@PI

Getting comfortable with who you are is often very difficult for dark skinned women in the BC.

I love the BWE blogs because I think they voice opinions that are usually shouted down in the BC. I direct every very young black women I know to view them.

I want young black women to hear counter arguments to the bull crap I was told as a child. I want young black girls to see images of beautiful black women of all shades which is why I also dig all the fab fashion and beauty blogs as well ...like Afrobella, Clutch and Lavish Mag. So that more young black women grow up with a healthy self image.

As for fair skinned and WW, I have never read anywhere on a BWE blog that darker skinned women should "blame" them for the behaviour of BM. I have posted before about how I have friends of all races...and I will bring my children up to live this way as well. We live in a global society and the fact that BW chose to be so BM identified is mystifying to me.

I was out at an event awhile ago with a beautiful white GF and a BM stepped in between us, smashed my toes with his heels as his back was to me...to try to chat up my GF. Similar situations have happened before. I have realized when men are motivated by sexual attraction, they often don't realize how they are behaving or what they are doing. I have noticed being in IR groups often that BM are not even aware of how they react to fair or white skin...it can be very subconcious. It is very deep, I think that is why it is hard to discuss. Do you think the BM who stepped on my toes and knocked me out of the way to talk to my WG are aware of what they did, most were not. Also keep in mind I am a size 6 and a former model. We all know how BM like to talk about attitude, yet I have seen so many situations where the gut or guttural reaction of BM, was to see a light skinned GF of mine from across the room, across the hall , and across the street and they come running, like they were possesed. Now of course that in no way effects my relationship with my GF we are still like peas and carrots ;-)

Again, once BW feel comfortable about themselves there will be less of these misunderstandings.

@Knockoutchick:
"I love the BWE blogs because I think they voice opinions that are usually shouted down in the BC. "

That's because the majority of the BC -- and not just BM or the poor -- would rather continue destroying itself from the inside than deal with ugly truths. Even Oprah doesn't discuss these topics on her show. And she's a billionaire with nothing to lose.

Concerning BWE sites and IR:

I have to cosign sasha above about the way that constructive criticism is often shot down or assumed to be some vast conspiracy against Black women by Black men and their enablers. One irony is that while Evia's site is explicitly devoted to BW IRs, she seems to take a more individualist, "don't throw out all BM" approach than many of the people who comment there or who host their own sites [whether for BW or BM] which don't have the explicit purpose that hers has and who seem to use Black IR dating as a way to bash Black people of the opposite gender, either explicitly or by implying that actively looking outside the race, rather than taking an "open" stance, will lead to salvation.

As for silence about BM on BW violence from "leaders," I wonder if this is more about not seeing Black-on-Black violence as being as problematic as attacks on Black people from other groups. (Didn't Sharpton, at least, speak up in favor of Tawana Bradley and the accuser in the Duke case?)

@ Kenneth: "I have to cosign sasha above about the way that constructive criticism is often shot down or assumed to be some vast conspiracy against Black women by Black men and their enablers. One irony is that while Evia's site is explicitly devoted to BW IRs, she seems to take a more individualist, "don't throw out all BM" approach than many of the people who comment there or who host their own sites [whether for BW or BM] which don't have the explicit purpose that hers has and who seem to use Black IR dating as a way to bash Black people of the opposite gender, either explicitly or by implying that actively looking outside the race, rather than taking an "open" stance, will lead to salvation."

I agree. Last night, I visited a blog that was linked to the one N gave me the link for --I don't remember the name, but there was a BM who made the comment that sometimes BW have difficulty creating relationships with good BM because they reject the good ones in favor of the exciting ones. They want him to be a little bit thug and the rest good, but that isn't possible. “A man is either good or bad,” I believe he said. I agree with what he said, because I have witnessed this foolishness myself -- most Blacks have, which is why I don't understand the need to deny it on this particular blog. They're not helping women by pretending that they have no control over who they're choosing.

This man also said something that I've seen PROVEN, repeatedly, by both men and women, who choose one bad apple after another. Dating outside your "race" will not solve your problem if you really want a thug. Every ethnicity has thugs. If that's what you really want deep down, that's who you'll respond to.
The comments to him were completely irrational, even though he said what he did with the utmost respect. AND he was right! They accused him of being like others in the BC who want to keep BW down. I didn't get that feeling from what he said AT ALL. In fact, I thought his words were honest, helpful, and kindly meant. You're not going to meet and marry Ward Cleaver if what you really want is Norman Bates. That's just a fact.
I remember thinking, "Wow! These women are so paranoid."

