of cats and only cry on the inside
Mama never said joining the struggle meant struggle of one
Best and brightest and now I’m a one woman revolution
Warm up my dinner in the microwave
Time to take the cat to get spayed
Sew that shit up, salt the earth so it never grows back
And keep to myself that I miss being black

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  • Response
    Sorry. Any transition serious enough to alter your definition of self will require not just small adjustments in your way of living and thinking but a full-on metamorphosis. Help me! Can not find sites on the: Mactech distance education. I found only this - distance education bachelor of nursing uk . ...

Reader Comments (4)

Belton, I hear a lot of pain in that poem.

June 23, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdukedraven

this is amazing

June 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKaikou

This made me cry. *hugs*

June 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMac

you are not a unicorn. i don't mean that in the way you usually mean it. :-)
i feel that poem from a personal place.

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterglory

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