“As for silence about BM on BW violence from "leaders," I wonder if this is more about not seeing Black-on-Black violence as being as problematic as attacks on Black people from other groups. (Didn't Sharpton, at least, speak up in favor of Tawana Bradley and the accuser in the Duke case?)”

I don't think it was hard for them to speak up in those cases, because their running theme is “White people are evil.” Shining a light on every act of White evil against any and all BP doesn't make them, as BM, look bad. I suspect THAT is the #1 reason they have said nothing. They're more concerned with how they and other BM look and don't much care what happens to BW, unless they can USE one to prove that White people are evil.

Ok, this post is not related to empowerment blogs, but a conversation I had tonight just made me realize (or solidify some random thoughts I had on the topic) some things about dating the "Other". A Turkish guy I am friends with is dating a Russian woman (actually I think she is Ukrainian, but all E. Europeans get called Russian here). My Turkish female friends have lost it over this. Why? Because the common stereotypes of Russian vs Turkish women are:
- They are more into their man and take better care of the household than Turkish women
-They are better at sex
- They are not as aggressive, loud or demanding as Turkish women (ring a bell with anyone?)

I bring this up because there is a haunting familiarity with things I heard in the US when anyone dated outside their group. So it leads me to the conclusion that all people are weird when one of "ours" dates/marries one of "them". I mean, isn't it freaky that many of the "hates" geared towards BW by BM are the same hates sent by Turkish men to Turkish women, and the reaction of Turkish women to Turkish men dating Russian women is almost the same as when BM date WW?

100% weirdest note is that dating/marrying a non-Turk who isn't Russian generates the heat of a Garrison Keillor (sp?) bit ...upto and including when a Haitian-American Catholic man marries a Turkish woman!

Conclusion: People are crazy....everywhere

@SG: Yes i actually agree with you that sometimes they very much engage in "victim blaming" and definitely only focus on heterosexual relationships(as do most black blogs). one of the reasons why I totally hate all these studies coming out about black women not being married with kids is because they never offer any breakdown of the numbers. what i mean is they never tell the percentage of women who are lesbian, the percentage who are in relationships but just not legally married, etc. they act like there is something wrong with being single after a certain age.

@Andrea,you're welcome. Womanist Musings is a wonderful blog.

@Kopekler: I think you're right. Mostly.
But I also believe that the resentment in both cases stems from the "fetish" factor, more than anything else.

What I mean is, if a woman, or man, believes that they are being rejected by a member of their group/ethnicity -- whether they actually know the person or not -- in favor of the “other,” based on WHAT they are (one of them) as opposed to WHO they are (a complex, individual Human) there will be bitterness and anger.

Rejecting members of your group because they ARE members of your group tells the world that you don't like being what you are. And what could be more PATHETIC than hating yourself and worshiping the “other”? That's probably why some BM and, apparently, some Turkish men, too, feel the need to create negative stereotypes about the female members of their groups to justify it. Men from other ethnicities date and marry members of other groups all the time, but don't feel the need to insult their female members. It's very telling.
And keep in mind, I'm only referring to the ones who feel the need to insult the females of their group. Before your post, I thought it was strictly an AA male, slave-mentality thing. You know, “I's stepping out wi' massa's daughter!” type of thing. I have never heard an African man make similar remarks about African women.

Also...
I don't know about the Turkish community, but most in the BC have nothing but criticism for BW who dare to date outside the group. Even BM who have never had a relationship with a BW will feel justified in criticizing a BW who dates a non-BM. Especially if he's White. They go NUTS if he's White. It's ridiculous!
I can't even tell you the number of times someone dredged up SLAVERY whenever they even SUSPECTED that a guy I was seeing might be White. Most of these “commentators” are not even related to me, they're not friends, they barely even qualify as acquaintances. And the majority of this peanut gallery is composed of BM who date WW, some exclusively!

This kind of hypocrisy has probably added to the anger felt by many of the BWE/IR bloggers, in regards to the BC making BW feel like “sell-outs” for dating men who's only known fault is not being Black. If BW have to stick by BM why don't they have to stick by BW? THAT'S the anger inducing question.

@Sasha: “they act like there is something wrong with being single after a certain age.”

I think these “studies” on AA women and marriage are little more than reverse psychology, tinged with racism. And it may be working. Young BW I never thought would utter the word “marriage” are now settling for men they would never have looked at before, and getting hitched. It seems to have sparked a competitive streak in many ambitious BW who would normally be focusing all this “getting hitched” energy on getting to the top of their fields.

I don't trust the intent of these studies, especially since the media outlets promoting them have, in the past, complained about BW having children out of wedlock and living in poverty. Now, they're complaining that BW are choosing higher education and financial success over marriage and unwed motherhood. I'm sensing sabotage.

BTW, Jack N Jill Politics is very good too.

Wow the first hot topic to get over 100 posts! Good job everybody!

@Kopekler

Oddly enough, I have heard this from many men from traditionally chavaunistic backgrounds. Most of the comments made by BM about BW. Many young Italian men have the same views about Italian women and they too supposedly are choosing Russian women in greater numbers who are viewed as more traditional. Italian men say Russian women are "less bossy". At least that's what I've been told.

German men have told me that they find German women "too controlling", so in their minds I guess they think marrying a BW, they will find a different temparment. I'm sure when BM hear that they will roll on the floor in laughter.

Yet, I have to hand it to the Russian girls, they know how to play the game.

Men who come from more traditionally "macho" cultures have a LOT of issues with independent and educated women. This is really an issue about the change in male/female roles....and it is very much an issue in all West societies.

I often find it funny when blacks say things like..."only black people stab each other in the back like that...and so on". there is only one behaviour I have seen in black Americans that I do not see in other cultures and that is the need to LOUDLY broadcast our ills to others. Certainly in among most European and Asian cultures there is a great deal of pride in ancestry and people are less likely to walk around yelling "All ???? men are lazy fools" or "All Asian women are ugly".

The fact that BW are by and large more educated than BM is only going to cause a larger and larger rift.

In any case, I think IR marriage all of types can be positive.

Sometimes interacting with groups of BM and BW and you can just feel the tension, anger and mis-trust. Familiarity breeds contempt.

@Knockoutchick: “I often find it funny when blacks say things like..."only black people stab each other in the back like that...and so on". there is only one behaviour I have seen in black Americans that I do not see in other cultures and that is the need to LOUDLY broadcast our ills to others. Certainly in among most European and Asian cultures there is a great deal of pride in ancestry and people are less likely to walk around yelling "All ???? men are lazy fools" or "All Asian women are ugly".”

You're right. I think it's odd that so many AA are willing to insult each other based on gender, but let someone make a statement about something REAL that affects the BC itself, and can only be changed by the BC, and most want to sweep it under the rug.

“The fact that BW are by and large more educated than BM is only going to cause a larger and larger rift.”

I've noticed a lot of BM on the internet are angry that so many BW are educated. They complain that BW want to be independent of BM and even claim that we are the “only women on Earth who want to be independent of their man”. (Yeah, that makes perfect sense. We did, afterall, start the women's rights movement.) I'd like to know when they believe BW WERE dependent on BM. When did BW NOT have to work for a living? These men seemed to believe that BW should be dependent on BM, even though they also resented BW wanting a better life for themselves and their children.
Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't wanting someone to be dependent on you just so you can keep them down EVIL and self-serving?

@ Andrea

I think men of all races are not too thrilled with educated women.

I think there is a delicate balance that is difficult to achieve if the man feels the woman is more skilled.

Men instinctively want to be in control. The difficulty in the BC is that BM generally do not have the financial or
emotional stability to "run things". Possibly this can change.

Clarifying..........
"most" BM don't have the financial.............
we all understand the history of that

@Knockoutchick:
That's true, but the problem with TOO MANY BM is that they want to be in control of what they HAVEN'T earned. I have seen quite a few “relationships” where a BW works 8-12 hrs/day, comes home to a mess made by a man who's too lazy to get and keep a job, cleans up his mess, takes care of the kids -- the youngest of whom go to day care because HE can't be bothered, and then cooks dinner while he lays on the sofa drinking beer in front of the tv, complaining about how “the man” is keeping him down.
He's a man who's keeping a woman, he supposedly cares for, down, but that never seems to bother this type of guy. They are the “king.” They've done nothing to earn the title, but they believe they deserve it, none the less. And the money situation?... This type of BM actually BELIEVES he has the RIGHT to tell a woman, who's carrying his baby in her belly while carrying him on her back, how and when to spend what she alone has earned. AND HE REFUSES TO MARRY HER!!!

Men of all other cultures WORK for a living and want their WIVES to stay at home and tend to the children and household, so that they can have control. They're paying the cost of being the boss! THAT is natural. These men aren't spending their wives hard earned income on alcohol, gambling, video games and porn, while she does EVERYTHING else in the relationship and household, then demanding more respect than they give.
And I'm not saying all BM are this way. I actually have two VERY specific “men” in mind. Fortunately, most of the BM I know are the exact opposite of them. They understand that a MAN is supposed to take care of himself, his woman and their children. But such men are not the problem. The rest are.

I'll give you a perfect example of how some of these delusional BM misogynists think. I read this particular post more than once, because I thought it might be a joke. When I realized it wasn't, I felt sick. It comes from the comments section of a BWE/IR blog:

“bw own 70% of the wealth of black america, because bm wont let go of the word PROVIDER. They let bw earn and keep their money and bash them everyday for not being a PROVIDER, so the man keeps working and giving most of his money to the deceitful creature that is woman. So she has all her money and most of the man's money. So she has 70% (or more) while he has a paltry 30% (or less) and then the bw said, you're a loser, let me go find a non-black man! hooray! How the power of the WORD has affected black men!

Oh, I forgot. the woman now having far more money, secretly meet at feminist get together and help each other to send their daughters to college in far greater numbers while the men have hardly a penny to send their sons to college at comparable rates. then the bw laugh at them behind their backs and say: "We have them on the run. We soon own everything, girls!" Now that we rule, let's go get some white men, so that we can make our own race! And while all that is going on the bw distracts the bm with all manner of utterings to make him feel that he's responsible for his own demise. She plays no part in it! The mighty WORD!”
https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=3046913066595294996&postID=4557261206443433919&isPopup=true
(Anonymous - June 22, 2009 3:43pm. It's near the bottom of the page)

Sometimes, I read crazy rants like that and wonder if they're just writing it for the attention they're desperate for, or do they really believe what they are saying. I've been going back to some of the blogs I had visited before this discussion began, to read the comments sections, and also the new ones I was referred to by some of you. It's very disturbing. The level of self-deception on the part of men like this is astounding. Some of these crazy comments made me wonder if I knew BM who felt just as much envy and hate for BW as the ones online, but, like someone else wrote earlier in the postings, didn't have the guts to say it to our faces. I hope I don't know anyone like these online cretins, because, let's face it, they are not all staying online. Just ask the McGowan family.

@Aabaakawad:
“Also, for any man, when personal power and control is frustrated or squelched, it can come out pathologically as mental or physically domination of their "loved" ones, sometimes even choosing fear as a substitute for respect. It is the most powerless men who tend to be domineering, possessive, or violent.”

That may be true, you're a man, you'd know. But in other cultures, the women aren't killed for ignoring a STRANGE man. Want an example?

Last week, I read a story about a young BW entering a night club, minding her own business, when a strange BM called out to her that she was beautiful. She went inside, saying nothing in response, as most of us would, seeing as how he was a strange man with a group of other strange men. When she came out 2 hours later, he tried to choke her to death! And very nearly succeeded. His friends later told the police that he had said she thought she was too good for a brotha and he was gonna show her “what time it is”.

Tell me, does this attempted murder fit into EXPLAINABLE male behavior?!! Can you tell me WHY any man would do this, and why does it seem to ALWAYS be BM attacking and killing BW -- BW they don't even know, for the crime of ignoring them? Cause I'd really like to know. It's very scary.

Maybe that's the point... A form of terrorism directed at BW by lower-class BM.

@Aabaakawad: “All healthy societies have institutions, or at least customs and rituals, to fulfill this. It can't be done by the female elders or the mother, not because she lacks skill, but because the immature human male will only take guidance from other males when it comes to how to be a man. I repeat: women, through no fault of their own, cannot teach civilized behavior to boys in a way that can override the boys' base instincts. I suspect this is so basic as to be neurologically based. Male guidance is the ONLY way the imprint proper ambitions and civilized behavior towards the opposite sex, or even towards the rest of society.
Once the man to boy wisdom cycle is broken, which is one of the many destructive things that happened in slavery when men were not allowed to be men, it can be almost out of reach to re-establish it. Much of the Black community did succeed at rehabilitating the role of the male leader after slavery, but some parts didn't. This is not just a black phenomenon of course.”

You are absolutely right. This is why I cringe whenever I meet or read about a woman of any ethnicity who PLANS to have a child out of wedlock. My father may have been far from perfect (he was an alcoholic), but he came to see us every single day after he and and our mother split, and he always told us that he loved us. Which is probably why neither of us did the stupid, self-destructive stuff most of the other kids we grew up with did. I never realized how good I had it father-wise, until ALL of my fatherless female friends turned up pregnant by the time I graduated high school. Most of them kept their babies -- because their mother's believed that it was a “punishment” that would keep them from having sex again in the future, and my friends did not graduate as a result.

“Boys will follow male leadership (even as expressed in mere entertainment) almost without thought, no matter how sick the behavior being modeled, or how close in age the male leader is to the follower. In the American underclass (blacks and others) and increasingly in the working class and even sometimes the middle class, tweens are following adolescents, and adolescents are following immature men and they all are following irresponsible mass media, predictably leading to unfettered morbid narcissism.”

This is why BET should be razed to the ground, along with Death Row Records and a few other so-called “music” and entertainment companies. From what I can tell, they have young men of just about every ethnicity acting a fool, though to a far lesser extent than BM. Probably because rap music and its misogynist, self-hating bent, is considered a part of “Black culture”... Mostly by people who are not Black.

“Tragically, I do not have much hope for men improperly imprinted as children. They can learn what the rules should be, and simulate compliance, but not feel bound by them: basically the very definition of sociopathy.”

I totally agree with you and Evia on this. It's very sad. The worst part is, I know a few BW who are convinced that they have the power to fix what's broken in BM like that, but that's not just arrogant it's delusional and self-destructive. It's hard for people to change, even when THEY want to. But these women want to SEEK OUT these dregs and spend their lives playing Annie Sullivan to a dangerous, male Helen Keller.
I suspect it was this kind of irrational reasoning that got Jennifer Hudson's family massacred.

BTW, I want to know what you think of the man who posted that crazy blog comment/rant from my previous post. Do you think he's the type to kill in the future? Is it even possible to tell who's going to kill in the real world and who's just venting their paranoid beliefs on the internet, because it's anonymous?

Gah! I'm so glad other people have noticed the "ignore me, I strangle you" response. This has happened to me TWICE (and that's just with choking). It's a *good* day when me and my friends go out, ignore a man, and he just yells and calls someone a bitch. I've been threatened/followed/pushed/hit/choked/grabbed all for either ignoring guys or defending another girl against aggressive men. And almost all of my BW friends have been assaulted at some point for ignoring someone, but I think I catch more of it because I don't "know my place." Even just saying, "Hey, she doesn't want to dance with you" could get me physically/sexually assaulted (and why don't folks realize that angrily grabbing someone's butt/breast/crotch is ASSAULT?!) But I just have a hard time keeping my mouth shut when I see fellow BW in trouble.

@Aabaakawad: “As to his tendency to violence, he seems like a talker who is resigned to the his alleged persecuted situation. He probably takes pride in his "self-control" in not taking vengeance because he treasures his moral superiority.”

This made me feel a little better.

“But you never know. His delusions provide cover however for those he hangs with who do have violent tendencies, so he is still dangerous anyways.”

This, not so much.

“Ones to worry about, speaking generally about dangerous men, seem to be either 1) disorganized, explosive, and easy to spot; or 2) organized, "masked" men nursing sadistic fantasies, and impossible to spot.      ►►► 1) crouching tiger; or 2) hidden dragon

*shudder*”

Wishing I hadn't asked. LOL.

“Maybe we better move on to a more hopeful subject.”

Yeah. I'm thinking the same.

@AngryBlackChick:
“Gah! I'm so glad other people have noticed the "ignore me, I strangle you" response. This has happened to me TWICE (and that's just with choking). It's a *good* day when me and my friends go out, ignore a man, and he just yells and calls someone a bitch. I've been threatened/followed/pushed/hit/choked/grabbed all for either ignoring guys or defending another girl against aggressive men. And almost all of my BW friends have been assaulted at some point for ignoring someone, but I think I catch more of it because I don't "know my place." Even just saying, "Hey, she doesn't want to dance with you" could get me physically/sexually assaulted (and why don't folks realize that angrily grabbing someone's butt/breast/crotch is ASSAULT?!) But I just have a hard time keeping my mouth shut when I see fellow BW in trouble.”

I'm so sorry you've had to go through all that. It's AMAZING, the only men in America who can get away with this daily savagery is the poor, put-upon BM. Screw the BW, right?!
You shouldn't have to tell another adult human being not to violate your person, or even just your personal space! It's beyond disrespectful, it's ridiculous!!! And one would THINK that another “good” BM would at least try to stop this acting out by the “bad” BM, but that's almost unheard of.

Tell me, have other men witnessed any of these events and attempted to protect you or your friends? Please, surprise me and say “yes.”

I could say that this all happened in one place with a specific demographic of people. Buuut no such luck. And the majority of the men have been Black, but not all. Some have been white, latino, or Asian. Most of the men I've encountered like this are middle to upper middle class. The vast majority of instances have happened at my expensive, liberal, college campus. And not at ALL just when we go out for the night. Some of this stuff is just regular walking to class in the middle of the day type harassment.
And Andrea...do you really want me to answer that question? Cuz I think we all know the answer: the only people who have EVER defended me have been my girls. And one time a male professor.

Sometimes I feel like I'm just the unluckiest person ever when it comes to this. But from what I gather, guys really do single me out because I act "uppity." Street harassment is DEFINITELY a form of terrorism. All of it to beat us into submission.

@Aabaakawad: "It would be very dangerous for me to be at such venues because I always do interfere when a woman is abused/intimidated physically. I have gotten away with this so far, because I go in soft-spoken but can bluff being dangerous. But in the three incidents I am thinking of, everyone involved was white, and the abuser didn't have back-up. I'm not sure what I would do if I was risking a riot. I don't want to find out."

At least you were man enough to say something. I'm sure those women were very relieved that someone had the guts to help them.
When that BW college student was kidnap, raped, tortured and paraded through the streets naked in front of the homes of BM who probably tell themselves and others that they are the "good" BM, they did not even pick up the phone to call the police. They did take time out of their busy schedule to watch, however!!
It takes no guts whatsoever to call 911, just a telephone is required. If you can't be bothered to do that little you should have your balls revoked, because you're less than a coward, you're beneath contempt.
Thank you, Aabaakawad, for NOT being a man in name alone, like most of your gender.

@AngryBlackChick: “I could say that this all happened in one place with a specific demographic of people. Buuut no such luck. And the majority of the men have been Black, but not all. Some have been white, latino, or Asian. Most of the men I've encountered like this are middle to upper middle class. The vast majority of instances have happened at my expensive, liberal, college campus. And not at ALL just when we go out for the night. Some of this stuff is just regular walking to class in the middle of the day type harassment.”

Thanks to all the Hollaback street harassment websites, that doesn't surprise me. It almost makes me glad I live where I live, in spite of its crummy job market for American born and naturalized citizens.

“And Andrea...do you really want me to answer that question? Cuz I think we all know the answer: the only people who have EVER defended me have been my girls. And one time a male professor.”

Yeah, I thought so. But at least you know ONE man who isn't a gutless wonder.

“Sometimes I feel like I'm just the unluckiest person ever when it comes to this. But from what I gather, guys really do single me out because I act "uppity." “

Free advice is seldom cheap, but here's mine.... If you haven't already, take a self defense course for the basics, then learn a martial art on top of that -- judo, karate, pa kua chang, tae kwon do, take you pick. Such classes are widely available and not very expensive. The reason I recommended martial arts on top of self-defense, is that I've noticed that the women I know who have studied martial arts, even if they have never used it in public, exude a self-confidence that seems to make a-hole types think twice about messing with them under any circumstances. It's a lot safer than carrying a knife or gun, either of which could be used against you if things don't go your way.
If you don't have time for classes, what with your coursework and everything, a punch in the throat will always make a man let go of you. A crotch shot is good, too. LOL. In fact, you could follow the throat punch with a crotch kick. Then call the police, so he can't claim that you attacked him for no reason. You'll become a very UN-popular target, in the future. I suspect the ones on your campus know each other.

“Street harassment is DEFINITELY a form of terrorism. All of it to beat us into submission.”

THE LAWS NEED TO CHANGE. There are a lot of men who see it as their right to make women fear for their lives, and if the law refuses to protect us from those men, we have the right to do WHATEVER is necessary to defend ourselves. And that includes killing them before they can hurt us. Over dramatic? Maybe. But isn't it better to kill terrorists before they can kill you? Isn't that why our military is stretched to its limit right now? Fear of terror.
If that line of reasoning is good enough for the US government, it should be good enough for its most vulnerable citizens -- women and girls.